Are relationships planned or not?

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I was always wondering whether most romances are planned or do they just happen? Obviously this whole pairing up thing frustrates me to no end and I often feel like asking a random couple in the supermarket "How did you get together?" Now as far as planned is concerned, I know that guys generally take the initiative. So I was kind of wondering that since I'm a guy, do I have to do something or can I just wait? I am 34 now and since most of my peers have already done this, I'm starting to wonder if I'm running out of time. Since I'm an aspie, I highly doubt I'll be able to take any kind of initiative.

But seriously it really mystifies me how so many people are able to pair up. I know it's not good to judge a book by it's cover but I can look at someone and say "Oh they're a loner" only to be shocked later on. I also don't understand how poor people are able to get together and have families. I hear that everyone needs love (supposedly) but I think some people should put a little more thought into it that's all. Maybe it's better to be alone for some people. To me it seems like people say to themselves "Well I guess we have to get married and have kids because that's what we're supposed to do" and then they're miserable.

I also wonder if people do it just out of the desire for pleasure or fear of loneliness. Loneliness isn't that bad...there are far worse things to fear.

Relationships aren't planned. If they were, wouldn't we know who the ideal partner is?
Gotta break a few eggs and then you'll find your omelette.
It's all to do with the prima facie.

Some are planned (arranged marriages) and some are unplanned. The norm in the Western world post 1900, is that its mostly unplanned.

I also believe in do not judge a book by its cover but most people do-you do not go to the book store and buy a book without looking at its title so by default you are judging a book by its cover-I would love to know also how to find a person that isn't superficial-it tough because feelings can creep up on you and grab you sometimes right away and sometimes it can take a while-what is bad if the other person doesn't feel the same way-that is difficult and can hurt very much and being on the spectrum can make it even worse than that and if the other person is also on the spectrum-it gets even more complex. People keep telling me that theres a lid for every pot-well not in my world it seems.

Good relationships aren't planned. That doesn't mean that sitting around and waiting for someone to come along is the thing to do. It just means that you put yourself out there and the chips will fall where they may. Any worthwhile relationship is not about control.

Relationships are spontaneous. That's how most people meet; through shared interests, and by talking and finding out you have a lot in common and like each other.

I got really close to a girl once, and she almost became my first girlfriend. Sadly, I got friendzoned, but maybe next time.

The biggest failure guys like us have with girls is that we overthink things. That, combined with poor social skills, is how we don't get girls.

Mine wasn't planned. I met my husband online and I wasn't even looking and we chatted online for three weeks before deciding to meet up. We met on my birthday and we walked around until I had to go to work. Then he kept coming to see me. I liked his personality and the kind of person he is so it made me want to stay with him. Plus he accepted me for who I was and was very flexible with me and he was not ashamed of me nor embarrassed. I nearly rejected him because he said on the first day we met that he can see us getting married and having kids and that freaked me out. We had just met and had only known each other online for three weeks and he was already thinking about marriage and having kids with me when he hardly knew me. To me that came off as desperate and him being in a rush to get married and have kids. But luckily I am a open minded person so I didn't judge him and run off. I just viewed him as naive then.

planned parenthood is eugenics program there all out to stop you from reproducing the feminazis turn you gay as them even listening to what they say after 7 seconds is up true story bro >_>

It depends on what you consider to be planned. My parents were set up in college by a mutual friend. I heard commercials for one of the major dating sites that says 1 in 5 relationships begin online. I found my 2nd & current girlfriend by posting about being lonely & wanting a relationship here. Unless you have someone offering to set you up like my parents family friend; you'll probably have to take some kind of initiative but it does not have to involve you chatting up a stranger hoping for a chance meeting; I've known few people who coupled at as a result of a random chance meeting except for people who are into the bar/club or party scene.

They can be both but generally they just happen. My bf is Aspie and I was trying to help a friend find a drummer as he needed one for a music video we were in. I asked a friend of mine for the name of a good drummer and I messaged him on FB. Apparently we had quite a few mutual friends and he had seen pics of me and knew who I was so he immediately messaged me back with his phone number and asked me to call him. I gave him more info on the music video, we chatted on FB and we met at the rehearsals and started to hang out, then date and now we are engaged. We really just "clicked" from the beginning and I was NOT looking for a relationship at all. So, every single person you meet has the potential to be ore.

Relationships are usually spontaneous and happen when you least expect it. And not all guys make the first move, which is quite alright! I was the one who pursued my boyfriend from the start. I pursued him not out of loneliness or desperation or anything besides the simple fact that from the moment I first saw him I was very attracted to him. He seemed so sweet and interesting, and I felt an odd connection with him that I couldn't explain, as if I knew him from somewhere before. Also, he's gorgeous. We started off as just friends, and then I began flirting with him, and finally I told him that I had a huge crush on him. He told me that he also had a crush on me, and now here we are!

Definitely not. Very random, in my opinion.