26 Nov 2012, 11:47 am
26 Nov 2012, 1:49 pm
26 Nov 2012, 2:08 pm
26 Nov 2012, 2:17 pm
wtfid2 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
DialAForAwesome wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
DialAForAwesome wrote:
The way it was described before by Max is that, if memory serves, his ex-wife had the potential to have a higher-paying job than him, and that the plan was originally going to be that he stays at home and takes care of the kids, and that his wife works. But he mentioned in another thread that his ex-wife told him he had to work and she had to take care of the kids because it was what he "had to do." So it sounds like to me that she did plan this well in advance to end up with the kids. That is what makes it unfair.
each couple makes their own arrangements. if i had been in the same situation, my ex-husband would have gotten custody as he was the stay-at-home dad. that's the way it works. would you be saying it was unfair to ME, that my ex planned it that way? all we know is the result, not the motivation.
If your ex-husband was someone who shouldn't be taking care of kids, then yeah, I'd say it's unfair to you. If you're the one out there breaking your back making money and then you come home to take care of your kids after your ex-husband DIDN'T do it all day, then yes, that's patently unfair.
Thing is, like I've witnessed countless times, these courts damn near always tip their judgment in favor of the woman. I've even seen cases where the man was a deadbeat (which I am aware seems to happen more often) and the woman got custody of the kids. I see that as being fair. But if the man is the one doing all the work and the woman gets custody because she was a stay-at-home parent, even if she did almost nothing to take care of them, then that doesn't jibe well with me at all. Either way, to a courtroom, men lose.
it's not "in favour of the woman". it's in favour of the child. it's designed to be in the best interests of the child, NOT the parent. if the parents want an even arrangement, the onus is on them to set it up while they are still married. if the man is happy to have the woman stay at home during the marriage, then he can't really complain after they separate. if they aren't able to negotiate a more comfortable arrangement while married, that doesn't sound like a very good marriage to be involved in at all, in the first place.
on average, women end up financially worse off than men after divorce. that isn't fair either. that's one way the courts are still skewed towards men, and it's based on old-fashioned calculations. lots of stuff isn't fair, if you want to dredge it up.
Those lazy women. They should stay at home and in the kitchen... Where they belong. Forget this equal pay stuff. The only work a woman is good for is laundry, taking care of the kids and making a sandwich.
26 Nov 2012, 2:23 pm
ComradeKael wrote:
wtfid2 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
DialAForAwesome wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
DialAForAwesome wrote:
The way it was described before by Max is that, if memory serves, his ex-wife had the potential to have a higher-paying job than him, and that the plan was originally going to be that he stays at home and takes care of the kids, and that his wife works. But he mentioned in another thread that his ex-wife told him he had to work and she had to take care of the kids because it was what he "had to do." So it sounds like to me that she did plan this well in advance to end up with the kids. That is what makes it unfair.
each couple makes their own arrangements. if i had been in the same situation, my ex-husband would have gotten custody as he was the stay-at-home dad. that's the way it works. would you be saying it was unfair to ME, that my ex planned it that way? all we know is the result, not the motivation.
If your ex-husband was someone who shouldn't be taking care of kids, then yeah, I'd say it's unfair to you. If you're the one out there breaking your back making money and then you come home to take care of your kids after your ex-husband DIDN'T do it all day, then yes, that's patently unfair.
Thing is, like I've witnessed countless times, these courts damn near always tip their judgment in favor of the woman. I've even seen cases where the man was a deadbeat (which I am aware seems to happen more often) and the woman got custody of the kids. I see that as being fair. But if the man is the one doing all the work and the woman gets custody because she was a stay-at-home parent, even if she did almost nothing to take care of them, then that doesn't jibe well with me at all. Either way, to a courtroom, men lose.
it's not "in favour of the woman". it's in favour of the child. it's designed to be in the best interests of the child, NOT the parent. if the parents want an even arrangement, the onus is on them to set it up while they are still married. if the man is happy to have the woman stay at home during the marriage, then he can't really complain after they separate. if they aren't able to negotiate a more comfortable arrangement while married, that doesn't sound like a very good marriage to be involved in at all, in the first place.
on average, women end up financially worse off than men after divorce. that isn't fair either. that's one way the courts are still skewed towards men, and it's based on old-fashioned calculations. lots of stuff isn't fair, if you want to dredge it up.
Those lazy women. They should stay at home and in the kitchen... Where they belong. Forget this equal pay stuff. The only work a woman is good for is laundry, taking care of the kids and making a sandwich.
26 Nov 2012, 2:27 pm
26 Nov 2012, 2:32 pm
26 Nov 2012, 2:39 pm
Men...Women....
All I can say, is for people, *people*, to know who they are getting involved with, before they marry, let alone decide to have kids together.
Anyway, I was just passing by.
Fed up with both genders today...so....blah.
26 Nov 2012, 3:46 pm
wtfid2 wrote:
ComradeKael wrote:
wtfid2 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
DialAForAwesome wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
DialAForAwesome wrote:
The way it was described before by Max is that, if memory serves, his ex-wife had the potential to have a higher-paying job than him, and that the plan was originally going to be that he stays at home and takes care of the kids, and that his wife works. But he mentioned in another thread that his ex-wife told him he had to work and she had to take care of the kids because it was what he "had to do." So it sounds like to me that she did plan this well in advance to end up with the kids. That is what makes it unfair.
each couple makes their own arrangements. if i had been in the same situation, my ex-husband would have gotten custody as he was the stay-at-home dad. that's the way it works. would you be saying it was unfair to ME, that my ex planned it that way? all we know is the result, not the motivation.
If your ex-husband was someone who shouldn't be taking care of kids, then yeah, I'd say it's unfair to you. If you're the one out there breaking your back making money and then you come home to take care of your kids after your ex-husband DIDN'T do it all day, then yes, that's patently unfair.
Thing is, like I've witnessed countless times, these courts damn near always tip their judgment in favor of the woman. I've even seen cases where the man was a deadbeat (which I am aware seems to happen more often) and the woman got custody of the kids. I see that as being fair. But if the man is the one doing all the work and the woman gets custody because she was a stay-at-home parent, even if she did almost nothing to take care of them, then that doesn't jibe well with me at all. Either way, to a courtroom, men lose.
it's not "in favour of the woman". it's in favour of the child. it's designed to be in the best interests of the child, NOT the parent. if the parents want an even arrangement, the onus is on them to set it up while they are still married. if the man is happy to have the woman stay at home during the marriage, then he can't really complain after they separate. if they aren't able to negotiate a more comfortable arrangement while married, that doesn't sound like a very good marriage to be involved in at all, in the first place.
on average, women end up financially worse off than men after divorce. that isn't fair either. that's one way the courts are still skewed towards men, and it's based on old-fashioned calculations. lots of stuff isn't fair, if you want to dredge it up.
Those lazy women. They should stay at home and in the kitchen... Where they belong. Forget this equal pay stuff. The only work a woman is good for is laundry, taking care of the kids and making a sandwich.
As hyperlexian said. Women -are- working. I see more women working than men now in local stores.
26 Nov 2012, 3:48 pm
26 Nov 2012, 4:03 pm
26 Nov 2012, 4:27 pm
Thanks for the kind words... my boys mean the world to me, and even 3 years of painful separation hasn't stopped them from calling several times a day, still wanting bedtime stories, etc. My older boy and I are clones - seriously, I should just start calling him mini-me. 
When we do see each other in person, they latch on and don't let go until our time is up.
*sigh* The biggest detriment to my clone being kept away is he's really going to need my insight and guidance for the same Aspie problems *I* had at his age and beyond. He's at the age now where I started to notice I was a little... different from the other kids. He's got a chance of a better life than I had - but it'll be a lot easier if he starts NOW... his mom just refuses to believe Aspergers' is a real thing - in me OR him. 
I can never understand why some scum-bum men will run out on their own kids!
26 Nov 2012, 8:17 pm
WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,208
Location: California, United States
06 Dec 2012, 4:58 pm
06 Dec 2012, 5:06 pm
06 Dec 2012, 5:41 pm
| Similar Topics | |
|---|---|
| Uhhh Hey Guys I'm New |
29 Apr 2025, 2:37 pm |
| Yo Guys Is This Strange? |
07 May 2025, 9:13 am |
| Have any of you guys tried a period disc? |
20 Apr 2025, 12:05 am |
| Hey guys do not give into slum lords! |
18 Apr 2025, 3:48 pm |
