Being a "lady"

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Used this way, my take on it is that it is kind of saying "A lady knows her place." Here, "lady" seems to be a euphemism for "a polite woman who doesn't upset the status quo or challenge the dominant beliefs"

There's just something kind of regressive about the idea and I think, in this context, all women should not be ladies.

Of course the word is highly dependent upon context. In a different sentence, the word may have an entirely positive connotation.

Anyway, that's what I think.

Perhaps oddly, I am sort of ambivalent about it. I can see it as good or bad, but I don't have a concrete like or distaste for it. I'm wondering how much of what we use to define the word " lady" (and I'm including myself in this), has to do with cultural norms. I was raised in the Southern US, where I went through dance and etiquette lessons, did the whole hoop skirt debutante thing, etc, but I ended up spending half of my life in CA where gender lines are a lot less etched.

My ex hit me and his mother said she always taught her son not to hit ladies, but that I wasn't being a lady. It was enough to make me realize she was a... bad word.

Being a lady is some overrated bullsnot. I hate the term, there is this societal dichotomy between a lady and a not lady, the good girl who is a virgin and has all kinds of class, and the slut who is covered in tattoos and asking to be raped by frequenting biker bars half nude... and is probably from the Bronx, or worse, Canada. But there are lots of different kinds of women and lots of different kinds of men. I don't buy it, when I say "my lady friend" I'm simply indicating that my friend identifies as a female.

Hmmm ... you use it as an adjective too, I see.

Why do you not say "woman friend" or "girl friend"? Why "lady" in particular?

I do, I alternate, but I don't say lady as if to distinguish someone from those OTHER women. Lady just means female to me.

OK but does it reflect any particular quality?

You mentioned tattoos ... what would you think if I described any of these as a "lady tattoo"?

http://i3.squidoocdn.com/resize/squidoo ... tattoo.jpg

http://s3.amazonaws.com/ink_prod/photos ... _large.jpg

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3364/3478 ... 4f8c_o.jpg

But not this:

http://i3.squidoocdn.com/resize/squidoo ... tattoo.jpg

Would that confuse or offend you?

”Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you're not.”

Which is one reason I tend to assume such sorority girls are overcompensating trashy hobags.

I already said when I call someone lady I am only saying that person identifies as a female. I don't think of tattoos as being femaleor male. I was saying that dichotomy is bull, not that I believe it's accurate. I have no idea where you're going with this, but also I didn't go to see the tattoos you linked to because it's difficult on my mobile if I can't click the links and go to them, and I have never thought of anything as being "ladylike".

yes!
When I use the word, I usually just mean "girl", I go to a girls school and en mass we're usually addressed as and address each other as ladies because it's the easiest. Also in the case of lady friend it's like guy friend, she's a girl and she's my friend but she's not my girlfriend. (and woman friend just doesn't sound quite right to me)

But calling some women ladies and some women not ladies is totally used as justification to treat "non-ladies" (which is totally subjective) like crap.

A lady to me is a woman (a woman is an adult female human, as opposed to a child female human e.g. girl or a man) who is old fashioned. Not old fashioned as in stuffy and pompous but as in has old fashioned values, and also has expensive tastes, e.g. likes drinking expensive wine at a fancy bar for a night out rather than premixed drinks at a pub. Usually denotes old women because they were born in the era when it was 'classy' to drink Pimm's and cola at a nice bar in the up market part of town. I don't consider myself a lady, but I do consider myself an old fashioned woman...strange, and I don't think 'ladies' are snobby or think they're necessarily better than other women. A lady is like a female version of a gentleman.

Of course I'm just shooting the wind here but this is my idea of a lady. Not a derogatory term, just a type of woman.

Neither do I.



Just trying to get a sense of how the way I communicate is perceived, specifically whether or not the manner in which I use this word can be grasped from the contexts in which I use it, or whether I might offend someone whose opinions matter.

Basically I use it to describe something I perceive as being whimsical and playful in a feminine manner or relating to women somehow. I think I perceive of the term "ladylike" as entirely different, an archaic social convention that stinks of taboos.

For instance - I might describe your avatar as "lady bubbles" if it didn't sound like I was referring to anatomy or something. Because it's whimsical, and I guess sort of feminine - I can't see myself using an avatar of brightly coloured bubbles.

The tattoos I thought of as lady tattoos depicted things like flowers, dragonflies, and a Winnie the Pooh character (Eeyore, to be exact). The one that I didn't think of as a lady tattoo was also a flower, but it was wreathed with an angular black design, which made it too dark to be whimsical.

I picked up this use of the term from a woman ... I only ever used it with her, but I still think it. I understood it from context, and basically I am wondering if others would also get it from the context, or if I should keep it to myself to avoid misunderstanding.

As a message for adolescent girls, I think telling them to be cool, classy, and ladylike is a good thing.
To me, this means- don't be evil and vicious to other girls. Keep a cool head. Don't make hurtful, vulgar comments. Even if another girl goes Jerry Springer on you, don't bring out your own inner trailer park trash side. Instead, be kind and polite and ladylike. Don't call each other sluts and whores, rise above that crap of tearing other girls down.

I think it's funny that this message is on shirts of a sorority house, because I stereo-typically think of the sorority type as more likely to be a mean girl... Honey, have you READ your own shirt?

bingo. It has nothing to do with misandry and what other BS is being said. It says simply to be a nice person and not follow the stereotype for a woman of that agegroup. Wether the stereotype is correct or not is a whole nother thing.

Interesting people have so many different takes on the word.

I most often think of it, I guess, as a slightly-negative term someone uses for a female stranger, as in

"Hey lady, I was in line first!"

or, connotatively, I think of dominatrices, for some reason....

In black leather.

As in "Kiss Lady Red's boot like good boy!"

~strokes slave with riding crop~

Aaaand that's going to get moved to another section.

but see, its only you giving that word a negative conotation. The way ive learned it lady is just another noun. It doesnt have a particular meaning to it. Its just what you use to sound a bit stronger than girl/woman

"Connotation" is by definition a non-literal meaning of a word, as applied differently by the individual and slang in their culture (yours, for instance, defining lady as "neutral") so that makes sense.