height in dating

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My mom died of cancer over the summer. Think before you say something (kinda hard for people on the spectrum to do. I know). When you introduce family into this, you may be speaking about someone who is no longer with us.

Last edited by feenie on 12 Oct 2013, 9:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

Oh dear!

What about the comments others have made in response to feenie? Do you consider any of their points to be valid?

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

Some of this isn't even Aspergers makes you a jerk issues, some of this is just being a jerk issue.

Very sorry for your loss feenie, but I still have no sympathy for your attitude towards women. However, if the two are related, maybe counseling could help?


You may be suprised to hear that even tall athletic alpha dudes and really cool intellectual dudes etc are still not immune from this kind of objectification-of-women thinking which is why I wouldn't date any of them in the future.

However.

Going back to the Aspergers issue. The objectification of people in general may very well Asperger issue.

I invite the other contributors to say if they see other people as providers of functions or in some other way?

For example: someone you call a friend, do you feel like you connect with them on some sort of deeper level and it is mutual and understood or is it more like you exchange favours with eachother (including conversation and just hanging out).

I know from my own personal experience that I find it really difficult to connect with other people in the way NTs seem to do and this has caused problems in my past relationships because people just keep telling me that I don't let them in. Whatever that means. I am wondering if other people have the same problem?

Girls are like a bag of M&M's. They're all different colors on the outside but on the inside they're all the same.

I don't believe that women deserve respect based on how they look. In fact I have been pretty much railing against that in this thread. How men hopelessly white knight pretty girls who smile and say hi to him. It is of no surprise then that most women are of the mentality that their presence is their gift to men and don't really want to work too hard to win the affections of a man. I have continued that conversation with the short curvy girl. And she is not like that at all with me. But do you think that she'd be that eager to converse with me if she didn't think I was cute? Would she treat an overweight, facially unattractive guy the same way even though she herself is overweight and facially unattractive? (She looks pretty in some of her pics. Has the potential to look sexy if she was more confident in her sexuality. I want to keep an open-mind. and take her out on a date and see how it goes). Honestly I think she should reject me for a less attractive guy. Because the less attractive guy will appreciate her more. Women are hypergamous by nature. She is nice to me in a way that girls on my level looks-wise or hotter usually aren't because the primal part of her brain seeks to mate with a man that will give her more attractive offspring.

A woman's natural preference is not to look at her level but to look up. Instinctually, women want to mate with top-tier men. And then when she figures out that she can't tie down a man above her station, she settles for a guy at her level. A man who doesn't turn her on. And then she will resent him for being a beta male and will likely cheat on him with an alpha or two on the side while in a relationship or married with the beta. And then eventually divorce the beta and clean him out financially.

That's not to say that women are any worse than men. Women are just better able to act on their primal desires in today's post-pill post-feminist sexual revolution society. Women are b*****s and most guys are nice guys because women can afford to be b*****s and most men can't afford to be a**holes. If the dating game wasn't slanted so much in a woman's favour, more men would be a**holes. Like me. Women are hypergamous and emphasize quality over quantity. Men are polygamous and emphasize variety. While most women are able to indulge in sex with alpha males (because guys are horn dogs who will have sex with anything with a vagina and pulse), most men have a lot of difficulty getting laid and can't satisfy their polygamous impulses. Only the alpha males can. Most men, the beta males, have no choice but to resort to serial monogamy to get sex and they have to work hard to win over a mate on top of that.

All interactions with people are transactional. That's the way of the world. I could see a prostitute practically any time I want. So I see no reason to white knight girls and show desperation. A woman has to make it clear that she likes me before I can go the extra mile for her. I have been burned way too many times before going the extra mile for a girl and being taken advantage of for that kindness.

Last edited by feenie on 12 Oct 2013, 9:58 am, edited 2 times in total.

By that logic you are merely completing a transaction with this girl you are speaking to. What is it you are doing for her and you expect in return? By the sounds of it since you brought up prostitution I get the feeling you see this "short, curvy woman" as a means of prostitution for your good nature. Am I correct in thinking this or is there some other logical explanation to justify this that hasn't been shared yet?

Edit: Typo fixed.

Last edited by JanuaryMan on 12 Oct 2013, 9:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

Actually, this may come as a shock, but girls are people too.

I know

Okay then girls are like guys without a Y chromosome

Feenie, I agree with just about everything you said.

The only thing I don't agree with is that a lot of men prefer quality women over quantity. That's why fat women have a low value like you said and can't afford to be b*****s like the women that are in demand.

Everything else you've said is spot on.

BE NICE TO PEOPLE BECAUSE THAT IS THE RIGHT WAY TO BEHAVE IN SOCIETY AND AS AN INDIVIDUAL.
.. not just because you want something from them. If you have that attitude all you will attract is other users and manipulators.

smile

see the world as a happy place

you create the world with your thoughts, choose the good thoughts to create a good world

I do, definitely. I still don't know exactly what they mean by 'letting them in'. I don't treat interactions with people as a transaction, though. It's a give and take sort of deal, and I'm not good with the giving part.

Yes I do see my interaction with her as transactional. Even if she doesn't want kids (I don't know if she does or not yet), the primal part of her brain wants me to get her pregnant. I'm like 3 points above her on the looks scale. It's the Sexy Son hypothesis (yes there is a theory that is actually called that). Women want to mate with a sexy man so that he will give her sexy children (hence "Sexy Son hypothesis") to ensure the survival of her DNA in future generations. I had sex on the first date with a girl who must have been like 5-6 points below me on the scale. And she became obsessed with me. Wanting to go on dates with me every other day or even every day. And she always wanted sex after every date. She did date guys who weren't as attractive as me after I was done with her. But the guys she saw were always more attractive than her. Guys have such low standards for who they sleep with (heck even often times date to an extent. Which is shocking). So it's incredibly easy for a woman to get used to a certain standard above her level. And because women have hypergamous impulses, they can't help but want that higher standard.

As for what I'm getting out of it? It's a breath of fresh air when a girl is eager to talk with me. But at the end of the day, deep down, she subconsciously wants my semen and to make a commitment to her so that I'll be around to help raise our babies. That's what dating, love and sex is. There's nothing poetic about it. And even though she's not what I am looking for physically necessarily, I think she could ignite my sexual desire and romantic side potentially. It's worth going on a date with her to see if chemistry can happen. I'm sick of all the BS involved with dating. And have semi-retired from dating. But I keep having this hope that things will be different if I meet "the right girl". She might be the right girl if I force myself to be more open-minded (but my more rational-logical aspie brain says that no one is the right girl. I'm just not wired for relationships. Commitment scares me. And most women want kids too. That doesn't help because I don't want kids). But I resent the fact that women don't have this same desire to give a guy a chance either. Modern western women have been told throughout their lives "Because you are worth it (TM)." Which gives them free reign to give in to their hypergamous impulses.

I think as an Aspie with a constant desire for introspection and analysis, I secretly wish that life had more meaning than just survival and reproduction. But that is basically what it boils down to. So I might as well live by hedonist principles and maximize pleasure and reduce suffering as much as I can while I'm on this earth.

If she saw what you wrote, there's a good chance she'd beat you til you were 10 points below her on your imaginary scale.

I am having a headache.

Did you forget your morning coffee, Boo?

Wait... do you drink coffee? *clueless American*