What do romantic relationships entail?

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Those men have a good deal of mass over their other halves, most likely make more money, are more confident, drive the conversation, drives the misses, bought the home, etc.

Just because the exageration doesn't reach cartoon-level proportions doesn't mean it's not there, even an obese man who plays videogames all day has a significantly more amount of muscle mass than your average dame.



When absent of merit, and sex, the woman is plainly loved, it's removing all conditions of the equation, the tragedy is that it's not reciprocated in a like manner, the man's love means that he needs to let her go in the end, the woman's love is then revealed as vanity and "till death do is part" completes the vow, the love dies with the body, and the spirits move on towards wherever they may.




My life as a poor man whose absent of all merit has taught me one thing: nothing is more reviled and reproved than a poor man without any merit, the true poetry is that where I am at, you, and every other man is going to find themselves in, you will have to feel what I am feeling, at one point or another. Humanities vanity will catch up to him, it might take awhile but it WILL happen.

Consider my life, who I am, as a warning, be careful not to love vanity, love plainly, and don't be moved by any coercions to love, be they in favors, treasures and gifts, because love can only be given freely as gift -- not coerced -- forced love is analogical to rape. A lover in vanity isn't anymore a true lover than the rapist, who invokes the physical world to take what cannot be taken by force (which is the heart). The heart which is often bribed into love, in this light we deserve this world more than you can possible imagine.

Klowglas - Are you quoting the bible because you think there's a wisdom or truth there and it just happened to come from that holy book, or because you're a Christian?

I can consider and discuss concepts around nature and evolution and love. I think your thinking is muddled, and it would be interesting to see if I could clear it up. But I can't really debate Christian theology, nor probably anything that starts from the point that that stuff is the Truth.

I agree. I'm not talking about having no 'inner kid' or being super serious, I'm talking about dating someone who had not grown up at all. Like, say, a supersized 6 year old.

Women entertain things like astrology/tarots for entertainment, I don't think they actually believe, this compared to the endless schools of philosophy, which are overwhelmingly founded by men.

Men come from NOTHING in order to find merit of being worthy of a woman's affection, whereas to women, their merit is innate, so they don't have to deal with the existential thought of losing love, because they already have comfort inside of the body.

Men, for being crushed through the millstone of life, very early on understand that without merit you are nothing, and so they engage in philosophy in order to find comfort in things that are actually real, whereas the body props up the illusions of love for the sake of future generations, philosophy aims to unravel this shroud, and so by necessity, men have to become more spiritual. Otherwise the cognitive dissonance is so great as to drive men to suicide and I'll say this, men commit suicide more often then women for a VERY good reason, the cognitive dissonance of the truth becomes so strong that it very much kills them in the end.

Well I am Christian and the bible is a sort of manual on how to find love, as it seeks to unite creation with creator (since we were created to love God).

If you haven't read Ecclesiastes, it's a few short pages of some of the most profound wisdom of the world, it will only take like 20 minutes to read, but all of my philosophy is centered on those passages. Which is essentially a philosopher-king lamenting on how everything seems pointless and without tangible meaning, which is where you get phrases like "all is vanity" and "chasing after the wind".

Here's the Audiobook(36 minutes):

According to self-reports at least, they do: http://www.rdos.net/eng/aspeval/quizs2.htm (question 151).

The score for "Do you believe in ghosts and / or supernatural phenomens?" is higher for women regardless of neurotype, but it peaks in ND women.

The case for philosophy probably has another background.



That men are more likely to commit suicide is correct AFAIK. It probably has a lot to do with failed relationships too.

You might confuse things with the fact that men appear to fall in love much quicker than women. That do cause a lot of suffering.

Ah. I thought I detected a lot of Ecclesiastes in your worldview - read it a good 10 years back, looking through the bible for interesting bits - but that certainly confirms it.

I might try and sketch out where I'm coming from in all this (got stuff to do right now) and respond to some of what you said, but that you believe God created us to love Him - well, that is a given to you, a founding principle of your life that is going to affect your view of love, and it simply isn't for me. So, any 'meeting' on the matter will be very difficult.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_di ... in_suicide

The reported difference in suicide rates for males and females is partially a result of the methods used by each gender. Although females attempt suicide at a higher rate, they are more likely to use methods that are less immediately lethal. Males frequently complete suicide via high mortality actions such as hanging, carbon-monoxide poisoning, and firearms. This is in contrast to females, who tend to rely on drug overdosing.[15] While overdosing can be deadly, it is less immediate and therefore more likely to be caught before death occurs. In Europe, where the gender discrepancy is the greatest, a study found that the most frequent method of suicide among both genders was hanging; however, the use of hanging was significantly higher in males (54.3%) than in females (35.6%). The same study found that the second most common methods were firearms for men and poisoning for women

I think relationships can be very different. I believe my girlfriend should be my best friend. I'm not romantic at all but I am very affectionate & emotionally supportive. I like spending time together just hanging out or cuddling.

Describe what it means to have not grown up

Describe whatnot means to grown up

I find the topic of relationships extremely interesting and one i've researched quite a bit, but I'm in no way an expert!

I however found that it's absolutely not as black and white as people would like it to be, because it involves different human beings with all their traits and differences. You've been given a lot of explanations and examples because every single person lives relationships differently. Everyone has different expectations and needs when it comes to romantic relationships (also non-romantic) and partners. a lot of peoples follow a "set of rules" (consciously and unconsciously) by which they determine whether a certain interaction is romantic or not. Everyone has different "sets of rules".

You cannot get a definite answer because one does not exist. You have to find what works for you, understand what your needs and expectations are and find someone who can match those. This can be very difficult! A lot of people go through the motions of life without never finding this out and simply doing what it's expected of them by society or what we've learned growing up, looking at our parents, seeing movies etc... never interested in seeking their truths. Other people question themselves more and explore different avenues until they find their truth (which could still be what society, family the movies expect you to do - why not if that's what you need?).

My suggestion for you is to understand what this "set of rules" is to you, what your needs are, and after you can look for someone that matches these. Someone who can appreciate them. This comes with honesty (towards oneself first, then towards the other person) and a certain degree of communication (enough to get across what these "set of rules" is for each others). I believe in the past you may have misunderstood girlfriends and what the relationships were supposed to entail due to lack of sufficient honesty and communication, or because your needs and expectations weren't a match. When i talk about honesty, I'm referring to what one's need/expectations are (most people struggle to be honest to themselves about these kind of things), not the basic cheating, telling lies etc... Most importantly, keep in mind that these may change. what you want now, may be very different from what you want 5 years down the line, because you grow older, learn more things, life changes etc... and be ready to embrace the change!!

In my experience, in my early twenties i realised that i didn't have interest in what was expected by me. the movies notion of "romantic" didn't work for me. It took about 9 years to understand what i want and what works for me. I'm in no way aromantic nor asexual, but during these 9 years of learning about myself i went without dating or sex for very long periods of time. I now realised that monogamous "normal" romantic relationships don't work for me. I seek deep connections, strong feelings (of various kind), strong intimacy and sex. My needs don't match with a lot of people, therefore a romantic relationship with those people could not be possible. Although I'm not asexual, i found that the first part of this article makes a lot of sense to me https://thethinkingasexual.wordpress.co ... hy-basics/.

TL;DR: There is no OTW of defining romantic relationships. everyone is different, lives them differently expects different things. Understand what works for you!

I think some need to go much beyond that point. I have no rules, nor any expectations that I need to talk about. I use a long nonverbal phase initially to check out if a girl is compatible, and if she is persistent and nice enough to me and others. This appears to work to "communicate" asexuality too, as sexual people typically cannot go through the nonverbal phase and keep or increase attachment without sex, rather that requires the "obsess about a crush" trait.



Same here, except for the sexual part.

Non verbal communication is still a form of communication, I'm not sure i understand it a lot though. However, what you describe here sounds more like you're testing her to see if she's compatible, but by not communicating with her what your needs and expectations are (quote: if she is persistent and nice enough to me and others) you are not giving her the chance to do the same with you. So you assess each others out, but never actually know what the other want.



When i say rules, i don't actually mean rules. There's probably a better word for that, but it's not coming to me now. However, when you say the above, these are the kind of rules I'm talking about! Same goes for expectations. These sentences means you do have expectations and rules. Everyone does. I don't only mean you want someone to remember your birthday, bring you flowers, bring you breakfast in bed. These could also be expectations, but not limited to these kind of things.

So for instance, you said it's the same for you for strong intimacy, but you meet someone for whom intimacy is not important and has no intention of reaching that level, it may be a deal breaker for the two of you. (I'm not saying it is, obviously i don't know you, I'm just trying to explain myself a bit better).

She gets a chance to assess the same things about me, but I won't let her know my social status, my hobbies or my cultural preferences. I won't know hers either, and sometimes I won't even know her name. So, inherent in this procedure is that I don't want her to judge me based on traditional dating stuff, and if she is not fine with that, then she won't go along with it.



I should mention that this procedure was kind of automatic for me in school, and I did it more or less unconsciously. However, later, I've discovered that it appears to assess a few things I had no idea that it would assess before, like being neurodiverse, asexual and wanting long-term strong connections only.

There should have been a lot of deal-breakers that it wouldn't assess, but it appears that this alone seems quite sufficient if you are rather adaptable yourself. The chance that you will grow out of each other also becomes reduced when your initial cultural preferences might have been quite different, and you adapted to this difference without much difficulty.

I think that if she's very similar to you she'll probably do the same. However people can be very similar on many levels and very different on so many others. But I'm sure you know what works for you better than anyone else!

Woah there I am a neurodiverse female, and I don't mind that my boyfriend would probably be better able to physically defend me than I'd be able to physically defend him. And yeah I feel a little less likely to get assaulted if I am walking around with him at night than by myself which I like.....Quit trying to speak for all neurodiverse women.

But yeah I think you are getting neurodiverse mixed up with dominant, more dominant woman who want to sort of be the balls in the relationship might go for child-like traits in a guy, but not necessarily neurodiverse women.

And what do you mean love is not fulfilled in the world because its not reciprocated? Pretty sure there are plenty of couples who might disagree with you there who feel it is very much being reciprocated on both ends. Also at the end of your life you let go of your whole life because you die.....so what difference does it make if men specifically let go of women before they die? Or are you saying after a certain age when they still have a few years left they just have to end the relationship?

What are you talking about, I am not all that comforted by my uterus....It wouldn't fill the void left if say my current boyfriend was just ripped away from me in some crazy freak accident or something, that I have a uterus with baby making potential.

Also you make it sound like male confidence/self esteem is completely and entirely dependent on the female sex...maybe you see yourself as nothing and live only to find merit of being worthy of a women affection, so you need spirituality to add something more to your life. But I think plenty of males have a better grasp on themselves and see themselves as more than nothing before getting into a relationship and thus don't need spirituality to keep going when out of a relationship.