Page 3 of 5 [ 76 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,433
Location: Chez Quis

28 Nov 2018, 11:11 am

Movies aren't ideal for first dates, anyway. You can't talk or get to know each other. There's not much chance of getting to any ballparks with someone you've just met for the first time, or in a room of strangers. My advice is to invite her somewhere else for your date. Tell her you want to spend quality time getting to know each other and actually talking, since your relationship has been online to this point.

If you do go to the cinema for BR you'll feel resentment and she'll pick up on that straight away. It's not worth it because not only will you 'waste' your tickets but you'll alienate her as well.

Don't go to Wreck it Ralph with her. I don't know what that is but you should see that without her (after your non-cinema date).

Good luck.


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,433
Location: Chez Quis

28 Nov 2018, 11:18 am

Regarding compromise as a topic:

There are only four ways to solve any compromise issue in a relationship

1) Your way
2) The other person's way
3) A compromise of some sort, where you both get half of what you want
4) A totally new idea or plan


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


envirozentinel
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,175
Location: Keshron, Super-Zakhyria

28 Nov 2018, 11:28 am

You and her aren't compatible. Not by a long shot. If neither of you can budge, forget it. Waste of time if you can't even agree on a movie to watch, let alone getting any further.

You need to date someone more in line with your interests, but you'll find them to be as few and far between as an egg-laying rooster.

So at this point, try to decide if you want to see 2 movies on your own, or watch Bohemian Rhapsody together with her.


_________________
Why is a trailer behind a car but ahead of a movie?


my blog:
https://sentinel63.wordpress.com/


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

28 Nov 2018, 11:31 am

That's not right...calling me petty. I'm talking about compromising sometimes. Sometimes, you have to do that in relationships.

I would agree that she was being a little too insistent. Maybe you did "dodge a bullet." SHE wasn't willing to compromise.



Arganger
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Apr 2018
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,707
Location: Colorado

28 Nov 2018, 11:34 am

ThisAdamGuy wrote:
Look at all these petty little people.

Girl refuses to see a movie boy wants to see, demands he use his tickets how she wants? Perfectly fine.

Boy doesn't want to use his tickets to see a movie he doesnt want to see? Spawn of Satan himself, apparently.

In any case, I already told her I don't want to go see Bohemian Rhapsody. The responses were exactly what I was afraid of. "If you want to date me, you'll take me to Bohemian Rhapsody." "I don't want to meet you if you won't take me to Bohemian Rhapsody." "This is your last chance. If you don't take me to Bohemian Rhapsody, I'm not going to talk to you anymore."

Bullet dodged, I'd say.


I at least would give the exact same advice to a girl asking the same question, you are the one asking for advice so you are the one going to get it. In any relationship your partners needs and wants should come first, no matter which person you are.


_________________
Diagnosed autistic level 2, ODD, anxiety, dyspraxic, essential tremors, depression (Doubted), CAPD, hyper mobility syndrome
Suspected; PTSD (Treated, as my counselor did notice), possible PCOS, PMDD, Learning disabilities (Sure of it, unknown what they are), possibly something wrong with immune system (Sick about as much as I'm not) Possible EDS- hyper mobility type (Will be getting tested, suggested by doctor) dysautonomia


ThisAdamGuy
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 May 2015
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 692
Location: Northwest Arkansas

28 Nov 2018, 11:46 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
That's not right...calling me petty. I'm talking about compromising sometimes. Sometimes, you have to do that in relationships.

I would agree that she was being a little too insistent. Maybe you did "dodge a bullet." SHE wasn't willing to compromise.

I was referring more to Fnord and BeaArthur than you. Fnord is such a blatant troll I'm honestly shocked he hasn't been banned yet. BeaArthur gives bad advice and gets persnickety when you don't take it. I haven't listened to her since my dog nearly got killed by my neighbor's much bigger, aggressive dog, and she told me that arguing with them about it meant I "cared more about being right than being happy."


_________________
Autistic author of fantasy novels. Read them for free HERE!


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

28 Nov 2018, 12:03 pm

How come you don't like "Bohemian Rhapsody," anyway? Just curious.

No judgment. Just curious.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 28 Nov 2018, 12:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

envirozentinel
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,175
Location: Keshron, Super-Zakhyria

28 Nov 2018, 12:08 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
That's not right...calling me petty. I'm talking about compromising sometimes. Sometimes, you have to do that in relationships.

I would agree that she was being a little too insistent. Maybe you did "dodge a bullet." SHE wasn't willing to compromise.

,

It wasn't you the OP was referring to as petty..

There were one or two other users that he meant. Some of them went a bit far.


_________________
Why is a trailer behind a car but ahead of a movie?


my blog:
https://sentinel63.wordpress.com/


Last edited by envirozentinel on 28 Nov 2018, 12:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.: Added words

ThisAdamGuy
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 May 2015
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 692
Location: Northwest Arkansas

28 Nov 2018, 12:21 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
How come you don't like "Bohemian Rhapsody," anyway? Just curious.

No judgment. Just curious.

It's just not what I'm into. I'll listen to Queen when they come on the radio, but I prefer action/adventure movies. I'm they guy who went by himself to see Zootopia and Kung Fu Panda 3 by himself, and I'm desperately looking for a copy of Mortal Engines so I can read it before the movie comes out (assuming I can afford to/still have a spare ticket to see it by then)


_________________
Autistic author of fantasy novels. Read them for free HERE!


Magna
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,932

28 Nov 2018, 12:26 pm

Being flexible and open to new things when you're dating someone increases the probability that you'll find relationship success and vice versa. That's how people develop mutually beneficial relationships and sort out whether they're compatible or not.

It ain't gonna kill ya to go to the movie she wants to see. Also, think of it this way. If you go to the movie she wants to see and on a later date you suggest a movie and she says no to your suggestion then you can further evaluate compatibility or lack thereof.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

28 Nov 2018, 12:27 pm

I can dig what you're saying. And there are women who like the sort of movies you like.

But there are some women who want a more "cultural" experience. They want to see something that's sort of literary, sort of elegant. And some of these women, otherwise, would be "just your cup of tea." They might be kind, generous, pretty, down-to-earth, etc.

This person you mentioned seemed overbearing. It was "her way, or the highway." You don't want that kind of woman, just like a woman doesn't want that sort of man.

But there might be others who fulfill, mostly, what you desire, but are just not into the "Wreck-it-Ralph" type of movie. They might want to see "cinema," rather than merely "a movie."



BeaArthur
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Aug 2015
Posts: 5,798

28 Nov 2018, 1:54 pm

AdamGuy, you are a very rigid person. Do you know that about yourself?

As for my bad advice - it was the same advice everyone else here gave you. So I guess their advice was bad, also.

I'm glad you dodged the bullet on this one... hell, if you hadn't been careful you might very well have married this girl!

</irony>


_________________
A finger in every pie.


ThisAdamGuy
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 May 2015
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 692
Location: Northwest Arkansas

28 Nov 2018, 2:00 pm

BeaArthur wrote:
As for my bad advice - it was the same advice everyone else here gave you. So I guess their advice was bad, also.

And you are a very bitter person, did you know that? When someone doesnt take your advice, you immediately start throwing around insults. The only other person who did that here was Fnord who, as has been said, only pretends to help people as an excuse to make fun of them.


_________________
Autistic author of fantasy novels. Read them for free HERE!


VegetableMan
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,208
Location: Illinois

28 Nov 2018, 2:12 pm

Gosh! You ask for advice, then rather than thanking everybody for their input, you start acting childish. That's such a rare occurrence in this forum.


_________________
What do you call a hot dog in a gangster suit?

Oscar Meyer Lansky


ThisAdamGuy
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 May 2015
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 692
Location: Northwest Arkansas

28 Nov 2018, 2:20 pm

VegetableMan wrote:
Gosh! You ask for advice, then rather than thanking everybody for their input, you start acting childish. That's such a rare occurrence in this forum.

You're late. The part where BeaArthur and Fnord went on a page long tangent about how I'd never reach second base has been deleted. The "childish" comments were my reaction to that.


_________________
Autistic author of fantasy novels. Read them for free HERE!


ThisAdamGuy
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 May 2015
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 692
Location: Northwest Arkansas

28 Nov 2018, 2:30 pm

But seriously, I don't understand any of this. I offered to split two movie tickets, my movie tickets, to take her to see a movie. Her immediate response was "That's not good enough, I want to choose the movie too, and I don't care if it's one you don't want to see." She's telling me that being given a gift isn't enough for her, I have to relinquish control over the situation entirely in order to make her happy. To me, that's the definition of spoiled entitlement. But everyone here is acting like I'm the entitled one. Like, how dare I not immediately cave to her demands on the first date, when I barely even know her, and give her the impression that I can be bullied into doing whatever she wants with a little pressure? Am I the only one who feels like that's the wrong way to go about starting a relationship?


_________________
Autistic author of fantasy novels. Read them for free HERE!