Has anyone here ever dated another Aspie?

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I think I have a dated a girl with AS, she was incredibly shy and had sh-ite social skills but didn't have obssesive interests... I couldn't connect with here. I think it's silly to draw a big line between those with AS and those without.
I've learnt that just because somebody has AS, ADHD, Dysphraxia or Dyslexia it doesb't mean I have a relationship with them that is fulfilling.
A partnership is a confusing mix of things.
I've meet plenty of people with AS and only a few I could actually form a consistent friendship with.
Why? Because it's about communication, the sort that transcends labels, al;ot come from completely different backgrounds and had very conservative interests. I come from a working class background and like Talking heads ALOT.
But then my Ex hated the groups I liked and the clothes, but we could talk about life in a similar way. Labels are not life, labels are socially constructed.

Only dated two girls for significant periods (18 months and 11 months respectively) - neither were Aspies.

They found me difficult, I found them difficult, and both relationships dwindled into a mutual dislike of each other until one lady decided to get her jollies elsewhere and the other took it upon herself to consistently supply me with some lovely abusive texts.

Something tells me a relationship with another Aspie would be most pleasant, but i'm not sure if I fancy my chances much.

I dated (well, in a sporadic fashion) a girl who I'm certain has it, but wasn't diagnosed. She was very odd, and had a load of weird stims.

It didn't work out, either because she just wasn't interested in me, or she wasn't capable at that point in time of being in a relationship. We never officially dated, so we never officially broke up. It was very ambiguous.

I really miss her lately, probably because I could relate to her so well. I'll never come across another girl like her. Maybe it's just because we never really went all in, and tried to be together. If we had done that, at least I'd know how it would have worked (or not). I still have dreams about her now and then.

On the whole, she made me very sad, so I try not to romanticize the past.

I was in a relationship for two years with a man who I am 100% certain was on the spectrum. Unfortunately I am also 100% certain he had narcissistic personality disorder and possibly even the beginnings of schizophrenia. He was emotionally abusive and I am a lesbian who didn't realize it until I was well into the relationship. So this relationship was so doomed that it's hard to say how it was impacted by AS.

However he did have an easier time understanding my need to be alone sometimes, etc because he needed it too. I guess that's one positive thing. I think both having AS helped us "click" in the beginning.

No. I don't even know anyone that has AS other then maybe my cousin Tyler, and I'm definately not going to date him. lol

I am right now, sorta seeing ericmc783

I married one last year! :lol:

She's kinda borderline Aspie actually, and so it works perfectly. She is much better at keeping things organised in life than I am, and although reluctant to socialise, she CAN do it and so deals politely with neighbours etc. But her Aspieness means she's equally obsessed about her interests as I am in mine, has an equal reluctance to entertain anyone else (we're like a couple of isolated hermits!) and we both lose all sense of time in our own worlds. Both of us are PC freaks, and so we have two PCs in the same room so that we actually LIVE together too! It is brilliant finally to be accepted AND understood - mutually.

My only other long-term relationship was with a neurotypical woman - and it wasn't fun! Besides all the continual misunderstandings, I was expected to be sociable, be available and do 'normal' things like sit and watch drudge stuff on TV(!) Any Aspie behaviours and quirks were either totally unacceptable and criticised, or simply misunderstood.

I'm in agreement with ZanneMarie:

First three things (in my ideal, nonexistent relationship):

1. Things in common, that you both enjoy doing and can do together (preferably one that is exercise related and one that is sedentary).

2. Things you each love, separately, and the other is willing to learn about from you (and I don't mean dragged along, I mean eager to learn about).

3. Things you each love, separately, and will continue to do separately, without offending the other or causing a rift.

There IS a reason for one exercise one and one sedentary one (at least one of each). I was fit and strong and in good shape. Then I hurt my back. If my relationship had been based SOLELY on physical things, it would have been doomed. I wouldn't have been able to go hiking or waterskiing or do aerobics or long walks. It's still too painful.

And I couldn't expect the other person to completely give up their lifestyle too, of exercising. Doing sports or jogging or bicycle marathons. A LONG relationship might have many twisted ankles and pulled muscles. One or both of you. So that is when you can do sedentary things together. Movies, read, board games, driving in the country.

We aren't always going to be youngsters either. I've seen very happy couples whose entire lives are sports. Exercise. What happens if one gets hurt?

I love to learn, and I am sure that each person has something interesting they know more about than I do.

And there are things that neither of us may want to learn about or deal with. So while he's doing his thing, I'm doing mine.

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Other things I talked about with an Aspie friend was to make lists. Things you HAVE to have in a relationship. Things that would be good. Things kind of acceptable. Things not really acceptable. And total dealbreakers.

The list source is pretty much your own life. I don't sleep well, and I sleep restlessly. There's no way some poor fella is going to be able to handle that. Separate beds? Separate rooms? I remember hollering at my ex-spouse from another room that he was getting dressed too loudly.

Love of nature, respect for living things. Kindness. Intelligent. Sense of humor. Those have got to be there. The extent will depend on the individual.

Definitely must NOT take advantage of me.

I'm not one for travel. I'm content going up the same little paths to tend the animals every day. Those paths ARE new and exciting each day. I don't need to travel to another continent to walk another path. Besides, there were be no furry or feathered friends at the end of the path.

That's something I love. I wouldn't want to give that up. Perhaps he would be better at nature or cook the cat, bird, animal foods from scratch. Maybe he'd just like to walk out there with me sometimes. Or maybe he'd be glad for me to have something that interests me, while he works on a novel he's writing. Or rides off on that bike marathon.

How do we meet people that like what we like. Maybe we can put more of it in our profiles. Maybe we can local events. Not just a "singles" event, but a whole family thing. And friends. Much less pressure. Not going to make a date. Would be going to have a picnic. Or to do something else that would allow people to mingle or wander as they so choose.

Me, I've never met an Aspie in real life. I just know that the NT dating world was not for me and I left it long ago.

I have online, twice. It's the third time now, as Anubis is an Aspie. I've never dated someone in real life though, as guys don't like me much. Also, I don't think I have ever met an Aspie offline.

Nah i haven't yet.
I doubt it would be easy to find one that has any common interests.
I would never specificly look for someone with authism.

no...but I would like too

i have
im in love with her
we have nearly everything in common with each other

What ARE Aspies like offline?