height in dating
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
There is nobody who has a right to tell me that I cannot be prejudiced in my personal life equally you cannot demand people to be prejudiced in their personal life.
What you can do and what is acceptable is to demand no prejudice policy in societal and cultural setting, so that people cannot be discriminated against when applying for jobs and schools, but what people choose to do and think in their private right must always be their prerogative.
If someone feels they dislike white or asian or autistic people or whatever, that is their inviolable right.
If someone feels they dislike me on the basis of my gender or my skin colour or my religion or my culture or whatever, I will not be demanding that they change their thinking and marry me forthwith, I will bid them good day and best of luck in finding what they are looking for and hope that the society constrains them from causing harm to others on the basis of their prejudice.
As they say, many of best friends are short people..
So me and the other user were right after all, it's all projection from your side.
regards,
So me and the other user were right after all, it's all projection from your side.
regards,
Oh I am so sorry! Did you think that just because I have this opinion, all short guys in the world were never going to have a chance with taller girls again?
I took pains to point out that this is very much my own personal opinion and preference over and over. When did I say it wasn't a projection from my side?
I'm now completely doubting the sanity of this conversation.
I think the reason i'm single is not because i'm short, its because I have Aspergers and that limits my ability to approach women and have good social skills. I'm a pretty shy guy and its hard for me to talk to girls.
My size bothers me the most when i'm playing basketbal because no one ever passes me the ball simply because i'm a shrimp. And then they pass to the 6 ft 3 guy who can't hit the broad side of a barn. I used to practice a lot but still no one ever passed me the ball, and its frustrating. Thats why I used to get so mad when I played basketball. If you're a 5 ft 2 guy, you have to be a lot better than average in order for people to give you respect. If you're a 6 ft 2 guy, you can be below average and still get passed the ball simply because you're big.
Thats where my size bothers me most, in sports.
yeah that sucks.
try being a woman. they often don't pass you the ball because they are annoyed with something completely unrelated to the game at hand.
I played basketball with guys when I was younger. When you show that you can consistently make 3point shots you will be get the ball all the time (in my experience)
Edit: just want to add that some of basketball is down the aesthetics as well. sometimes we pass to ball to someone not just to get the score, but because they execute the shot beautifully, and it is pleasant to watch.
Maybe I'm biased because I'm taller than most girls but I have much shorter friends who seem to be just as successful dating girls (including taller girls).
Have to agree.
I find that girls who initiate contact with me on dating sites tend to be overweight (some obese) or just plain unattractive. Girls often say that I'm cute. But I'm only 5'6". I think that has something to do with the quality I'm attracting on dating sites (apart from the fact that dating sites tend to be sausage fests). Guys on dating sites tend to add a couple inches to their real height on their profile. I don't lie about my height. That puts me at a further disadvantage. With the way that 5'10" guys pretend to be 6 feet tall, I should just put 5'8" as my height on OKCupid and POF honestly. But I don't want to be caught in a lie (even though it seems like everybody does it).
Now guys are expected to be the ones who pursue. So it could just be that the cuter, in-demand girls that also think I'm cute are unlikely to message me first on dating sites. I've messaged some girls before who have told me in their first reply or later on that I'm cute/handsome/attractive/a hottie. If you are a short guy, your best bet is to go for short girls. However even a lot of short 5 foot nothing girls that I tower over want tall guys. It's ridiculous. If the girl is overweight (especially obese) or otherwise unattractive, you might attract girls that are even a bit taller than you. A girl's looks are a big part of the equation as well A 5'1" spinner hottie is in high demand so she can select for 5'10"+ guys exclusively if that's her sexual preference. And a lot of those girls want 6 feet and above even. But I've had homely 5'7" and 5'8" girls message me. The 5'8" girl went on two dates with me. A slightly overweight but very pretty 5'7" girl said that I was cute. A minority of tall girls are ok with dating short guys (even if he's shorter than her).
I'm chatting right now with a 5'1" curvy redhead (who initiated contact with me). A female friend of mine is of the opinion that giving her a 5/10 in looks would be generous. But she was looking at a bad picture of her. The redhead seems rather chatty and she took the initiative to message me first, seems like a nice girl and there are aspects of her physical appearance that are attractive. I'm hoping that she grows on me or even looks better in-person. Looks do matter. But being short, introverted, lacking in a lot of worldly experiences for my age (relatively) and likely AUTISTIC, I might not be able to land a girlfriend that is on my level looks-wise. I might have to date down in that department so as long as she's nice, we get along, enjoy each others' company and enjoy the sex (yes that aspect matters in a relationship). I resent the fact that women get to date up easily while autistic and/or highly introverted guys are often forced to date down. But it is what it is. I'll ask her on a date and see how it goes one step at a time.
Now guys are expected to be the ones who pursue. So it could just be that the cuter, in-demand girls that also think I'm cute are unlikely to message me first on dating sites. I've messaged some girls before who have told me in their first reply or later on that I'm cute/handsome/attractive/a hottie. If you are a short guy, your best bet is to go for short girls. However even a lot of short 5 foot nothing girls that I tower over want tall guys. It's ridiculous. If the girl is overweight (especially obese) or otherwise unattractive, you might attract girls that are even a bit taller than you. A girl's looks are a big part of the equation as well A 5'1" spinner hottie is in high demand so she can select for 5'10"+ guys exclusively if that's her sexual preference. And a lot of those girls want 6 feet and above even. But I've had homely 5'7" and 5'8" girls message me. The 5'8" girl went on two dates with me. A slightly overweight but very pretty 5'7" girl said that I was cute. A minority of tall girls are ok with dating short guys (even if he's shorter than her).
I'm chatting right now with a 5'1" curvy redhead (who initiated contact with me). A female friend of mine is of the opinion that giving her a 5/10 in looks would be generous. But she was looking at a bad picture of her. The redhead seems rather chatty and she took the initiative to message me first, seems like a nice girl and there are aspects of her physical appearance that are attractive. I'm hoping that she grows on me or even looks better in-person. Looks do matter. But being short, introverted, lacking in a lot of worldly experiences for my age (relatively) and likely AUTISTIC, I might not be able to land a girlfriend that is on my level looks-wise. I might have to date down in that department so as long as she's nice, we get along, enjoy each others' company and enjoy the sex (yes that aspect matters in a relationship). I resent the fact that women get to date up easily while autistic and/or highly introverted guys are often forced to date down. But it is what it is. I'll ask her on a date and see how it goes one step at a time.
extra weight can be lost, however can someone please tell me how this rating system works? And how do you know what number you are, i.e. what is on your level looks wise? I've often liked guys that I think are out of my league in the past although looking back that was mostly to do with popularity rather than looks. I completely do not get this rating system. Is there a rule book? Obviously being overweight counts it down, but then you could be really slim but less attractive than someone just slightly overweight, in both sexes. Gaaah It maketh no sense
can someone please tell me how this rating system works? And how do you know what number you are, i.e. what is on your level looks wise?
Men judge women by:
Looks(1-10)
Personality
Women judge men by: (in order of preference)
Looks (1-10)
Social skills
How much money he makes/what type of job he has
How many friends he has (most of the time)
Most of the time you can't give yourself a number because you are different to every man or woman. But you do get frustrated when you can't attract the types of mates that you're attracted to. A person needs to ask them self why that is?
The most common denominator is:
The mates that you're attracted to, many other people are attracted to also. This leaves them many options and they can be picky about whatever they want because they know that there is a line of men or women waiting for them to date.
This leaves the people in line waiting for the attractive person competing for the next best man or woman, settling to be single, or choosing somebody they aren't really attracted to.
Feenie suggested that overweight women are unattractive in this thread, billiscool mentioned it in the adult section thread. I went as far as offering to show you links to studies that overweight women are less desirable than healthier skinnier women.
Do you see how the more options a person has the more manupalitive they can be or do you still fail to see this?
can someone please tell me how this rating system works? And how do you know what number you are, i.e. what is on your level looks wise?
Men judge women by:
Looks(1-10)
Personality
Women judge men by: (in order of preference)
Looks (1-10)
Social skills
How much money he makes/what type of job he has
How many friends he has (most of the time)
Most of the time you can't give yourself a number because you are different to every man or woman. But you do get frustrated when you can't attract the types of mates that you're attracted to. A person needs to ask them self why that is?
The most common denominator is:
The mates that you're attracted to, many other people are attracted to also. This leaves them many options and they can be picky about whatever they want because they know that there is a line of men or women waiting for them to date.
This leaves the people in line waiting for the attractive person competing for the next best man or woman, settling to be single, or choosing somebody they aren't really attracted to.
Feenie suggested that overweight women are unattractive in this thread, billiscool mentioned it in the adult section thread. I went as far as offering to show you links to studies that overweight women are less desirable than healthier skinnier women.
Do you see how the more options a person has the more manupalitive they can be or do you still fail to see this?
Thank you for trying to explain the rating system but that still doesn't really explain it to me. What is a 3 or a 5 or an 8 or a 10 in both male and female terms? Also, women very much rate men based on their personality as well.
I don't see why anyone has to be manipulative? Are you sure you wanted to use that particular word?
Someone could be a 10 by everyone's standards but if they cannot meet potential partners that they consider 10 - what use are the good looks to them?
Personally, I really don't see the point of a rating system.
The minute I would see a person as a number, the minute they would disappear as a person and I wouldn't be interested. It would diminish everything too much for me.
I've never seen or rated anyone in terms of a number.
Maybe it's useful to some. I'm not sure how, though. I think it closes doors and takes people away from what they like - all of a sudden, they're in this race to get the best number they can?
The minute I would see a person as a number, the minute they would disappear as a person and I wouldn't be interested. It would diminish everything too much for me.
I've never seen or rated anyone in terms of a number.
Maybe it's useful to some. I'm not sure how, though. I think it closes doors and takes people away from what they like - all of a sudden, they're in this race to get the best number they can?
exactly. Numbers lead to objectification. Objectification leads to lack of respect. Lack of respect leads to suffering.
Thus spake AsperYoda
I really quite like the whole looking up thing. A very tall friend of mine made me laugh once when he give me a hug and I stood on my tiptoes to hug him back and he said 'Why does everyone always do that, you don't need to do that I will come down to you' but I felt really sad that he made me stand down as I really liked the sensation of standing on tiptoes to be hugged.
Kjas
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Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,059
Location: the place I'm from doesn't exist anymore
That's nitpicking though. The real point is that It shows that height is not an issue if you don't let it be an issue.
I just looked at a group photo. Apparently I was wrong. Two of them are 5'2. The other is 5'0.
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Diagnostic Tools and Resources for Women with AS: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt211004.html
I agree that an overweight girl can beat a skinny or average weight girl in looks. I have found a number of overweight (but not obese) girls very sexually attractive. If she has a nice face, this can make up for a lot. Bonus points if she has nice curves too. The redhead I'm talking to has very large breasts and looks nice in a dress. If she was facially attractive, I would have been fine with her body. The thing is that the cute overweight but curvy gals do have a lot of demand from men. I used to genuinely enjoy flirting with overweight but curvy girls. Because I know that they are insecure and they need to hear that reassurance from men that they are sexy. But if those girls are not sleeping with me and would rather have Mr. Tall Athletic Alpha Male, I lose all sympathy for those women when they feel insecure about their weight. If you don't like it when guys overlook you because of your weight, how do you think I feel as a short man who is overlooked for his height? When I actually adore curvy women. But it pisses me off when these girls think they are hot s**t now because of the "real women have curves" movement and then they hook up with Mr. Tall Alpha Male and want to get into a relationship with him, only to be pumped and dumped. And then they pass on the short nice guy who wants to treat her like a Queen. But the short nice guy realizes that it's a suckers game to be nice to a girl when she'll never return his affections.
I am affectionate with dogs because I know that they will return my affections. Dogs are very friendly animals and fiercely loyal and appreciative. A lot of people say that nice guys are not real nice guys because they expect something in return for their kindness? Who wouldn't? I have no reason to be extra nice to a girl (compared to the overall level of decency I'd give to anyone else) until she proves herself worthy of that kind of treatment. A woman does not deserve to be doted on just because she's pretty and graces you with her presence.
