Where have all the good men gone?

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You can't win either way.

She's either testing you to see if you are a pushover and easy ride with your money.

Or testing you to see if you are a cheapskate.

If you're in a town with rather high levels of unemployment, they're somewhere else. Somewhere where they could get a job and make money.

I completely agree with you for once. I have to say my female colleagues and friends drive me insane with their 'female ways' and if I had a penny every time I said 'You can't have it both ways" and "Make up your mind already", I would totes be flying my own Cessna by now.

I don't agree with anything that chick says in that video, except that a little chivalry, while not a requirement, *is* appreciated. You're bigger, you're stronger, if you want to pull out my chair, lend me your coat, open doors for me and be a little protective, that's okay. Not in the sense of "the guy should pay for everything" but in the sense that most women are repelled by the "cool story, babe, now get me a beer" attitude that seems to prevail amongst younger men these days.

I especially disagree with the "game" around picking up the check. Stupid beeyotch, don't slap down your credit card unless you intend to pay. It ain't a game of chicken. What's wrong with asking "shall we split this?" and then if the guy really wants to pick up the tab, he can. But this deliberately sending confusing signals thing is BS - in either gender.

Nah, this is just part of the normal NT courtship "game" where the script is "required" to be ambiguous so that either party can do history revision later if things don't go their way.
It's basically one party saying, "You wanna have sex?" as ambiguously as possible, and the other party saying, "Maybe."
Then the other party asks, and the question and answer flip-flops.
Unfortunately social rules make it completely taboo to say it outright and directly so it has to be snuck-up on in a very round about and subtle way, though some people enjoy breaking this taboo.
So, often people really are trying to have it "both" ways, or at least be able to "claim" either way later, "I didn't like him anyway!" as a face saving device.

The problem with this rant is that she doesn't know (or wont say) why things didn't go her way and her vehemence indicates that she thinks he rejected her.

I believe the reason she used ret*d arguments - "I insisted on paying and the big cad indulged my whim!" and "We say don't open the door, but you better!" demonstrating a profound lack of understanding of fair play.
It reminds me of something I read, about an original NOW president/chairperson (or something) (National Organization of Women) said/wrote when she resigned NOW - it was along the idea that little girls are not taught chivalry or even how to play fair.

"Don't hit girls for any reason," is very ubiquitous in our culture. When boys offend other boys (or even girls) very often during their childhood they'll immediately get hit, kicked or even beaten up, this establishes a type of fair play among boys usually adjudicated by the fathers, which creates a continuity of similar social fair play rules - a chivalry if you please.
If the boy loses, a father (and/or other adult males) will discuss with him why it happened, tell the boy whether it was his fault (was he in the right or wrong) and advise the boy on how to win next time (or at least how to fight better/harder/more fiercely).
If a girl gets hit or beaten up, everyone has a panic attack and runs off to punish the perp, often ignoring any possibility that she may have contributed to or even provoked the situation. Or lied.

- Boys are "not supposed" to "hit" girls for any reason.
- Boys are "supposed" to "hit" wrong doing boys.
- Boys are not supposed to hit boys without good reason. Which teaches a sense of "fair-play."
(This sense of fair-play can often lead much smaller men to fight/attack much bigger men -jumping into an apparently guaranteed a*s whoopin, which in turn leads to understanding why size is no guarantee, which strongly encourages even big guys to play fair)
- On the other hand many fathers treat their little girls like princesses, sometimes with a great degree of indulgence and often require her brothers to do the same.
This fails to teach little girls reciprocity and how to think, act, or play, "fair."
(IMO, there are of course many exceptions and /or she may learn it other ways.)
This was that NOW lady's thoughts, and they seem reasonable to me.

All this translates beyond the merely physical "hitting," it teaches fairness and reciprocity across the board -you bought lunch last time so I'm buying lunch this time -yes but the restaurant I bought lunch at was much cheaper so lets split this one and you can buy me lunch next time it's cheaper.


So it's not this girl's fault*, she doesn't know any better.
But she IS the leasing cause of Mansplaining. By saying she wants something she does not want, she accidentally makes some guys think they know what she wants better than her, maybe they're right.

(*sarcasm)

Try again.

Try being a real person, with a life of your own but the ability to recognize that your girlfriend's also a person, one whose life and interests are as important as your own. Don't be a leech, a bully, a child. Have a sense of humor. Be kind without expecting you're owed something in return. Be her friend, not her hero. Converse. Be generous in bed without making it all about how generous you are in bed. Don't be envious of her, don't be resentful of her success. Be committed and thoughtful.

This Disney fantasy you've got up there, with the white knights...think about who watches Disney movies. It ain't grown women.

Who wants to bet she slept with or likes the guy she's talking about? Why is he getting all the attention and not the guy who's been sweet to her? Notice it's the negative ones that get the attention.

This girl is like toxic, avoid any women like this, if you did pay for her, she would probably use it as an excuse to take you for a free meal ticket.

Of course the guy picks up the tab and opens the door. Oh, and when you pick up the girl [or meet wherever you have prearanged, be sure to bring flowers]. Women are wired to be attracted to a man who is able to provide and does so in an open, generous manner. Short of funds? Prepare a beyond incredible picnic feast and make part of your date a picnic in the park. I'm sorry guys, but unless you enjoy being in the 90%n of Autistic men who can't get a girlfriend or wife, maybe you should stop with the fantasy that with no work on your part that you are suddenly going to have women in line at your door.

um sorry if this is rude, but are you female? your profile says so, but thise kinda sounds like male, unless you female who dates females. Which does make me wonder when two girls go out on a date who pays the tab? if two guys go out do they fight over who pays the tab?

If I pay the tab or not depends on if I have enough money, but that's why I avoid paid dates. I have paid the tab at the dates i've been on. For a girl to expect it would irritate me. I know a guy that spent 500 on a girl and never got a 2nd date.



well you're generation likes flowers. Mine not so much. I went thru a lot of trouble researching roses and means, found a local flower shop(hard to do now now most out of business.) the guy there was little surprised I was getting flowers for a first date(guess its not common anymore). I should have known this from reading on the net most guys say not to do it and lady's were split 50/50. the ones I gave it to were not very appreciate, so I've sadly stopped the practice I do say though the flower shop did a wonderful presentation job on the flower each time. Door opening check(even my car door) I usually like to do a walk in the park for first date, though for one I did min golf and bowling. For another It was lunch at a vegan place followed by games at a park.

I should have been born in the 1930s

Vicky- I do my fair share of work, but there are some girls that take advantage of things just because "I'm too nice." No guy, or girl, likes to feel that they are doing all the work. And I have learned that I simply will not engage in romance with any girl who proves to be insecure, low self-esteem and simply has no respect or honor for their relationships they have with their boyfriend.

Boo- I remember a guy who posted a thread earlier in the week about a girl who gave him radio silence for two months, and then decided to ask him out on a date. I'm curious as to how it goes. In relation to such a scenario that if any girl is just doing this for an ego boost, she should pay for her share. Disrespecting me (especially to my face), and expecting me to pay the full tab will guarantee I won't be looking for a second date.

Everyone reading: I thought I'd post the following link below. It can easily apply to both genders. this article is negative in some aspects, but it does speak an ugly truth as I know I have met some women who act the way the writer describes.

http://www.returnofkings.com/30402/most-women-dont-deserve-a-good-man

I think this vid is a joke or she's been drinking too much of that beer she mentioned

That vid's a shining example of why I'm starting to think sitting alone in my cave and playing Pokemon until I die is the way to go.

You're so rude, how dare you questioning my femininity? ;__; Do I sound too nerdy for a woman? And I thought you are a nice guy. :'(

Where have all the good men gone???

According to this fellow

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU[/youtube]

we've succumbed to porn addictions.

I haven't watched the video and probably won't (my WiFi is horribly unreliable).

Anyways, chivalry was mentioned so I'll tell you about chivalry. Chivalry is what dumb gals and dumb guys agree upon because they're too shallow people to actually indulge in meaningful conversation. They don't respect each other knowing were they actually trying to find some common interests they'd regret talking to each other in the first place. Because, you know, if you actually respect a human being you do that because they know something others don't, they think in ways others don't and they actually prove that they're able to reflect their own opinions and their place in society. Anyone who's so brittle and fragile (and also rather gullible) that she needs to be treated (as commonly said) "like a princess" she will never get actual respect, she will always be treated in a very condescending manner. To respect somebody means to treat them like an adult. You don't need to open the door, but if you're using it first, hold it open vor anybody entering after you. Simple as that.

I wouldn't want a girlfriend who wants me to treat her as a princess because that also means I will never ever be able to discuss any of my or her interests with her. You don't argue with children, do you?

She's awful. Is that really the type of girl you guys want to attract?