When and how to approach a stranger

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Sabreclaw
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08 Aug 2016, 10:38 am

I think when and how is never and can't respectively.

I lack real friends and look like garbage, so yeah, the last thing on earth I need is to convince people that I'm a creep on top of that.



John 35 Alabama
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08 Aug 2016, 10:41 am

Why do you think you look like garbage?

I just had a 5 minute talk with a girl at the grocery store. But, I'm starting to really believe everyone is beautiful.
And that's a hard feeling to describe.



Sabreclaw
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08 Aug 2016, 10:49 am

John 35 Alabama wrote:
Why do you think you look like garbage?

I just had a 5 minute talk with a girl at the grocery store. But, I'm starting to really believe everyone is beautiful.
And that's a hard feeling to describe.


Everyone thought I was ugly all through school, plus I can see it myself. Looking in the mirror it's clear as day, everything is just... wrong. There isn't one thing I can put my finger on. There's some kind of aura of ugliness to my entire body.

Not to mention being really socially awkward. Conversing with strangers would be an utter disaster.



John 35 Alabama
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11 Aug 2016, 5:43 pm

Sabreclaw, there are a WHOLE lot of people who just absolutely get off on making you feel that way. They don't want everyone to be beautiful, but only some people - and it's a lie. Everyone is beautiful, even me, and even you. There was another girl at the grocery store with teeth so frightening that I'm trying to get her out of my mind, and I still have to extend that umbrella over her, and say that she is beautiful as well. Just keep looking for the minority of people who see beauty in everyone. Otherwise, you're stuck with the jerks who can make you feel ugly just with a glance - that is often the only skill they master in life. It's how they get jobs. It's how they get ahead. They team up with other haters who join them in this covert bullying behavior, deny it the whole time, and drink their own lies until the day they die. I hope you took this post seriously, because I've spent my whole life trying not to think about those people.



nurseangela
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11 Aug 2016, 6:03 pm

John 35 Alabama wrote:
Most people with religion are quite godless.


What does this mean?


_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


John 35 Alabama
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12 Aug 2016, 9:25 am

^ I'm sorry. I was angry at the Church for rejecting me so much.



TallSmartBrooding
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12 Aug 2016, 10:00 am

rdos wrote:
Seems to be lots of contradictory things here. In #5 you claim to look for NDs / Aspies, but then you want to do small talk in #7 which many NDs dislike. In #2 you claim it's better if she is by herself, which I also disagree with because the natural ND courtship naturally starts when she is with other girls. Additionally, girls feel a lot safer when they are approached in a group by a single guy, for obvious reasons. However, that's something that NT guys rarely dare to do. They usually gang up in groups and target single girls when they do catcalling and similar things.

But my major objection to this idea is that approaching random strangers is an NT social trait and one that many NDs lack and cannot do. Thus, this scenario cannot be part of the natural ND courtship behavior, and so will rarely, if ever, work with NDs.


I disagree with your counters, not that I am saying everything is great with the previous points either. However, both are using broad terms which is the issue. People are still individuals and able to modify their behavior to a degree. Also, from practical experience if you have difficulty with small talk skip it, start with a serious conversations. Yes, more than half the time the person will not be interested, but when you fine a person that is all the better. As to approaching a girl at a bar, if they are in a group you have to be able to hold your own against the entire group so be prepared, approaching a girl who is alone can be done, just do your best not to be creepy. My advise get a couple bars that you like, get to know the bartenders, waitresses, etc, tip well, get comfortable with the staff, this will help you out. Now if you go to chat up a girl and come across weird many times they will ask a waitress or bartender if you are a creep, if you have built a rapport with the staff they most likely understand to some degree that you have social quirks, but as long as you have been a decent person will let them know you are an okay guy. I can not count how many times I did a faux pas and a bartender helped me out. Also if you are a good customer they will look out for you as well, I have had bartenders warn me about particular people to avoid. The biggest thing is practice, like any skill you have to build on it. Social skills are no different, we merely have a steeper learning curve.



John 35 Alabama
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12 Aug 2016, 12:19 pm

^ Thank you.

That's why I stayed away from that one.

I mean, does any guy wanna approach a group of girls?? Whoa..