Female or male making the first move?

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Varelse
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30 Nov 2015, 3:02 pm

It is completely appropriate for a woman to let a guy know that she is interested. Quite often, women *do* make the first move - they just usually do it in a very indirect way. There's nothing wrong with a woman being direct in her approach, however. The guy is either into you, or he isn't. Making the first move will reveal this truth, not change it.

WantToHaveALife
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01 Dec 2015, 2:51 pm

dobyfm wrote:

Of coarse not! This is 2015. If a female wants to make the first move then she has every right.

agreed, but it still seems over 90 percent of women, maybe even 99 percent of women, stubbornly, adamantly insist it is the mans role to approach and make the first move, be the initiator.

Pineapplejuicex
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01 Dec 2015, 3:17 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:

dobyfm wrote:

Of coarse not! This is 2015. If a female wants to make the first move then she has every right.

agreed, but it still seems over 90 percent of women, maybe even 99 percent of women, stubbornly, adamantly insist it is the mans role to approach and make the first move, be the initiator.

What's the argument then? Some girls (even if it's a small %) do ask guys out. You can simultaneously wait for a girl to ask you out while asking girls that interest you out. That's increase your odds!

WantToHaveALife
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05 Dec 2015, 5:00 pm

Pineapplejuicex wrote:

WantToHaveALife wrote:

dobyfm wrote:

Of coarse not! This is 2015. If a female wants to make the first move then she has every right.

agreed, but it still seems over 90 percent of women, maybe even 99 percent of women, stubbornly, adamantly insist it is the mans role to approach and make the first move, be the initiator.

it happens too rarely

wilburforce
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05 Dec 2015, 5:30 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:

Pineapplejuicex wrote:

WantToHaveALife wrote:

dobyfm wrote:

Of coarse not! This is 2015. If a female wants to make the first move then she has every right.

agreed, but it still seems over 90 percent of women, maybe even 99 percent of women, stubbornly, adamantly insist it is the mans role to approach and make the first move, be the initiator.

it happens too rarely

So date neurodiverse women then, who seem to be more open to making the first move. We're not unicorns.

Nist498
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05 Dec 2015, 7:22 pm

I am of the opinion that more women should make the first move. It would be especially helpful for someone like me who can't read gestures very well if at all and as a result have next to no experience with romantic relationships. One of the biggest problems I have is both fear of rejection and fear of having some kind of criminal charge levelled at me. Knowing that woman likes me first because she initiated first and directly let me know she was interested removes that and allows me to be more open with her about my feelings and wants in a relationship.

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nurseangela
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05 Dec 2015, 7:41 pm

With my Aspie friend I had made the first connection most of the time. Maybe that's what was wrong and the reason he stopped saying anything. :cry:

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DailyPoutine1
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05 Dec 2015, 7:52 pm

Girls should make the first move. Not just be some kind of "in the background" operators that wait to be asked out by hundreads of men then pick the best of them.

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CommanderKeen
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06 Dec 2015, 3:04 am

Go message him and ask him how he's doing. Talk to him for a bit. The more you talk to him, the more you hint about wanting to get with him, or if his aspergers is real bad, flat out tell him. Start slow at first so you don't overwhelm him. Ask what's new. Talk to him for about a week, or so and then ask to "hangout". This will really be a date, but tell ask if he wants to hangout and goto eat, or goto the movies. Since you're not calling it a date, he will be less overwhelmed and he won't feel obligated to pay your way. The day after tell him how much fun you had hanging out with him, see how he reacts. Wait a few days and plan another time you two can meet. If that goes well start sending him messages like "I've been thinking about you." and then start hinting that you want to get into a relationship, or flat out tell him.

Spiderpig
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06 Dec 2015, 2:53 pm

dobyfm wrote:

Of coarse not! This is 2015. If a female wants to make the first move then she has every right.

And she also has every right not to.

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06 Dec 2015, 6:20 pm

Spiderpig wrote:

dobyfm wrote:

Of coarse not! This is 2015. If a female wants to make the first move then she has every right.

And she also has every right not to.

Same goes for men.

Spiderpig
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06 Dec 2015, 11:14 pm

Yep, but most women can afford not to make the first move and still get relationships, while most men can’t, so refusing to do it is against their best interest unless they want to remain single for life.

cberg
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06 Dec 2015, 11:46 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

**Taking a deep breath***

FEMALES OF THE HUMAN RACE, STOP WITH THIS STUPID IDEA OF NO-INITIATING, YOU ALSO HAVE TO INITIATE CONTACT AT LEAST HALF OF THE TIMES!!

Phew, that felt good. I hope that my message went across.... the galaxy.

Bump. Some of us just want to build a library in the corner & rarely leave that corner. :roll:

Do remember; we'll just build the same thing in low earth orbit if earth turns out to be too noisy.

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WantToHaveALife
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17 Dec 2015, 12:37 pm

can't hold your breath for it if you are guy

Sweetleaf
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17 Dec 2015, 12:42 pm

No not creepy, especially if you guys already know each other.

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b9
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17 Dec 2015, 12:51 pm

i do not think in terms of "moves". to me it is just a natural progression.
like the girl at the supermarket and me know each other quite well, but no moves were made.
we feel comfortable with each other to the degree that it is kind of worrisome to me (impending friend wanting to come over type of thing).
too much for me, but it takes no moves. moves are like fake dance steps just performed out of protocol.

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