Unusual for men to not put much emphasis on looks?

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After much observing of some threads here and eavesdropping on conversations between boys at my college, I have noticed that, with both aspies and NT's, many men seem very picky when it comes to the physical characteristics of potential female romantic partners. It is, of course, a well-known stereotype, and a staple plot device of rom-coms, but does it seem to have some validity in practice?

Personally, it doesn't even cross my mind how someone looks, as long as the appearance is not indicative of controllable psychological phenomena (visible wrist cuts, visible wear-out from drugs and alcohol, or extreme obesity, for instance). It may be due to the media's insistence on bombarding us with pictures of pretty women, but my attention is just not sufficiently captivated when I see someone who simply looks "hot". But when I see someone who fits my desired personality traits, ambition and intelligence, I become interested if not enamored when I find someone even remotely fitting most or all of the characteristics. If I took the same person and changed hair or eye colors and added or subtracted body weight or height, it would have no effect on how desirable I see that person.

I don't even know if the presence or absence of a physical looks focus is an NT-aspie thing (it probably isn't), but it is still something I find intriguing. I don't know if the way romantic attraction works for me is rare or if the general stereotype/my general observation of others is just plain wrong. Any thoughts?

I'm personally not very looks focused either. I'd much rather find someone who I truly connected with emotionally and is average or below in appearance, than a supermodel that I have nothing in common with. Not to mention I've found that many of the "super-attractive" women are often highly superficial, and get by through life essentially on their looks alone. Not always the case, but all too frequently is. But that said, the one appearance quality that I am picky about is weight, I just don't find overweight women attractive at all (and by overweight I mean visible/protruding stomach or generally unhealthy looking, not just like a pound or two over the textbook definition). Not to mention, I try to live an active lifestyle and I doubt that most heavier people could keep up. No offense intended to any of the overweight people out there, just personal preference.

It does kind of surprise me when I find out just how appearance-focused some guys are...some even go to the extent of "I'll only go out with brunettes who have green eyes and are under 5'3". I guess it's evolution at its finest!

I can think of two reasons off the top of my head. One is based in evo psych: women didn't have much choice in who their partners were in the past. They were basically assigned a mate (either through arranged marriages or competition/force). Therefore, there'd be no need for women to have as discerning tastes in men as men (the choosers) do for women.

Another, and imo more likely, reason could be social conditioning. To put it simply, women are told they are valuable because of their appearance, men are told they are valuable because of their accomplishments. Naturally, men valuing women for looks and women valuing men for success goes hand in hand with that.

Of course, you'd do well to take my opinions with a grain of salt. I'm not an expert in either of those fields.

@Philosoraptor: Cool and creative username/avatar!

I think male sexuality is, usually, tied to the physical appeal of women. However, a few times I've been surprised to see okay-looking guys with less than attractive women. I say everyone is picky in some form or other, whether with looks or personality -- or even both!

Personally, I'm somewhere in between; while a very attractive woman with poor qualities may not win my heart, an "ugly" woman with a great personality may win my heart, but fail -- to put it bluntly-- to win a woody.

In certain cultures, women are now becoming as shallow and picky with looks as most men are. Look at South Korean culture, where young men are pressured to be 'metrosexuals'.

I was very picky until my mid twenties. My ideal was over 6ft, dark hair, light eyes, but id settle for two out of three. Most attractive guys I was interested in had fragile egos or were very narcissistic. Same goes for very attractive females. I got by on looks for a long time and it got me nowhere but trouble. Now I put less focus on appearance and let my natural beauty shine. When you love someone for their mind, it's hard to imagine being more attracted to anyone else. The things I find physically attractive now in my boyfriend I wouldn't have paid much attention to when I was younger. Now I'm more interested in emotional connection, sexual chemistry, and intellectual stimulation. And I require all three.
Usually people match up with those of similar levels of attractiveness; guys want something nice to look at and girls want pretty babies.
I watched a video that was studying human mating behavior. Two groups of 10 or so girls and guys had a number 1-10 on their foreheads, so they couldn't see their own numbers. The object was to match up with the highest number possible. Based on how they were treated they could figure out where they stood in the pool and the highs matched up with the highs, lows with lows.

I'll be honest that I know my "Requirements" as far as dating goes does impact my success every bit as much as my risk-averse nature.

But simply put I don't go into any relationship without one corner of an eye towards the future.. what if this works out really well and we are together for ages and have a family.. so in that regard I want some one who I feel I have a reasonable chance of still being attracted to in the decades to come.. and who will help me make an awesome looking family should we choose...

Being in the 110-180lb range (I'm 140), in the 5'4" - 5'10" range (I'm 5'10"), light coloured eyes (Blue, grey, green, hazel) and light hair.. is VERY important to me.. but just as importantly she needs to be non-religious, or agnostic.. and heavily into education and seeking knowledge as I want to spend the rest of my life with some one who I can have really good conversations with.. but who also understands that sometimes I just wanna sit and read a book and be left alone.