Page 2 of 4 [ 61 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next

TallyMan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 40,061

29 May 2014, 2:57 pm

Klowglas wrote:
Love is not taken, no, but it IS demanded just as much as you demand water or food, because that is what your humanity requires for a good and worthwhile life.


You cannot "demand" love from another individual no more than you could go uninvited into their home and demand the food and water off their table.


_________________
I've left WP indefinitely.


Last edited by TallyMan on 29 May 2014, 2:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Ann2011
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jul 2011
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,843
Location: Ontario, Canada

29 May 2014, 2:57 pm

Klowglas wrote:
Ann2011 wrote:
Klowglas wrote:
Ann2011 wrote:
So, who is responsible for providing you with this entitlement?


Humanity, they're the ones that brought me here in the first place, surely they have need for me somewhere.


Humanity . . . I don't know if you have a SO, but for the sake of argument, let's say you don't. How should humanity go about providing you with one?


I would figure someone would love me for my humanity.


Well I'm sure that's in your favour, but it's no guarantee.



Lace-Bane
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,622
Location: florida

29 May 2014, 2:58 pm

I'm not entitled to the air I breathe, though, I'm certainly thankful for it's enduring presence throughout my life.

That being said, it's probably stating the obvious to say that I don't feel entitled to a woman's love and affection.

The reason for my lack of a romantic partner is mostly to do with my actions and person. I spend most of my time studying music in my free time... needless to say, I'm not out and about much to meet women, and I make much better impressions with women in person, as they do with me.

As far as the reasoning in my person, I often appear and feel cut in stone... probably not the most cuddly of folk to fall in love with, despite possessing undying loyalty and unconditional affection. This too would be my fault... I typically overload my brain with processes, and the conditioning of the removal of self through meditation during practice of virtuoso music pieces often leads to a numb-of-emotion and neutral of gender self by noon. That, and isolation from frequent time in study/practice tends to bring in backward survival mechanisms like anhedonia... again, my fault. Anyone who's seen my picture in Member's Only has probably noticed my spacey vacant eyes due to such practices.

Extra reasoning, I'm very selective in choosing a partner... I have to see a potential life partner to give in to such a monumental task as keeping her feeling loved and appreciated. I only date women that I can foresee loving endlessly through process of evaluation through rational thought detached from emotion, and I shut out the feelings I have for women that I realize my body is simply trying to manipulate my mind to pursue through chemical release. I don't wish to hurt anyone.

Lastly, while I do miss the warmth romantic love brings to heart, it's not of high priority, so I don't seek it out. If it finds me, I'm more than open to seeing where it goes though. I plan to go back to school in August, so it's not like I won't be placed around people closer to my age again rather soon.

Edit: Edited the second to last sentence in the second to last paragraph to clarify intended meaning.



Last edited by Lace-Bane on 29 May 2014, 5:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Klowglas
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Apr 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 545
Location: New England

29 May 2014, 3:16 pm

TallyMan wrote:
Klowglas wrote:
Love is not taken, no, but it IS demanded just as much as you demand water or food, because that is what your humanity requires for a good and worthwhile life.


You cannot "demand" love from another individual no more than you could go uninvited into their home and demand the food and water off their table.


I can demand it but I can't take it. I want it, but they're under no obligation to give it. But the point is a human demands it because it is very much needed. They're entitled to love because it was purchased with their humanity, and a human needs it in order to feel 'full' on his spiritual side.



Ann2011
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jul 2011
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,843
Location: Ontario, Canada

29 May 2014, 3:29 pm

Klowglas wrote:
TallyMan wrote:
Klowglas wrote:
Love is not taken, no, but it IS demanded just as much as you demand water or food, because that is what your humanity requires for a good and worthwhile life.


You cannot "demand" love from another individual no more than you could go uninvited into their home and demand the food and water off their table.


I can demand it but I can't take it. I want it, but they're under no obligation to give it. But the point is a human demands it because it is very much needed. They're entitled to love because it was purchased with their humanity, and a human needs it in order to feel 'full' on his spiritual side.


How do you mean "purchased with their humanity? " And how is humanity going to provide you with a partner?



Hopper
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Aug 2012
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,920
Location: The outskirts

29 May 2014, 3:32 pm

Klowglas wrote:
TallyMan wrote:
Klowglas wrote:
Love is not taken, no, but it IS demanded just as much as you demand water or food, because that is what your humanity requires for a good and worthwhile life.


You cannot "demand" love from another individual no more than you could go uninvited into their home and demand the food and water off their table.


I can demand it but I can't take it. I want it, but they're under no obligation to give it. But the point is a human demands it because it is very much needed. They're entitled to love because it was purchased with their humanity, and a human needs it in order to feel 'full' on his spiritual side.


How do you demand it?

I think a child is entitled to love from its parents. That's about it.


_________________
Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.


TallyMan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 40,061

29 May 2014, 3:36 pm

Klowglas wrote:
TallyMan wrote:
Klowglas wrote:
Love is not taken, no, but it IS demanded just as much as you demand water or food, because that is what your humanity requires for a good and worthwhile life.


You cannot "demand" love from another individual no more than you could go uninvited into their home and demand the food and water off their table.


I can demand it but I can't take it. I want it, but they're under no obligation to give it. But the point is a human demands it because it is very much needed. They're entitled to love because it was purchased with their humanity, and a human needs it in order to feel 'full' on his spiritual side.


I know what you are saying, but what you want/need isn't given freely. My advice (to young men in general on this forum) is simply to talk to women in all daily situations - maybe something relevant about the particular situation (at school, the workplace etc, the gym, the library etc). Learn how to initiate conversations; use open questions requiring more than yes/no replies, learn how to feel comfortable and relaxed in these situations. It may be difficult at first and you may get some awkward gaps of silence, but it gets easier and before you know it you'll be chatting away with women all the time with no expectations of anything more than just passing a little time... then something may click one day and you will find yourself on a date or simply going some place together - not a date as such, just going to a bookshop together or some other trivial errand. And so on. If the magic happens it happens. Then love will be offered to you... along with food and water at her home :lol:


_________________
I've left WP indefinitely.


Giftorcurse
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2009
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,887
Location: Port Royal, South Carolina

29 May 2014, 3:46 pm

TallyMan wrote:
I know what you are saying, but what you want/need isn't given freely. My advice (to young men in general on this forum) is simply to talk to women in all daily situations - maybe something relevant about the particular situation (at school, the workplace etc, the gym, the library etc). Learn how to initiate conversations; use open questions requiring more than yes/no replies, learn how to feel comfortable and relaxed in these situations. It may be difficult at first and you may get some awkward gaps of silence, but it gets easier and before you know it you'll be chatting away with women all the time with no expectations of anything more than just passing a little time... then something may click one day and you will find yourself on a date or simply going some place together - not a date as such, just going to a bookshop together or some other trivial errand. And so on. If the magic happens it happens. Then love will be offered to you... along with food and water at her home :lol:

I, myself, have tried that, only to be ignored when I did. Even if I make small talk, nothing happens. It's as if I don't even exist.

Believe it or not, girls have come to me looking for love. I pretty much slammed the doors in their faces, because I don't want leeches sucking me dry. There was even a time when a really ugly, obese girl was stalking me over Facebook. She still does, via numerous accounts. I have come to the conclusion that it's pointless to even try. I have nothing to offer, even in the totality of existence. I have no purpose but to wait for death.


_________________
Yes, I'm still alive.


SoftwareEngineer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Apr 2014
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 578
Location: Tonopah, AZ, USA

29 May 2014, 3:46 pm

TallyMan wrote:
Klowglas wrote:
TallyMan wrote:
Klowglas wrote:
Love is not taken, no, but it IS demanded just as much as you demand water or food, because that is what your humanity requires for a good and worthwhile life.


You cannot "demand" love from another individual no more than you could go uninvited into their home and demand the food and water off their table.


I can demand it but I can't take it. I want it, but they're under no obligation to give it. But the point is a human demands it because it is very much needed. They're entitled to love because it was purchased with their humanity, and a human needs it in order to feel 'full' on his spiritual side.


I know what you are saying, but what you want/need isn't given freely. My advice (to young men in general on this forum) is simply to talk to women in all daily situations - maybe something relevant about the particular situation (at school, the workplace etc, the gym, the library etc). Learn how to initiate conversations; use open questions requiring more than yes/no replies, learn how to feel comfortable and relaxed in these situations. It may be difficult at first and you may get some awkward gaps of silence, but it gets easier and before you know it you'll be chatting away with women all the time with no expectations of anything more than just passing a little time... then something may click one day and you will find yourself on a date or simply going some place together - not a date as such, just going to a bookshop together or some other trivial errand. And so on. If the magic happens it happens. Then love will be offered to you... along with food and water at her home :lol:


The two of you might be arguing the same point. Are you discussing the merits and obligations of a moral imperative?



SoftwareEngineer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Apr 2014
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 578
Location: Tonopah, AZ, USA

29 May 2014, 3:49 pm

Giftorcurse wrote:
TallyMan wrote:
I know what you are saying, but what you want/need isn't given freely. My advice (to young men in general on this forum) is simply to talk to women in all daily situations - maybe something relevant about the particular situation (at school, the workplace etc, the gym, the library etc). Learn how to initiate conversations; use open questions requiring more than yes/no replies, learn how to feel comfortable and relaxed in these situations. It may be difficult at first and you may get some awkward gaps of silence, but it gets easier and before you know it you'll be chatting away with women all the time with no expectations of anything more than just passing a little time... then something may click one day and you will find yourself on a date or simply going some place together - not a date as such, just going to a bookshop together or some other trivial errand. And so on. If the magic happens it happens. Then love will be offered to you... along with food and water at her home :lol:

I, myself, have tried that, only to be ignored when I did. Even if I make small talk, nothing happens. It's as if I don't even exist.

Believe it or not, girls have come to me looking for love. I pretty much slammed the doors in their faces, because I don't want leeches sucking me dry. There was even a time when a really ugly, obese girl was stalking me over Facebook. She still does, via numerous accounts. I have come to the conclusion that it's pointless to even try. I have nothing to offer, even in the totality of existence. I have no purpose but to wait for death.


For what it's worth, many autistics share your exact feelings of solitary isolation and rejection. Perhaps, that common experience can be used to gain a sense of kinship with other autistics. That kinship could possibly be the foundation for much more. Thank about it.



Giftorcurse
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2009
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,887
Location: Port Royal, South Carolina

29 May 2014, 3:54 pm

SoftwareEngineer wrote:
Giftorcurse wrote:
TallyMan wrote:
I know what you are saying, but what you want/need isn't given freely. My advice (to young men in general on this forum) is simply to talk to women in all daily situations - maybe something relevant about the particular situation (at school, the workplace etc, the gym, the library etc). Learn how to initiate conversations; use open questions requiring more than yes/no replies, learn how to feel comfortable and relaxed in these situations. It may be difficult at first and you may get some awkward gaps of silence, but it gets easier and before you know it you'll be chatting away with women all the time with no expectations of anything more than just passing a little time... then something may click one day and you will find yourself on a date or simply going some place together - not a date as such, just going to a bookshop together or some other trivial errand. And so on. If the magic happens it happens. Then love will be offered to you... along with food and water at her home :lol:

I, myself, have tried that, only to be ignored when I did. Even if I make small talk, nothing happens. It's as if I don't even exist.

Believe it or not, girls have come to me looking for love. I pretty much slammed the doors in their faces, because I don't want leeches sucking me dry. There was even a time when a really ugly, obese girl was stalking me over Facebook. She still does, via numerous accounts. I have come to the conclusion that it's pointless to even try. I have nothing to offer, even in the totality of existence. I have no purpose but to wait for death.


For what it's worth, many autistics share your exact feelings of solitary isolation and rejection. Perhaps, that common experience can be used to gain a sense of kinship with other autistics. That kinship could possibly be the foundation for much more. Thank about it.

Kinship? With others? I think not. Humans are grotesque, and insignificant in the nonexistent "grand scheme of things". I am grotesque and insignificant as well. Why bother forming a so-called "kinship" when such a concept is utterly impractical? We're driven by impulse and desire. Desire for violence, money, sex, power over our fellow apes. All for their own sake.


_________________
Yes, I'm still alive.


Toy_Soldier
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,370

29 May 2014, 3:56 pm

Ann2011 wrote:
When I was growing up, I always assumed I would find someone special to share my life with. This was probably the result of societal conditioning rather than something I came up with myself. There are certainly a lot of examples of this "norm" in media and religion.
I have come to learn that finding such a person is the exception rather than the rule.
My question is to both men and women: do you feel that you are entitled to a partner and, if so, who or what is to blame for your lack of one?
I don't feel entitled to a man. Sometimes I feel lonely, but I don't feel anger towards men in general. So, if you are reading this and are angry because of your lack of a partner, could you explain where the anger comes from.
There seems to be a lot of strife lately in this forum with regard to gender issues. I don't understand why.


I did not assume I would find someone special, but it was something I really hoped for. The thing is that not only must you find them, but also you must be the special person they were looking for.

To be their special person you have to meet certain ideas they have and be willing to meet their needs as best as you are able. Conversely they should be a person willing to meet your needs.

So I think it is more a matter of: 1) Luck finding the right one and 2) earning their partnership rather then being entitled to it.



SoftwareEngineer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Apr 2014
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 578
Location: Tonopah, AZ, USA

29 May 2014, 3:57 pm

Giftorcurse wrote:
SoftwareEngineer wrote:
Giftorcurse wrote:
TallyMan wrote:
I know what you are saying, but what you want/need isn't given freely. My advice (to young men in general on this forum) is simply to talk to women in all daily situations - maybe something relevant about the particular situation (at school, the workplace etc, the gym, the library etc). Learn how to initiate conversations; use open questions requiring more than yes/no replies, learn how to feel comfortable and relaxed in these situations. It may be difficult at first and you may get some awkward gaps of silence, but it gets easier and before you know it you'll be chatting away with women all the time with no expectations of anything more than just passing a little time... then something may click one day and you will find yourself on a date or simply going some place together - not a date as such, just going to a bookshop together or some other trivial errand. And so on. If the magic happens it happens. Then love will be offered to you... along with food and water at her home :lol:

I, myself, have tried that, only to be ignored when I did. Even if I make small talk, nothing happens. It's as if I don't even exist.

Believe it or not, girls have come to me looking for love. I pretty much slammed the doors in their faces, because I don't want leeches sucking me dry. There was even a time when a really ugly, obese girl was stalking me over Facebook. She still does, via numerous accounts. I have come to the conclusion that it's pointless to even try. I have nothing to offer, even in the totality of existence. I have no purpose but to wait for death.


For what it's worth, many autistics share your exact feelings of solitary isolation and rejection. Perhaps, that common experience can be used to gain a sense of kinship with other autistics. That kinship could possibly be the foundation for much more. Thank about it.

Kinship? With others? I think not. Humans are grotesque, and insignificant in the nonexistent "grand scheme of things". I am grotesque and insignificant as well. Why bother forming a so-called "kinship" when such a concept is utterly impractical? We're driven by impulse and desire. Desire for violence, money, sex, power over our fellow apes. All for their own sake.


Do those conclusions seem intuitively obvious, are they based on experience, or something else? And, do those thoughts always occur instantaneously and automatically under particular circumstances?



Giftorcurse
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2009
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,887
Location: Port Royal, South Carolina

29 May 2014, 3:59 pm

It's obvious really. There's no point to anything. Not even living.


_________________
Yes, I'm still alive.


Hopper
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Aug 2012
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,920
Location: The outskirts

29 May 2014, 4:01 pm

Giftorcurse wrote:
TallyMan wrote:
I know what you are saying, but what you want/need isn't given freely. My advice (to young men in general on this forum) is simply to talk to women in all daily situations - maybe something relevant about the particular situation (at school, the workplace etc, the gym, the library etc). Learn how to initiate conversations; use open questions requiring more than yes/no replies, learn how to feel comfortable and relaxed in these situations. It may be difficult at first and you may get some awkward gaps of silence, but it gets easier and before you know it you'll be chatting away with women all the time with no expectations of anything more than just passing a little time... then something may click one day and you will find yourself on a date or simply going some place together - not a date as such, just going to a bookshop together or some other trivial errand. And so on. If the magic happens it happens. Then love will be offered to you... along with food and water at her home :lol:

I, myself, have tried that, only to be ignored when I did. Even if I make small talk, nothing happens. It's as if I don't even exist.

Believe it or not, girls have come to me looking for love. I pretty much slammed the doors in their faces, because I don't want leeches sucking me dry. There was even a time when a really ugly, obese girl was stalking me over Facebook. She still does, via numerous accounts. I have come to the conclusion that it's pointless to even try. I have nothing to offer, even in the totality of existence. I have no purpose but to wait for death.


I'm sure in your head the second sentence follows sensibly on from the first. It doesn't on the page. What context is there that they might make sense? Is it literal - were all these girls into some 'alternative healing' thing that involved leeches?

Speaking of things that suck - your attitude.


_________________
Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.


TallyMan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 40,061

29 May 2014, 4:04 pm

Giftorcurse wrote:
Humans are grotesque, and insignificant in the nonexistent "grand scheme of things". I am grotesque and insignificant as well.


If that is how you feel about yourself, this is how you will project yourself to others. Who in their right mind would want anything to do with someone who is "grotesque and insignificant"?

Giftorcurse wrote:
I pretty much slammed the doors in their faces, because I don't want leeches sucking me dry.


You must give everyone a really negative impression... but you somehow expect women to want to date you? Or do you? You say you hate women but want women?

Until/unless you sort out your own serious issues you don't stand a hope in hell of forming a loving relationship with someone.


_________________
I've left WP indefinitely.