Advice Please?

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Hi, so this will probably be all over the place, let me start off the beginning. Last fall semester I met this guy in one of my elective courses at uni and for some time we would chat casually before and after our discussion section. I'm huge on leftist politics and in our conversations things alluding to them would pop up, so a few months in I sneak in my political identity(communist) in our chats and he ecstatically says he is one too. He ends up asking for my number and we began this cycle of texting damn near daily. As the year goes on I invite him, along with other friends, over to my place to celebrate Thanksgiving. I keep inviting him over to my place to watch various movies and shows, and the two of us spend hours talking politics, memes, and media in person and over text. Especially over text we've shared some pretty personal things, hopes, fears, traumas, and we've helped each other through some darker times. I feel like I can confide with him things that few others could understand and he supports me a great deal in the work I do. Recently he told me about how he is diagnosed with Autism and I felt like opened a whole new gate for us because, although I don't have a professional diagnosis, I also live on the spectrum. I really like this guy, I would even say I would like to date him.
Problem is, 1) I don't know if he has dropped hints that he would like the same and I don't know if he's picked up any of my hints, 2) I've never dated nor asked someone to date in my life (like what the heck do I say??), and 3)the LAST thing I want to do is ruin this friendship. I just feel like we connect on so many things, he's smart, funny, adorably dorky, and incredibly kind. While I would never force anything between us, it just feels like I couldn't be nearly as happy with anyone else but him.

Hints I think he's left me (?):
-He's alluded to us being a political party of two
-He was really sweaty at one of our recent movie nights, but he works at an office job and he wasn't in any heat(?)- does that mean he was nervous about being with me?
-He gives me a lot of compliments- about my intelligence, cooking, etc, perhaps he's just being nice?
-He arrived 45 minutes early to the movie theater where I was going to meet him to watch a movie (I know this because I also arrived 45 minutes early)

Honestly these are probably s**t examples, but frankly, I think we're both bad at picking up hints.

I don't want this to be completely rose-tinted though:
- I usually have to be the one to make plans and invite him over to my place
-While he doesn't usually cancel, I think he double books himself sometimes and bails last minute
-Since we usually text everyday, sometimes I leave it up to him to text me and there are times where he doesn't text me all day(usually he does by the next day though). I feel like that sounds weird but I feel like I pester him sometimes and I want to give him some space. Our communication dips sometimes and then there will be times where we're just nonstop talking all day.

It sounds like you both may have problems picking up hints or giving them which are both very common for us on the spectrum. I'm afraid your options are to take the direct approach or do nothing & keep waiting indefinitely for him to make a very direct move. You may risk losing the friendship by making a more direct move but it's also possible that he may end the friendship if he's interested in you & thinks he's getting no where cuz it can s#ck ass to just be friends with someone when you like them romantically & feel like other person will never see you as more than a friend.

Personally, I know that I can respond to people fine but have huge problems being the first one to initiate anything, I think that can be the case for a lot of people on the spectrum due to never being sure if they are correct in picking up hints. Just because he has problems being proactive doesn't necessarily mean he has no interest. It seems like it might be up to you to ask directly, relying on subtle hints will probably not get you very far, he could easily also be agonizing himself whether you actually have interest.

As Nick said, there is some risk involved, he might not be prepared for a relationship, but you'd never find out unless you asked him. I think most people with ASD appreciate when people spell things out for them because it removes the difficulty of trying to decipher social cues.

Also, I'm pretty sure movie nights at home are already considered a date xd, so you shouldn't be worried that you're changing things up too much.

I'd have to agree, not only when people are bad at hints but if you like someone there is no harm in asking if they would like to date. I've asked friends before and some have said no but we continued being friends. Things do change slightly since romantically you won't be as invested but that doesn't mean a friendship has to change dramatically. Plus like previous posters pointed out, if you're doing movie nights with just the two of you, changes are good that there is a mutual interest. Especially if both of you are 45 minutes early.

It really seems like he likes you, to be honest.

Would you like to ask him out on a date? If so, maybe ask him if he would want to go out for coffee sometime. Or maybe out to a movie sometime.

If you want to ask him to go out somewhere with you, just wait until you know if he feels the same, but be careful.

Other than outright asking him on a date, many NT's "test the waters" to gauge interest, and if the other person isn't interested, they can just walk away, and nobody suffers any embarrassment, or awkwardness. Maybe trying some casual flirting, or try getting closer to him, and see how he reacts?

If the two of you are going to have a relationship, you are both going to have to learn to take the risk and say exactly what you want and what you mean. No hints. You can phrase things nicely, of course, but, based on my ASD son's experience with relationships, you aren't likely to operate successfully using hints.

The conversation I suggest is more or less as follows:
"Have you ever wondered if we should try being more than friends? Maybe date?"
"Whatever we do, I want us to agree that our friendship is valuable and worth keeping. So, if we were to try dating, and if it didn't work out, I would like us to commit to making the friendship continue."

If it turns out he isn't ready to date, or not currently interested in testing those waters, that doesn't mean he never will be. You can simply say something like, "well, if that ever changes, let me know and we can see where my head is at at that time. Meanwhile, I will move on and I hope I haven't made you uncomfortable. I value our friendship a lot and don't want to ever put it at risk."

I wish you luck and hope it can be the start to your love story.