there has to be women who like shy men

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I wouldn't be posting on here so often, if there were.

I have resigned myself to the fact I'll never find one. It's not looking good. I'm 30 and never once had a gf. I thought I had met some that were interested, but they proved to just be false alarms, yet again.

I don't want to feel like this much longer. So lonely, and rejected, and unwanted.

I like shy guys, I'm shy myself

you guys need to start thinking about how a woman would find or notice a shy guy. and then how would she know she can approach him.

dating sites and bars are great for the people who enjoy meeting new people and interacting with strangers. for the most part every form of finding a date is designed around the extroverted mindset. so ignore all that asap.

i keep advocating this because i understand how true it is personally. if you are shy then you will only be noticed after a long term exposure. a girl is not going to pick you up while your buying your cereal, but what if you had a class together, or worked together, or shared a hobby. so expand your social interactions where a woman can notice your personality and see the intelligent or committed or passionate side.

take a class on cooking
or learning a second language
or going back for a masters degree
change your job
join a bowling league
or a shooting club (guns/archery)
pick up yoga
or cycling/spinning

and dont think of it as spending money or wasting time. do something that you can enjoy or that will benefit your life financially or better for your health. make sure its something that makes you happy because people do pick up on that.

remember that shy guys do not spend 100% of their life looking at the ground. maybe thats how it seems when your in certain situations, so dont let those situations be the ONLY ones where your around others.

Sounds easier said than done. I've tried to get a job the past two years and it just isn't happening. After over a dozen interviews you'd think that I'd get something, but no. My mother can't even seem to get a new job after having had so many decades worth of work, so if she can't get one, what chance do I have with just close to two years experience? And I've been applying for just about everything. "Entry level" jobs my ass. Of course without money it's kind of next to impossible to go to college or to try to find any expensive hobby to pick up. Guess you could say that I should not even be thinking about dating if I don't have money, but I think that's a bit unfair seeing as to how I would not judge a potential date for not having a job in this economy.

Now, all of a sudden, everyone is liking shy men.

Being shy is less of an issue than being socially awkward. Girls I think can like shy men, but not crazy socially awkward men like myself, regardless of how shy or unshy we are.

some of the things listed are not that expensive, and some are free if your just watching and getting to know people there to see if its interesting. take archery for example, people love showing off their equipment and teaching others how to do it. it wont cost you a dime to go there and ask questions.

if your still working on a degree but have no job, you could pick up some college loans, they exist for that reason. i know the economy in this country is still kinda crappy, and for your age i think education would be more important than a job.

I have no job. That said, if you're up for doing some work for people (ie, I can work on cars sorta kinda OK) you can get paid a little bit. Ebay selling only requires a digital camera, not even a bank account is needed. I've got $100 in my paypal account from just selling random items I found in the trash or bought at thrift stores on ebay.

Not gonna answer your question about dating specifically, as I'm torn in that regard too, as I'm pretty much a loser with no job, too, but those are some ways to get some cash.

This is good advice. Bars & nightclubs don't tend to work. The problem is, I don't know if it is the same in other countries, but certainly here in Britain, that many people go to clubs "on the pull" meaning looking for casual sex. I don't know of a single NT relationship started in a nightclub that's gone longer than a couple of sex-filled weeks. As well, any halfway attractive woman is going to be creeped on from the minute she arrives, and unfortunately the nice lad, if he is the 10th man to approach her and the only non-creep among them, is going to be stuck with the same label. Also shy women don't tend to go clubbing very often, we feel all awkward and only seem to attract the players. Add to that the amount of drink or drugs that are often taken and it's no surprise that the signals all get garbled in transmission.

So in short, look elsewhere. Look for an environment where it is natural to talk to the other people there, without it being a sexual come-on. A place where you would feel comfortable and you think the type of woman you want would feel comfortable too.

Some cheaper suggestions:- Evening classes, often there is funding to get them cheaper or free if you are unemployed or low-income.
Charity work, there are lots of different kinds available.
If you play an instrument or can sing, what about a choir or band?
Community volunteering, local politics, residents' committee? I met lots of interesting people I've kept in touch with when I helped organise a local anti-neo-nazi campaign a few months ago.

With that kind of activity, you know you will be seeing the same people week in week out, and friendships can grow slowly from it. And the old hands will expect the newbie to be a bit shy at first. And often after classes & meetings everyone goes for a drink, so there's time to chat and get to know each other.

And don't forget friend-of-a-friend introductions - if you are making friends with men, they may have a sister, cousin, friend, colleague etc. who never meets anyone she wants to date because she's shy herself!

It IS spending money and wasting time, though. I would know because I tried this route several times, to no avail.

You're usually spot on with the rest of your advice, so eh.

was there a specific item you were referring to? if you enjoy nothing, then how can you expect to be happy?

taking extra classes or seminars to help further your career
joining a gym that has biking/spinning classes or taking up yoga.
these are things that you dont have to enjoy, but can provide a better life. no kid likes going to school, but it offers socialization and skills NEEDED for an adult life, so they go anyway.

couldnt have said it better. i especially want to point out the bolded part.
when there is a common ground, trust is already established to a certain point. a shy guy joining a new group will be pounced upon to get trained up. literally the only thing needed here is showing up.

Did someone say...shyguy?



Women do like shy guys, as long as they have things going for them BESIDES being shy.

All men I liked were shy, all the partners of my friends are shy.

There are a lot of shy men out there. Shy men are not a minority or something exotic, they are everywhere and a lot of them date .

Hmm, to be honest I want someone to be less shy than me. As I am too shy to even say hello to people a lot of the time, so I'd want someone who can give guidance.

I hear quite a few people say that, actually. They want someone to "bring them out of their shell". For me it's different. It is people who are shier than me who bring me out of my shell, because I become the more confident one and tend to embrace the role. I get intimidated around people who are a lot more outgoing than me, and wouldn't want to date someone like that.