I guess this is the best place for my question!

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I remember doing the 2. The Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ) test (Baron-Cohen et al., 2001). before my diagnosis. Sandy my female frend also did the test.

We both scored 31 while answering the questions differently. I was diagnosed Aspergers about 3 weeks later, while Sandy refuses to do it.

I just did the test again and scored 32. So it seems consistant.

MIL has agreed to tell wife tomorrow night after dinner tomorrow night. A bit nervous. I think my wife is going to take it better than my mother in law.

Good luck!

Fwiw, I agree. I think your MIL is likely a lot more anxious about it than your wife's potential negative response may be. Heck, for all we know your wife figured this out on her own years ago & is self aware. Not likely, but it's possible. Regardless, her reaction to it will likely be a lot more positive, or at least not nearly as negative, as you guys worry it may be.

Please do post a follow up and let us know how it goes. I'm particularly interested because I'm awaiting my closest friend reading the 20 pager I wrote to inform him of his own ASD traits & more. I know it's apples to oranges, but it'd still be relieving to read about someone else' favourable response to being informed as I continue to wait for his reaction.

So it went basically like I thought. MIL emoted all over the place and wife shrugged it off as "I'm obviously not that bad now, we just don't communicate with *each other*."

What was more interesting was the paper work. We have 30 year old paper eval from the state. And she was listed as high level autistic. The behavior they listed is *exactly* what my young daughter is doing. After a year of therapy my wife was discharged as "near normal." Makes me wonder if they just didn't tell the difference between sensory processing disorder and autism.

It seems to have gone well, all things considered. My daughter will still have to be tested.

Glad to hear that.

Sounds like your wife reacted in as good a way as one could hope!

Makes me smile at the thought of my friend's reaction when he finally reads what I've told him about his own AS traits. I saw him yesterday and there was the perfect opportunity to remind him to read the 20 page "book," I wrote and gave him 5 months ago. I think he's finally going to get around to reading it sooner rather than later & at this point I'm no longer feeling nervous about his reaction, but am more excited about it and finally being able to talk about it with him and his family. Hopefully it all goes as smoothly as it seems things are going to go for you.

To Goldfish21; I think most Aspies are litteral people, so it would simply be information to him. The rare one will rebel and deny.

NT's however are far more emotional and it would feel like an attack against them. So whatever reaction he has will be a good tell-tail sign as to wheather he's NT or Aspie. At the same time, he could just have Aspie traits, but you know him better than I so you're judgement is likely reliable.

To mamos; you're wife probably remembers the experience, and if she went through a 12 months of corrective therapy, I can't help but believe something would have been said to her during that time. She likely knew, even though her mother never specificaly said to her.

>To mamos; you're wife probably remembers the experience, and if she went through a 12 months of corrective therapy, I can't help but believe something would have been said to her during that time. She likely knew, even though her mother never specificaly said to her.

She was 3.5 to 4.5. And therapy was a 3 day a week day care where all the children were closely monitored.

The one time I brought it up in verbal conversation he went off on an uncontrollable meltdown of a rant about how doctors just want to label people with this diagnosis or that so that the pharmaceutical industry can create lifelong customers. I didn't & don't disagree with him, but it certainly wasn't all that well received.. which is why I changed my approach. I wrote what I wrote in the most loving way possible, and I hope he sees it that way.

He definitely was defensive & likely felt attacked during that conversation more than a year ago, but we're even closer friends now, and he's usually quite calm - and lately he's been very calm, pleasant, and happy. His reaction may or may not indicate AS.. but damn near any reaction could from a freakout of a meltdown to a calm cool collected logical acceptance. Either way, I hope it's well received and he and I and his family can then have some productive conversations about it to he can move forward asap and catch up to what I've learned about myself and him over the last couple years. And he most certainly doesn't just have Aspie traits lol, no, it's textbook ASD. You're right, I do know him better than you.. that's why I wrote over 18 pages describing his specific traits. Even if they stir up some mixed emotions and he's sad, angry, or frustrated.. I do hope the way in which I wrote everything is well received. I think it will be. I wrote it for a specific audience of one.. ok, welllll, two - I also wrote it with the intention that when he finishes reading it that he passes it on to his father to read, and even suggested so at the end of it. I hope that happens, too.

That is quite interesting. And a good question.

I'm glad to hear your wife took it okay. Thanks for following up.


^ Thank you for this!

Wishing you the best