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What to do...

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ShyChristianGirl
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13 Mar 2013, 1:44 am

If you know that you're in love with someone and they seem like they could also possibly be interested in you too, but then they're always too busy with work and other things and they're not even around much. Then what do you do? Try to wait for them until they become unbusy or just try and forget them and find someone else? But you're in love with them. So how could you just forget them and be with someone else and then the one you love becomes more available?



TheValk
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13 Mar 2013, 2:27 am

Busy people also prioritise love life somewhere high up in their hierarchy of values. I wouldn't think of "what if" too much if I were you. Sometimes you do decide to pursue a romantic interest and find nothing but a world of hurt. You can never predict what will happen, but you can be attentive to the present to not find yourself in situations you will later regret. What if the person is already in love with someone? What if they will date somebody if you don't act fast enough? I can think of situations where waiting can lead to good results, but better not waste your time and check if the person is willing to date immediately.



ShyChristianGirl
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13 Mar 2013, 3:49 am

TheValk wrote:
Busy people also prioritise love life somewhere high up in their hierarchy of values. I wouldn't think of "what if" too much if I were you. Sometimes you do decide to pursue a romantic interest and find nothing but a world of hurt. You can never predict what will happen, but you can be attentive to the present to not find yourself in situations you will later regret. What if the person is already in love with someone? What if they will date somebody if you don't act fast enough? I can think of situations where waiting can lead to good results, but better not waste your time and check if the person is willing to date immediately.


He knows how I feel about him, because last month I asked him if he would ever ask me out and then he's like "I might. Why do you ask?" Then I tell him that I might say yes if he asked and then he asked if I was falling in love with him. So I said maybe since I had thought about it for a month and then I ask him how he feels about me. So he said that he liked me a lot. Then I asked him did he feel the same way about me like I did him. So then he's like "My feelings are all over the place right now. Just relax, okay?" Then he tells me to wait until at least this month of March when it was last month that I told him how I felt. So I don't know if he really meant what he said or what's going on here. I'm confused. He did say that it made him really happy that I liked him more then just a friend and he thinks that he could too and he always acts really chummy with me. I just don't understand why he doesn't get in contact with me much or at least text me back or something. He always tells me that he's just really busy with work, errands or other stuff. Is that even a good excuse? Oh and he said that he hadn't found anyone else though when I asked him last time.



redrobin62
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13 Mar 2013, 4:10 am

Hi Shy Christian Girl. I feel bad for you in a way because he might actually be looking for someone, and after a certain time has passed, he might contact you because "you'll do." That's not a good position to me in. He'll drop you like a hot potato the minute he finds "someone better." He'll end up using you for whatever he wants then cast you aside like a dish towel. He's not interested in you. I say just move on and find someone else. I'm writing this based on what you've outlined, by the way.


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uwmonkdm
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13 Mar 2013, 4:48 am

There's no reason for anyone to take a guess at what he wants, or why he doesn't want a relationship etc etc.
I live by this motto: If someone wants to make time for something, they will.
There's no way he's busy 24/7, he's not the CEO of an international corporation or something.
He's probably sitting at home playing Call of Duty or something an hour or two out of the day, watching sports.. whatever.
Just move on, you deserve someone who is just as interested/in love as you are.



The_Face_of_Boo
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13 Mar 2013, 5:10 am

ShyChristianGirl wrote:
TheValk wrote:
Busy people also prioritise love life somewhere high up in their hierarchy of values. I wouldn't think of "what if" too much if I were you. Sometimes you do decide to pursue a romantic interest and find nothing but a world of hurt. You can never predict what will happen, but you can be attentive to the present to not find yourself in situations you will later regret. What if the person is already in love with someone? What if they will date somebody if you don't act fast enough? I can think of situations where waiting can lead to good results, but better not waste your time and check if the person is willing to date immediately.


He knows how I feel about him, because last month I asked him if he would ever ask me out and then he's like "I might. Why do you ask?" Then I tell him that I might say yes if he asked and then he asked if I was falling in love with him. So I said maybe since I had thought about it for a month and then I ask him how he feels about me. So he said that he liked me a lot. Then I asked him did he feel the same way about me like I did him. So then he's like "My feelings are all over the place right now. Just relax, okay?" Then he tells me to wait until at least this month of March when it was last month that I told him how I felt. So I don't know if he really meant what he said or what's going on here. I'm confused. He did say that it made him really happy that I liked him more then just a friend and he thinks that he could too and he always acts really chummy with me. I just don't understand why he doesn't get in contact with me much or at least text me back or something. He always tells me that he's just really busy with work, errands or other stuff. Is that even a good excuse? Oh and he said that he hadn't found anyone else though when I asked him last time.


How often do you text him? Normal or in obsessive way?



TheValk
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13 Mar 2013, 5:53 am

It might also be the case that he's too polite to refuse and doesn't want to hurt your feelings by rejection. That's the impression I've got out of it personally.



ShyChristianGirl
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15 Mar 2013, 12:30 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
ShyChristianGirl wrote:
TheValk wrote:
Busy people also prioritise love life somewhere high up in their hierarchy of values. I wouldn't think of "what if" too much if I were you. Sometimes you do decide to pursue a romantic interest and find nothing but a world of hurt. You can never predict what will happen, but you can be attentive to the present to not find yourself in situations you will later regret. What if the person is already in love with someone? What if they will date somebody if you don't act fast enough? I can think of situations where waiting can lead to good results, but better not waste your time and check if the person is willing to date immediately.


He knows how I feel about him, because last month I asked him if he would ever ask me out and then he's like "I might. Why do you ask?" Then I tell him that I might say yes if he asked and then he asked if I was falling in love with him. So I said maybe since I had thought about it for a month and then I ask him how he feels about me. So he said that he liked me a lot. Then I asked him did he feel the same way about me like I did him. So then he's like "My feelings are all over the place right now. Just relax, okay?" Then he tells me to wait until at least this month of March when it was last month that I told him how I felt. So I don't know if he really meant what he said or what's going on here. I'm confused. He did say that it made him really happy that I liked him more then just a friend and he thinks that he could too and he always acts really chummy with me. I just don't understand why he doesn't get in contact with me much or at least text me back or something. He always tells me that he's just really busy with work, errands or other stuff. Is that even a good excuse? Oh and he said that he hadn't found anyone else though when I asked him last time.


How often do you text him? Normal or in obsessive way?


Well at first I was texting him every day for about a month until I just decided to stop lately since I know that it won't do me any good and since he should really be the one texting me a lot instead of me always texting him. So I know I don't even do it much anymore.



ShyChristianGirl
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15 Mar 2013, 12:34 am

redrobin62 wrote:
Hi Shy Christian Girl. I feel bad for you in a way because he might actually be looking for someone, and after a certain time has passed, he might contact you because "you'll do." That's not a good position to me in. He'll drop you like a hot potato the minute he finds "someone better." He'll end up using you for whatever he wants then cast you aside like a dish towel. He's not interested in you. I say just move on and find someone else. I'm writing this based on what you've outlined, by the way.


Well that is what my ex boy friend done to me in my last relationship I believe, but I don't know about this other guy. He seemed a lot nicer though I hope I'm not wrong. I always think someone is really nice in the beginning when they're not and always end up getting hurt.



ShyChristianGirl
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15 Mar 2013, 12:41 am

Now I'm starting to think that he does have a bit of a crush on me and he really likes me a lot, but is not ready for anything serious. Two months ago he said that we didn't know each other enough for anything like that. He just said that when we got to know each other more and if I was single that yes he would want to date me. He even told me that he wasn't interested in me like that at the time. That's when I was still with my ex boy friend though. I wasn't going to leave him for him and I never cheated. My boy friend was the one that left me for someone else.



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18 Mar 2013, 7:35 am

If someone is in love with you, that person will find the way to be with you, no matter how busy, because when you are in love you feel you cannot live without the object of your affection. Nowadays are plenty ways of keeping in touch: phone, email, messages... If he is "always busy" probably he is not as interested in you as you thing. Probably he is just avoiding you.



ShyChristianGirl
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18 Mar 2013, 11:21 pm

I used to see him around a lot more like 2 months ago and before that. Then he just started to all of a sudden get really busy and I wouldn't hear from him in like 2 weeks or so. That started before he even found out that I was falling in love with him. So I just don't get it. Now its already been past 2 weeks since like the beginning of this month that I've heard from him. I try to send him a message on Facebook telling him that I miss him and everything. All it shows is that he reads them, but he doesn't say anything back. Then sometimes after a couple of more days like in the past when he read my messages. He will get in contact with me after a while, still acting all chummy with me. So I thought that he may be avoiding me too, but I just don't know weather to believe that or not because then when I start to act like he doesn't care about me. He said that it hurts him and act like I should know better.



Ilka
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19 Mar 2013, 3:55 pm

Not hearing from someone in 2 weeks seems like a lot. He cannot be THAT busy that he cannot respond your messages. In case he is, he can always send you a message telling you he is busy and he will contact you later. If I was you and would move on with my life.You cannot just stay there waiting for him... specially if there is nothing solid going on between you two. Next time he feels "hurt" ask him about his feelings for you. See what he says...