How many of you are on OKcupid?

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OKCupid is alright. It's more thoughtful than the other sites at least.

Last edited by ReindeerRoger on 25 Feb 2012, 3:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

Did you send them a 'hello'?

I'm on okcupid.

I keep meaning to message this one girl but then I forget...

blah!

I've been active on OKCupid for a while. I've sent messages to women who seem like really great matches (not just the % but from reading their profile) but they don't respond. I feel a bit depressed about that but I suppose I should stick with it until someone who's a match and who responds comes along. I put a lot of thought into my profile and I make small changes to it every 2nd day or so. I even managed to answer more than 700 questions.
Apparently I'm more introverted, pure, compassionate, kind, progressive, conventionally moral, laid-back, romantic and love driven than average (ordered by deviance from average).

I live in the suburbs of the 2nd biggest city in Australia so I've got a lot of choice, it's just really hard finding profiles of women I can relate to.

I've been on OKcupid briefly over the years, on several accounts (due to forgetting password). It is interesting to type in weird key words and find people that match.

Also answered some of the personality questions with brutal honesty and intrigued by the matches it found. Also, out of curiosity, searched some really negative personality characteristics.

In all, it was very addictive.

However, not very good with online chit chat, though many of the people seemed worth meeting but am just too shy....worried about making an IM faux pas.

I wrote some of the people, they responded back but i never knew how to respond after that (though i wanted to).

Meeting people online....it is a great concept but too many hoops to jump. What is hard is figuring out how to word e-mails.

Eventually i lost interest but still have one OKcupid account that i haven't checked in a while.

I hardly ever check it anymore. I'd delete it if I could remember the password. Complete waste of time.

Tbh, I've done that before. I guess it's partly an old fashioned thing, wanting the man to make the first move, it's not laziness, I don't think.

And I guess either way making someone a 'favourite' is a way of nudging someone and saying: "Hey, I'm interested in you, are you interested in me?" without sending a message, only to not receive a response or to receive a crushing rejection.

I've had one date with a guy I'd exchanged a few messages and then emails with.

He seemed like quite a nice guy. But in hindsight, I suspect he was looking for more of a sexual hookup. We had a couple of drinks in a bar, I thought we seemed to get on okay, but afterwards he sent me a text saying something like: "Nice to meet you but I didn't think there was any chemistry between us."

It just seemed to me to be quite an unreasonable expectation. I mean, it can happen, very rarely, that you meet someone and you automatically click and you fancy them, at least it's happened very, very rarely with me. More often than not, I've had relationships with guys who I've known for a while before dating and getting involved with them, i.e. men I knew through community groups/campaigns, work colleagues, fellow students.

I wouldn't have ruled him out after only that first date, so I was quite surprised that did. But then because he placed so much emphasis on "chemistry" by which I guess he was meaning sexual attraction, then perhaps he wasn't interested in getting to know someone before embarking on a relationship, he wanted to go straight from 1st to 5th gear.

Other than that one date, I find it quite depressing, actually.

It's like when you go to a bar or party with friends, and you meet someone you think is quite nice, but they're not attracted to you, that's just one room full of people that doesn't find you attractive.

When you put a profile on an internet dating website, and no one, or hardly anyone contacts you, it feels like the whole city/country/internet/world is rejecting you. Apart from the passport hunters/scammers.

Having said that, I have been chatting to someone and I'd like to meet him, but I'm temporarily stuck in a different city at the moment.

I have read that the odds are against 40-something women. Even many of the 40 and 50-something guys would prefer to date a girl in her late teens or twenties. And I'm not skinny either, and that's a problem as lots of men insist on women being skinny (even if they're a bit a chunky and no oil painting themselves!), whereas I've had boyfriends who were skinny, athletic, podgy, fat, tall or not so tall, full head of hair or receding/balding... I'm not so hung up on physical attributes as the men seem to be, I'm more interested in their character, if they're intelligent, have a good sense of humour, seem kind and caring. That kind of thing doesn't seem to matter to many men, who just seem to want slim waist and big boobs.

Like I said, it's depressing to put yourself out there and you get hardly any messages, but you read all the time how internet dating is where it's all and all the young folk can have a different date every night if they want, they can take their pick from all the people who are messaging them. Or maybe it's just a myth? Maybe it's just propaganda put out by the internet dating companies? (One of my neighbours got his last two girlfriends from internet dating websites.)

I looked at your profile. The main thing that struck me was that although you look relatively attractive, you come across as quite gloomy, which doesn't really scream: Pick me, date me, we'll have some fun and have a good time.

But the thing that would put me off (if the 20 year age gap wasn't already an insurmountable problem!) would be your answers to a couple of questions regarding race. You don't have a problem with racist jokes. And if you happened to have children you'd want to have them with a white partner because you'd want them to be white. (Incidentally, I'm wondering, how can you live in a multicultural, ethnically diverse city like Manchester and end up with such views? It's not like you're living out in Sticksville in the country where there are no/few ethnic minorities, where that might be some kind of an excuse for such views?)

I'm white, but even I find that kind of attitude problematic. And I'm guessing a lot of other women would too. Lots of young people in this day and age have family members, friends, classmates and colleagues from different ethnic backgrounds and mixed ethnic backgrounds, so they'd be put off dating someone who doesn't have a problem with racist jokes or who only wants to have white children.

You might have a better chance of finding a date at an EDL meeting or rally.

Yeah, I messaged the one I thought looks interesting and she told me she was too shy to message me and was hoping I'd message her

I might check it out Ill have to conjure up the courage to create a profile and post a pic of myself too.

I have no choice where to live and neither do I feel I should have to move from an area of a country that my ancestors have lived in for several thousand years. I do not need an excuse to love my people or to have a preference towards them, such an attitude exists naturally in all humans, regardless of the race they belong to and is only lacking in people who have been programmed to accept the decline of their people.

I do not hate other races, I just object to their large presence in my country, would you argue with a Tibetan about not wanting the Chinese controlling his land or a Palestinian who doesn't want Jewish settlers to force him out of his town?
Only a very nasty person would support this and yet to encourage non-white people to move in large numbers into white towns is not only okay, but to speak against it is wrong?

I an not sorry for loving my people and wanting them to preserve their heritage and homeland, for the same reasons I found the European colonisation of the America distasteful or the same reason I oppose Israeli aggression in the Levant. If women find my pride and willingness to argue for my beliefs off putting, then I can only suggest that the problem does not belong to myself, but to them.

i've only joined in for the tests because i'm not into online dating due to its unreliablity. i had to write a profile where i said i'm into nerdy stuff and openly admitted i'm an Aspie in order to try to blow men off into not speaking to me. instead, i've received creepy responses from guys saying "do you have MSN?", "let's meet", "ur hot", or "i have AS, too", and other BS. i don't know whether to think they're psychopaths (remember the Craiglist Killer?) or they just wanna get on my nerves. i'm not very active on it and nor do i care about the "dating" part. so screw it!

Dream Lord knows what's up. It's not bad to love your own race/culture/people. Ask any of the "minorities" you may live near whether they consider themselves first a part of your country or first a member of their race. You'll see the result. Personally I feel the exact same way as DreamLord but I'm a hispanic living in the US. I don't want to marry a white woman, nor would I want my future children to marry white. There's something to be said for having pride in your culture and in your people.

Not only do I not have a problem with racist jokes, but I quite frequently make them. There's no hate involved but stereotypes exist because people fulfill them. It's not racism, it's the truth.

DreamLord is right to want to preserve his homeland and his heritage.

I'm assuming this is a message they send to every member:

But if not:
WTF? Most of the women probably rated as "most attractive" are not usually my type. This seems kind of stupid... and I wonder if this doesn't upset some people :/