Pet peeves in relationships?

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Katie0405
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30 Jul 2018, 7:54 am

Curious to see what are some pet peeves you have in your relationships. Mine, for example, is when my partner doesn't message me when they've gone home safely. I understand that they forget sometimes but it makes me worry a lot and then I start to overthink.



AngelRho
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30 Jul 2018, 12:50 pm

Romantic partners who think they can neuter me. I will set aside time for you. I’ll always ask and respect your opinion. But waiting until a critical moment to demand my attention and THEN punishing me when I can’t drop everything and run home to you? Gossiping about me to your friends or tolerating friends who make fun of me? And getting pissed off when I bring it up, like how DARE I expect someone I’m romantically involved support me in front of others? B¡+¢#ing about my friends but going absolutely apoplectic if I ever expressed concern about any one of HER friends? Expect me to give up everything and ONLY a pay attention to HER and HER “needs”?

Nope...get lost, lady.



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30 Jul 2018, 3:29 pm

AngelRho wrote:
Romantic partners who think they can neuter me. I will set aside time for you. I’ll always ask and respect your opinion. But waiting until a critical moment to demand my attention and THEN punishing me when I can’t drop everything and run home to you? Gossiping about me to your friends or tolerating friends who make fun of me? And getting pissed off when I bring it up, like how DARE I expect someone I’m romantically involved support me in front of others? B¡+¢#ing about my friends but going absolutely apoplectic if I ever expressed concern about any one of HER friends? Expect me to give up everything and ONLY a pay attention to HER and HER “needs”?

Nope...get lost, lady.


That one sounds like a real winner there. :P

I also hate it when a woman discusses our private life (intimate stuff) with friends, and family. Sometimes when those people act weird around you, or give you strange looks, you have to wonder what all she has told them about you this time.

Another pet peeve is double standards. The other person thinks they can do whatever they want, and it should be ok, but it's a different story when you do the same thing to them.



AngelRho
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30 Jul 2018, 7:15 pm

SilverStar wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
Romantic partners who think they can neuter me. I will set aside time for you. I’ll always ask and respect your opinion. But waiting until a critical moment to demand my attention and THEN punishing me when I can’t drop everything and run home to you? Gossiping about me to your friends or tolerating friends who make fun of me? And getting pissed off when I bring it up, like how DARE I expect someone I’m romantically involved support me in front of others? B¡+¢#ing about my friends but going absolutely apoplectic if I ever expressed concern about any one of HER friends? Expect me to give up everything and ONLY a pay attention to HER and HER “needs”?

Nope...get lost, lady.


That one sounds like a real winner there. :P

I also hate it when a woman discusses our private life (intimate stuff) with friends, and family. Sometimes when those people act weird around you, or give you strange looks, you have to wonder what all she has told them about you this time.

Another pet peeve is double standards. The other person thinks they can do whatever they want, and it should be ok, but it's a different story when you do the same thing to them.

Oh yeah, I hate that, too.

Truth be told, I only really dated 3 girls like that. MAYBE 4 girls. If there were others I really have no idea, but at least it never got back to me if it ever happened. I still struggle with other people gossiping about me, but there’s never any truth behind it, so it dies out without any help from me. I’ve had more people try to stay close to me and help me this year, so I feel like the worst is behind me. It’s bad enough that other people do that, but when it’s your GIRLFRIEND...

Those days are long gone. There’s really only one lady who still constantly hates on me. But I think the deal is she’s miserable and just wants everyone else to be miserable, too. I caught her trying to give my wife advice on how easy it is to get a divorce.

My wife went absolutely ballistic and went off on her. Thank God for GOOD women!



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30 Jul 2018, 7:20 pm

The silent treatment. It drives me up a wall when there is something wrong and I have to sit through several days of silent treatment until they begin to open up and explain the problem and why they are angry.


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30 Jul 2018, 9:20 pm

AngelRho wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
Romantic partners who think they can neuter me. I will set aside time for you. I’ll always ask and respect your opinion. But waiting until a critical moment to demand my attention and THEN punishing me when I can’t drop everything and run home to you? Gossiping about me to your friends or tolerating friends who make fun of me? And getting pissed off when I bring it up, like how DARE I expect someone I’m romantically involved support me in front of others? B¡+¢#ing about my friends but going absolutely apoplectic if I ever expressed concern about any one of HER friends? Expect me to give up everything and ONLY a pay attention to HER and HER “needs”?

Nope...get lost, lady.


That one sounds like a real winner there. :P

I also hate it when a woman discusses our private life (intimate stuff) with friends, and family. Sometimes when those people act weird around you, or give you strange looks, you have to wonder what all she has told them about you this time.

Another pet peeve is double standards. The other person thinks they can do whatever they want, and it should be ok, but it's a different story when you do the same thing to them.

Oh yeah, I hate that, too.

Truth be told, I only really dated 3 girls like that. MAYBE 4 girls. If there were others I really have no idea, but at least it never got back to me if it ever happened. I still struggle with other people gossiping about me, but there’s never any truth behind it, so it dies out without any help from me. I’ve had more people try to stay close to me and help me this year, so I feel like the worst is behind me. It’s bad enough that other people do that, but when it’s your GIRLFRIEND...

Those days are long gone. There’s really only one lady who still constantly hates on me. But I think the deal is she’s miserable and just wants everyone else to be miserable, too. I caught her trying to give my wife advice on how easy it is to get a divorce.

My wife went absolutely ballistic and went off on her. Thank God for GOOD women!


I have had people gossip and/or tell lies about me, but was usually from people at work...A whole negative bunch that works there. I try to avoid that negativity as much as possible, but sometimes it's easy to get caught up in it, though.



Katie0405
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01 Aug 2018, 10:41 pm

Talking about pet peeves is really triggering. Hahaha

I used to do silent treatment when my partner did something I didn't like. But after we did Regain, I figured that he really hates it. But, I still can't stop myself from doing the silent treatment from time to time. The only difference is the duration. I usually open up my concerns after an hour or so.



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02 Aug 2018, 7:09 am

Small things don’t bother me too much. I don’t like selfishness and controlling/abusive behavior.

I don’t like it when someone lacks empathy and doesn’t listen to me.


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02 Aug 2018, 9:29 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
Small things don’t bother me too much. I don’t like selfishness and controlling/abusive behavior.

I don’t like it when someone lacks empathy and doesn’t listen to me.


Same here.


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02 Aug 2018, 9:33 am

I am not a mind-reader, so why do people expect me to go by what they meant instead of what they have said?

Say what you mean, and mean what you say!



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02 Aug 2018, 4:11 pm

Obligatory good morning and good night texts for me. I don't like texting for a start, I'd rather talk on the phone or chat on the computer.
My problem with this that I HAVE to reply even when I don't want otherwise he will think I am not interested.
Also if a guy does this in the beginning but he stops sending texts or sometimes forgets it I will automatically think that he doesn't like me any more- he made the effort to text earlier so if he doesn't want to make the same effort it's because he doesn't like me that much/he got bored/he thinks he knows me and got me and he doesn't need to show it anymore.
Basically I'd rather not start any text conversations. Let's talk on the phone.



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02 Aug 2018, 7:27 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Small things don’t bother me too much. I don’t like selfishness and controlling/abusive behavior.

I don’t like it when someone lacks empathy and doesn’t listen to me.


I have known several of those types. After awhile, I realized it wasn't worth the hassle trying to make them care and understand.



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03 Aug 2018, 6:21 pm

Guys that play mind games, especially gaslighting. I’m a very straightforward person and take what people say seriously, so I find it very confusing when guys play mind games. It’s a part of abusive behavior which I mentioned above, but gaslighting is fresh in my mind today. I was thinking about starting a thread about it, but I need to get my thoughts straight.


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03 Aug 2018, 7:22 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Guys that play mind games, especially gaslighting. I’m a very straightforward person and take what people say seriously, so I find it very confusing when guys play mind games. It’s a part of abusive behavior which I mentioned above, but gaslighting is fresh in my mind today. I was thinking about starting a thread about it, but I need to get my thoughts straight.


I think Aspies tend to attract these types of people. Those people can usually detect vulnerable people from a mile away. The only way I know to avoid it, is to improve yourself, and learn how to spot them early on.



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05 Aug 2018, 10:58 am

Being accused of condescension, didacticism, gaslighting, lying, and being just plain mean when I stick to the facts and try do find a resolution during an argument with a person who is condescending, didactic, gaslighting, lying, being just plain mean, and who is more interested in expressing their anger and continuing old arguments than in getting the facts straight and trying to resolve the issue at hand.

Get your facts straight and don’t project your behaviors on me!



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21 Aug 2018, 5:17 am

Mine is when my partner decides to make major changes in our lives or things about our relationship without consulting me. I want input about things that will affect me & I want my opinion to be respected. it's one thing to disagree with me & there are times when either one of our needs should be more important to us than our partner's but it's another to automatically assume that I'll go along with whatever & then give me the take it or leave it attitude when I express disagreement or have concerns about the plan. I believe in discussing things & trying to find ways to work together or compromise because my partner & her needs are very important to me.


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