Entitlement, a question

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You cannot "demand" love from another individual no more than you could go uninvited into their home and demand the food and water off their table.

Last edited by TallyMan on 29 May 2014, 2:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well I'm sure that's in your favour, but it's no guarantee.

I'm not entitled to the air I breathe, though, I'm certainly thankful for it's enduring presence throughout my life.

That being said, it's probably stating the obvious to say that I don't feel entitled to a woman's love and affection.

The reason for my lack of a romantic partner is mostly to do with my actions and person. I spend most of my time studying music in my free time... needless to say, I'm not out and about much to meet women, and I make much better impressions with women in person, as they do with me.

As far as the reasoning in my person, I often appear and feel cut in stone... probably not the most cuddly of folk to fall in love with, despite possessing undying loyalty and unconditional affection. This too would be my fault... I typically overload my brain with processes, and the conditioning of the removal of self through meditation during practice of virtuoso music pieces often leads to a numb-of-emotion and neutral of gender self by noon. That, and isolation from frequent time in study/practice tends to bring in backward survival mechanisms like anhedonia... again, my fault. Anyone who's seen my picture in Member's Only has probably noticed my spacey vacant eyes due to such practices.

Extra reasoning, I'm very selective in choosing a partner... I have to see a potential life partner to give in to such a monumental task as keeping her feeling loved and appreciated. I only date women that I can foresee loving endlessly through process of evaluation through rational thought detached from emotion, and I shut out the feelings I have for women that I realize my body is simply trying to manipulate my mind to pursue through chemical release. I don't wish to hurt anyone.

Lastly, while I do miss the warmth romantic love brings to heart, it's not of high priority, so I don't seek it out. If it finds me, I'm more than open to seeing where it goes though. I plan to go back to school in August, so it's not like I won't be placed around people closer to my age again rather soon.

Edit: Edited the second to last sentence in the second to last paragraph to clarify intended meaning.

Last edited by Lace-Bane on 29 May 2014, 5:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I can demand it but I can't take it. I want it, but they're under no obligation to give it. But the point is a human demands it because it is very much needed. They're entitled to love because it was purchased with their humanity, and a human needs it in order to feel 'full' on his spiritual side.

How do you mean "purchased with their humanity? " And how is humanity going to provide you with a partner?

How do you demand it?

I think a child is entitled to love from its parents. That's about it.

I know what you are saying, but what you want/need isn't given freely. My advice (to young men in general on this forum) is simply to talk to women in all daily situations - maybe something relevant about the particular situation (at school, the workplace etc, the gym, the library etc). Learn how to initiate conversations; use open questions requiring more than yes/no replies, learn how to feel comfortable and relaxed in these situations. It may be difficult at first and you may get some awkward gaps of silence, but it gets easier and before you know it you'll be chatting away with women all the time with no expectations of anything more than just passing a little time... then something may click one day and you will find yourself on a date or simply going some place together - not a date as such, just going to a bookshop together or some other trivial errand. And so on. If the magic happens it happens. Then love will be offered to you... along with food and water at her home

I, myself, have tried that, only to be ignored when I did. Even if I make small talk, nothing happens. It's as if I don't even exist.

Believe it or not, girls have come to me looking for love. I pretty much slammed the doors in their faces, because I don't want leeches sucking me dry. There was even a time when a really ugly, obese girl was stalking me over Facebook. She still does, via numerous accounts. I have come to the conclusion that it's pointless to even try. I have nothing to offer, even in the totality of existence. I have no purpose but to wait for death.

The two of you might be arguing the same point. Are you discussing the merits and obligations of a moral imperative?

For what it's worth, many autistics share your exact feelings of solitary isolation and rejection. Perhaps, that common experience can be used to gain a sense of kinship with other autistics. That kinship could possibly be the foundation for much more. Thank about it.

Kinship? With others? I think not. Humans are grotesque, and insignificant in the nonexistent "grand scheme of things". I am grotesque and insignificant as well. Why bother forming a so-called "kinship" when such a concept is utterly impractical? We're driven by impulse and desire. Desire for violence, money, sex, power over our fellow apes. All for their own sake.

I did not assume I would find someone special, but it was something I really hoped for. The thing is that not only must you find them, but also you must be the special person they were looking for.

To be their special person you have to meet certain ideas they have and be willing to meet their needs as best as you are able. Conversely they should be a person willing to meet your needs.

So I think it is more a matter of: 1) Luck finding the right one and 2) earning their partnership rather then being entitled to it.

Do those conclusions seem intuitively obvious, are they based on experience, or something else? And, do those thoughts always occur instantaneously and automatically under particular circumstances?

It's obvious really. There's no point to anything. Not even living.

I'm sure in your head the second sentence follows sensibly on from the first. It doesn't on the page. What context is there that they might make sense? Is it literal - were all these girls into some 'alternative healing' thing that involved leeches?

Speaking of things that suck - your attitude.

If that is how you feel about yourself, this is how you will project yourself to others. Who in their right mind would want anything to do with someone who is "grotesque and insignificant"?



You must give everyone a really negative impression... but you somehow expect women to want to date you? Or do you? You say you hate women but want women?

Until/unless you sort out your own serious issues you don't stand a hope in hell of forming a loving relationship with someone.