Why do this?

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Can anyone explain to me the logic of a person you've seen in the past and have blocked via email, phoning you up to see if they can see you again and talking about how they had a nightmare about their ex girlfriend; how she seems to be haunting them. When I enquire about their relationship it seems it ended without closure as she said she just wanted to be on her own and it wasn't him. So he more or less admits he's found this hard to come to terms with and it still bothers him.

How on earth would this be a good way of getting anyone back on side ie talking about your ex in a manner that makes it perfectly clear you aren't over the break up?! How f-king insensitive can a person be?!

It's clear he was thinking of himself and his emotions and never took the time to think how you might feel. It's all too common.

I agree

Yet if I make the merest mention of speaking to another male he doesn't like it at all and says he doesn't want to listen to it!

I agree

Yet if I make the merest mention of speaking to another male he doesn't like it at all and says he doesn't want to hear about it.

In my opinion, this person thinks that:

a) You'll throw him a pity party and he'll have someone to complain to who will hear him out and comfort him.

b) You'll throw a pity party for him and he'll be able to entice some pity sex, pity dating, etc, out of you.

Take the validity of his story with a grain of salt. Note how he only got back in touch with you when he was feeling bad, happily discussed his problem with you, and the problem itself means that there's (in theory) potential between you two again.

Yes, he's always trying to make me feel sorry for him

In the past I've given and lent him money but this stopped abruptly when I lent him £100 and have not had any of it back yet

I've told him the only way he's getting an invite to my house again is if he brings repayment of the money he still owes me

I thought this reference to the ex was partly a pity play and partly a way of winding me up as he knows I've got the control in this situation. He knows how much it wound me up when he talked about how wonderful she was before!

He's an idiot if he thinks this is going to change my mind about anything!

I wouldn't talk to him further if I were you. Attention is attention to some people and any attention is an opportunity to wind someone up.

I had blocked him by email so I tried this for 2 weeks then he phoned me up on Saturday

He knows I still like him but I'm sick of his disregard for my feelings. He'll say he loves me but that things can't develop when I keep going off on one and blocking him etc but the reason I do this is because he does things like borrow money and not pay it back and a lot of other hurtful things that he will dismiss as nothing but which have hurt me a lot!

He does a mind trick on me whereby I know instinctively that he's no good but he also makes me feel he's someone I want.

To be blunt, he's a grade-a as*hole.

I'd chalk that £100 up as a loss, never let him anywhere near you again and block his phone number and keep it blocked.

I don't think you need the drama or his BS.

This is the opinion of everyone else I've told about him

This person will only drain your energy. Lose them.

You're right

After his phone call I felt physically ill - mainly because I hadn't had a chance to eat my breakfast and take my anti-depressant as he was talking for so long! He gets free phone calls so just before each hour is up he phones back again and I think he would literally go on talking forever if given the chance! I run out of conversational topics far earlier and then feel awkward.
Then when I am talking about soemthing he will interject with sexual inuendos as if he's not even interested in what I'm saying.
He seemed to think that just because I'd cut contact for 2 weeks there might be someone else as he says 'is there something you're not telling me?' Seeing as he always stated it was jsut a friends with benefits scenario I find this highly ironic! ie so what if there had been? what's it to him? (not that there had been)

Also a twitch I get under my eye sometimes came back, so he definitely has a bad effect on me!

He friendzoned you.

By my understanding being 'friendzoned' means the person doesn't want sex with you

This person wants nothing BUT sex, under the auspices of friendship but he isn't even a friend
as far as I'm concerned as he is incapable of providing any support

Don't underestimate the gender factor.

If the friendzoner is female then your definition is usually the case, if he's male and single then it's very likely he wouldn't mind having sex with the friendzonee. I bet if you offer free sex to your single male friends then many would be willing to take it.

'Friendzoned' for guys usually means the person doesn't want loving relationship with you, sex is another matter. Not wanting to have sex with you would be the 'repulsive zone'.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 07 May 2013, 6:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

Well I'm not interested in anything with him

He says he loves me but his actions demonstrate the opposite

If he wasn't interested in a relationship why risk the Love word?

I said he only wants me for sex and he said it's more than that

hardly anything more though

the person I live with doesn't want sex (we used to be in a relationship) but that is due to him having a low sex drive and not liking the stress that goes with a relationship so this 'repulsive zone' thing isn't accurate

You are making males who get friendzoned feel bad saying this as I'd say it holds the same for men and women but I would never use a word like 'repulsive'

People show their characters via the words they use