28 Feb 2013, 2:18 pm
hyperlexian wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
SINsister, i wouldn't ever start a romantic relationship with a stranger, so... i was talking about how to select an appropriate person to talk to out of existing acquaintances. i don't mind random interactions with strangers, but i'd never date one. it just isn't possible for me to get to know someone in a natural way if they are a unknown like that - i find it offputting and i am not attracted to strangers.
i don't have a lot of friends either, so i understand that issue. i had a lot more when i was younger. i met my boyfriend here on WrongPlanet.
uhhhhh no. different people are... different. people have varying degrees to which appearance is important, and even people who DO care a lot about appearance might prefer a different look than what you happen to like. it's not hypocritical if people have other criteria than you.
i don't have a lot of friends either, so i understand that issue. i had a lot more when i was younger. i met my boyfriend here on WrongPlanet.
Kurgan wrote:
Anyone that denies that it's at least somewhat based on physical appearance is a hypocrite.
uhhhhh no. different people are... different. people have varying degrees to which appearance is important, and even people who DO care a lot about appearance might prefer a different look than what you happen to like. it's not hypocritical if people have other criteria than you.
Hyperlexian, you're not getting it still, most of the people on these forums don't have acquaintances or friends as you put it. The only thing they can rely on in getting with another person is by meeting a stranger on the street or on a dating website.
and... where did i meet my boyfriend?
*cough* online. i didn't put down dating sites in the slightest (i've been on them myself), so don't put words in my mouth. i just would not date a stranger who approached me because i could not feel attracted to them. there are other places people can also safely meet, such as... volunteering, workplaces, clubs, religious groups, through family, etc. approaching random strangers might work for some people, but not everyone wants to do that (nor is it strictly necessary).
last i checked, you were bragging about all of the hundreds of friends and acquaintances you have (which i don't have...), so don't start lecturing me about what people on the site do or don't have in terms of social contacts.
So you've never dated someone from a dating website? or from a random approach?
28 Feb 2013, 2:20 pm
28 Feb 2013, 2:30 pm
Wolfheart wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
SINsister, i wouldn't ever start a romantic relationship with a stranger, so... i was talking about how to select an appropriate person to talk to out of existing acquaintances. i don't mind random interactions with strangers, but i'd never date one. it just isn't possible for me to get to know someone in a natural way if they are a unknown like that - i find it offputting and i am not attracted to strangers.
i don't have a lot of friends either, so i understand that issue. i had a lot more when i was younger. i met my boyfriend here on WrongPlanet.
uhhhhh no. different people are... different. people have varying degrees to which appearance is important, and even people who DO care a lot about appearance might prefer a different look than what you happen to like. it's not hypocritical if people have other criteria than you.
i don't have a lot of friends either, so i understand that issue. i had a lot more when i was younger. i met my boyfriend here on WrongPlanet.
Kurgan wrote:
Anyone that denies that it's at least somewhat based on physical appearance is a hypocrite.
uhhhhh no. different people are... different. people have varying degrees to which appearance is important, and even people who DO care a lot about appearance might prefer a different look than what you happen to like. it's not hypocritical if people have other criteria than you.
Hyperlexian, you're not getting it still, most of the people on these forums don't have acquaintances or friends as you put it. The only thing they can rely on in getting with another person is by meeting a stranger on the street or on a dating website.
and... where did i meet my boyfriend?
*cough* online. i didn't put down dating sites in the slightest (i've been on them myself), so don't put words in my mouth. i just would not date a stranger who approached me because i could not feel attracted to them. there are other places people can also safely meet, such as... volunteering, workplaces, clubs, religious groups, through family, etc. approaching random strangers might work for some people, but not everyone wants to do that (nor is it strictly necessary).
last i checked, you were bragging about all of the hundreds of friends and acquaintances you have (which i don't have...), so don't start lecturing me about what people on the site do or don't have in terms of social contacts.
So you've never dated someone from a dating website? or from a random approach?
yes, i've dated people from dating websites because i had an entire profile to read before i had any contact, as opposed to random approaches where the person is unknown. they are 2 different things. i have never dated a random person who approached me.
when i met people on dating sites, i would talk to them online for weeks or months before meeting up. i wanted to get to know them as well as possible first.
28 Feb 2013, 3:04 pm
MXH
Veteran
Joined: 28 Jul 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,057
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
28 Feb 2013, 3:11 pm
hyperlexian wrote:
and... where did i meet my boyfriend?
*cough* online. i didn't put down dating sites in the slightest (i've been on them myself), so don't put words in my mouth. I just would not date a stranger who approached me because I could not feel attracted to them. there are other places people can also safely meet, such as... volunteering, workplaces, clubs, religious groups, through family, etc. approaching random strangers might work for some people, but not everyone wants to do that (nor is it strictly necessary).
last i checked, you were bragging about all of the hundreds of friends and acquaintances you have (which i don't have...), so don't start lecturing me about what people on the site do or don't have in terms of social contacts.
I highlighted the problem in this convo. You keep talking about you, he isn't talking about you.
28 Feb 2013, 3:19 pm
MXH wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
and... where did i meet my boyfriend?
*cough* online. i didn't put down dating sites in the slightest (i've been on them myself), so don't put words in my mouth. I just would not date a stranger who approached me because I could not feel attracted to them. there are other places people can also safely meet, such as... volunteering, workplaces, clubs, religious groups, through family, etc. approaching random strangers might work for some people, but not everyone wants to do that (nor is it strictly necessary).
last i checked, you were bragging about all of the hundreds of friends and acquaintances you have (which i don't have...), so don't start lecturing me about what people on the site do or don't have in terms of social contacts.
I highlighted the problem in this convo. You keep talking about you, he isn't talking about you.
well exactly - he isn't attracted to people in the same way that i am, so he wouldn't necessarily want to meet people in the way that i do (nor would anyone else, depending how they work internally). i made it clear that i was talking about me - i didn't prescribe anything for anyone else here.
28 Feb 2013, 3:21 pm
28 Feb 2013, 3:30 pm
JanuaryMan wrote:
Maybe not lex but you're pretty much saying his scope on dating is invalidated because your personal experiences and preferences in the dating realm.
That is what you are doing.
That is what you are doing.
uhhhhhh no, i didn't say that. i said... 6 times now.... that there is a wide range of attraction. i do not speak for everyone, so i make it clear that people all over the map when i speak of things like this. Wolfheart and Kurgan, on the other hand, both said that people would be either lying or hypocritical if they did not date people based on physical attraction (at least partially). they seem to think that there can be no other way.
i had a separate conversation with SINsister where she asked me which people would be worth talking to if i don't judge primarily according to looks, and Wolfheart decided that i was somehow talking about how everyone else's dating experiences should be. i used statements specifically about myself, and i allowed for a broad range of experiences. at no point did i say that other people should not approach strangers to date.
hopefully you understand now, because it should be quite clear.
28 Feb 2013, 3:33 pm
28 Feb 2013, 3:37 pm
JanuaryMan wrote:
That makes more sense now. And I agree!
However uncommon, there are always other ways and other mindsets.
No offence caused I hope. I get lost half the time with a writer's true message in the looks threads specifically. In WP L&D these threads tend to deviate into 10-20 extra pages arguing 2-3 viewpoints with many resorting to picking at the semantics of each others posts.
However uncommon, there are always other ways and other mindsets.
No offence caused I hope. I get lost half the time with a writer's true message in the looks threads specifically. In WP L&D these threads tend to deviate into 10-20 extra pages arguing 2-3 viewpoints with many resorting to picking at the semantics of each others posts.
no, no offense at all. this thread is crazy! too many tangents and it's impossible to follow what anyone is really discussing. i think i'll bow out of the thread, though it's been a fun distraction
28 Feb 2013, 5:36 pm
What *I* learned from this thread is that it grows whenever I'm not looking...
(and it stops when I show up!)
28 Feb 2013, 5:40 pm
machf wrote:
What *I* learned from this thread is that it grows whenever I'm not looking...
(and it stops when I show up!)
(and it stops when I show up!)
HA!
28 Feb 2013, 5:59 pm
Kurgan wrote:
A gym is like a sanctuary. You should be allowed to grunt, swear and drop the weight when deadlifting there.
If it's a real lifting gym, sure. If it's a retirement home with Nautilus equipment (like the "fitness and wellness" facility where I worked up until a couple of weeks ago), on the other hand, the grunting and swearing probably should be curtailed slightly...
28 Feb 2013, 6:06 pm
I actually agree with hyperlexian. I'm personally more interested in dating men with a great personality than men with great looks.
I just looked this up and this guy says that high hormone levels in both men and women cause them to have more attractive features. It also causes them to be attracted to those with attractive features. In other words, hot people like hot people because of hormones??? It all makes sense now
28 Feb 2013, 6:12 pm
deltafunction wrote:
I actually agree with hyperlexian. I'm personally more interested in dating men with a great personality than men with great looks.
Hehe - I guess I'm greedy then - I want both. Wait, no - I'm actually really greedy. I want BRAINS, too. Mmmmmmmm!
Brains're more important than personality, for me (and almost more important than looks, but not quite).
28 Feb 2013, 6:16 pm
deltafunction wrote:
I actually agree with hyperlexian. I'm personally more interested in dating men with a great personality than men with great looks.
I just looked this up and this guy says that high hormone levels in both men and women cause them to have more attractive features. It also causes them to be attracted to those with attractive features. In other words, hot people like hot people because of hormones??? It all makes sense now
I just looked this up and this guy says that high hormone levels in both men and women cause them to have more attractive features. It also causes them to be attracted to those with attractive features. In other words, hot people like hot people because of hormones???
It all makes sense nowSo you would date someone you had no physical or sexual attraction towards il them but had a great personality?
