Friends zone and not understanding women
Hmmm and the 'I like you - now what' - I don't know why that didn't work. Were the answers unclear? Were the answers the usual vague 'I like you as a friend'?
Wow. You bring up a good point. I kinda figured NT's know these things already, but you make it pretty clear it won't work that way. Maybe at some point I should say, 'I have a hard time reading non-verbal language, so it helps me a lot if you don't hint at things non-verbally and just say them' or something like that. I can even avoid an admission of Aspies if I say it right.
_________________
When you know you don't have all the answers, you begin to ask the right questions.
-Dr. Erik Selvig, Thor
http://aspiespy.blogspot.com/
That kind of rocks, actually.
If only the whole world were so blunt.
Ha, yeah, I did this a time or two in high school. Everyone else thought I was crazy, showing my cards like that. I thought it made sense to just be honest, and since I didn't know how to play the social card game, just show them. Most girls were far too surprised and taken off guard to respond. I wasn't going to say this over an email or instant messenger, so I did it face to face.
_________________
When you know you don't have all the answers, you begin to ask the right questions.
-Dr. Erik Selvig, Thor
http://aspiespy.blogspot.com/
ValentineWiggin
Veteran
Joined: 15 May 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,907
Location: Beneath my cat's paw
I wasn't going to say this over an email or instant messenger, so I did it face to face.
Gah! We need our own planet where that's the norm.
_________________
"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest."
I wasn't going to say this over an email or instant messenger, so I did it face to face.
Gah! We need our own planet where that's the norm.
Hehe, check out the link in my signature. I'm starting a new blog on my life as a spy for Aspergia. It's as if I was a deep cover, sleeper cell, for 25 years. I don't mean the humans harm, I simply wish to understand them, as I am stuck on their planet.
_________________
When you know you don't have all the answers, you begin to ask the right questions.
-Dr. Erik Selvig, Thor
http://aspiespy.blogspot.com/
But the idea of me dying alone as an old man never having a wife/children and my entire romantic life having consisted of one night visits to hookers is just plain sad
Same here. That's just pathetic. Having to pay someone. I want someone who wants me for me.
Everyone pays for it. Everyone wants something from someone. It is how humans are wired.
Very true,no denying that we all use other people in our day to day lives.We might not want to admit it or even realize we're doing it,but that is human nature.
With that said let me point out that the idea of paying for the sex is not necessarily the issue here.I've been tempted several times to go for it with a pro just to see how the experience feels.I guess it's mainly my desire to please God that keeps me from doing it though.
No..the main issue is that while I do want my personal space I also desire to have a good long term relationship and children of my own.guess you might say that although I don't let it out all the time my biggest inner need is love and affection.Unlike some potential Aspies I love the thought of hugging a woman tightly and snuggling for hours in the bed and couch.I love the thought of kissing licking,and exploring every bit of her body to bring her to ecstasy.Dealing out affection and attention definitely ain't the problem for me.It's the fact that when I'm put in a social environment I either feel really nervous or my brain shuts down from sensory over load.My idea of 'getting to know' a girl is having a one on one talk in some calm un social setting like in the woods.
Maybe if I can ever find a girl that shares the same qualities things will be better for me.Meeting at big gatherings and social events just doesn't seem to be my thing.
But the idea of me dying alone as an old man never having a wife/children and my entire romantic life having consisted of one night visits to hookers is just plain sad
Same here. That's just pathetic. Having to pay someone. I want someone who wants me for me.
Everyone pays for it. Everyone wants something from someone. It is how humans are wired.
Very true,no denying that we all use other people in our day to day lives.We might not want to admit it or even realize we're doing it,but that is human nature.
With that said let me point out that the idea of paying for the sex is not necessarily the issue here.I've been tempted several times to go for it with a pro just to see how the experience feels.I guess it's mainly my desire to please God that keeps me from doing it though.
No..the main issue is that while I do want my personal space I also desire to have a good long term relationship and children of my own.guess you might say that although I don't let it out all the time my biggest inner need is love and affection.Unlike some potential Aspies I love the thought of hugging a woman tightly and snuggling for hours in the bed and couch.I love the thought of kissing licking,and exploring every bit of her body to bring her to ecstasy.Dealing out affection and attention definitely ain't the problem for me.It's the fact that when I'm put in a social environment I either feel really nervous or my brain shuts down from sensory over load.My idea of 'getting to know' a girl is having a one on one talk in some calm un social setting like in the woods.
Maybe if I can ever find a girl that shares the same qualities things will be better for me.Meeting at big gatherings and social events just doesn't seem to be my thing.
Take the red pill...
But the idea of me dying alone as an old man never having a wife/children and my entire romantic life having consisted of one night visits to hookers is just plain sad
Same here. That's just pathetic. Having to pay someone. I want someone who wants me for me.
Everyone pays for it. Everyone wants something from someone. It is how humans are wired.
Very true,no denying that we all use other people in our day to day lives.We might not want to admit it or even realize we're doing it,but that is human nature.
With that said let me point out that the idea of paying for the sex is not necessarily the issue here.I've been tempted several times to go for it with a pro just to see how the experience feels.I guess it's mainly my desire to please God that keeps me from doing it though.
No..the main issue is that while I do want my personal space I also desire to have a good long term relationship and children of my own.guess you might say that although I don't let it out all the time my biggest inner need is love and affection.Unlike some potential Aspies I love the thought of hugging a woman tightly and snuggling for hours in the bed and couch.I love the thought of kissing licking,and exploring every bit of her body to bring her to ecstasy.Dealing out affection and attention definitely ain't the problem for me.It's the fact that when I'm put in a social environment I either feel really nervous or my brain shuts down from sensory over load.My idea of 'getting to know' a girl is having a one on one talk in some calm un social setting like in the woods.
Maybe if I can ever find a girl that shares the same qualities things will be better for me.Meeting at big gatherings and social events just doesn't seem to be my thing.
Take the red pill...
Will it kill me?
that wasn't the exact solution I was looking for
But the idea of me dying alone as an old man never having a wife/children and my entire romantic life having consisted of one night visits to hookers is just plain sad
Same here. That's just pathetic. Having to pay someone. I want someone who wants me for me.
Everyone pays for it. Everyone wants something from someone. It is how humans are wired.
Very true,no denying that we all use other people in our day to day lives.We might not want to admit it or even realize we're doing it,but that is human nature.
With that said let me point out that the idea of paying for the sex is not necessarily the issue here.I've been tempted several times to go for it with a pro just to see how the experience feels.I guess it's mainly my desire to please God that keeps me from doing it though.
No..the main issue is that while I do want my personal space I also desire to have a good long term relationship and children of my own.guess you might say that although I don't let it out all the time my biggest inner need is love and affection.Unlike some potential Aspies I love the thought of hugging a woman tightly and snuggling for hours in the bed and couch.I love the thought of kissing licking,and exploring every bit of her body to bring her to ecstasy.Dealing out affection and attention definitely ain't the problem for me.It's the fact that when I'm put in a social environment I either feel really nervous or my brain shuts down from sensory over load.My idea of 'getting to know' a girl is having a one on one talk in some calm un social setting like in the woods.
Maybe if I can ever find a girl that shares the same qualities things will be better for me.Meeting at big gatherings and social events just doesn't seem to be my thing.
Take the red pill...
Will it kill me?
that wasn't the exact solution I was looking for
It sets you free and clarifies things.
But the idea of me dying alone as an old man never having a wife/children and my entire romantic life having consisted of one night visits to hookers is just plain sad
Same here. That's just pathetic. Having to pay someone. I want someone who wants me for me.
Everyone pays for it. Everyone wants something from someone. It is how humans are wired.
Very true,no denying that we all use other people in our day to day lives.We might not want to admit it or even realize we're doing it,but that is human nature.
With that said let me point out that the idea of paying for the sex is not necessarily the issue here.I've been tempted several times to go for it with a pro just to see how the experience feels.I guess it's mainly my desire to please God that keeps me from doing it though.
No..the main issue is that while I do want my personal space I also desire to have a good long term relationship and children of my own.guess you might say that although I don't let it out all the time my biggest inner need is love and affection.Unlike some potential Aspies I love the thought of hugging a woman tightly and snuggling for hours in the bed and couch.I love the thought of kissing licking,and exploring every bit of her body to bring her to ecstasy.Dealing out affection and attention definitely ain't the problem for me.It's the fact that when I'm put in a social environment I either feel really nervous or my brain shuts down from sensory over load.My idea of 'getting to know' a girl is having a one on one talk in some calm un social setting like in the woods.
Maybe if I can ever find a girl that shares the same qualities things will be better for me.Meeting at big gatherings and social events just doesn't seem to be my thing.
Take the red pill...
Will it kill me?
that wasn't the exact solution I was looking for
It sets you free and clarifies things.
Believe me...if there was a pill that could at least temporarily release me from these kind of feelings I would take it.
Will it kill me?
that wasn't the exact solution I was looking for
It's a reference to the film The Matrix.
I can't tell you the number of times I find red and blue pills in all matters of life, and wish I could just live a lie that I fully believe. I think Cypher had it right, ignorance is bliss.
On a side note, can anyone believe The Matrix came out TWO decades ago?
_________________
When you know you don't have all the answers, you begin to ask the right questions.
-Dr. Erik Selvig, Thor
http://aspiespy.blogspot.com/
Will it kill me?
that wasn't the exact solution I was looking for
It's a reference to the film The Matrix.
Lol..yeah I know.
I was just playing around with RICKY5 a bit
On a side note, can anyone believe The Matrix came out TWO decades ago?
I don't think it's been quite that long yet.
If I remember quickly the first movie came out in either 1997 or 1999
Will it kill me?
that wasn't the exact solution I was looking for
It's a reference to the film The Matrix.
Lol..yeah I know.
I was just playing around with RICKY5 a bit
On a side note, can anyone believe The Matrix came out TWO decades ago?
I don't think it's been quite that long yet.
If I remember quickly the first movie came out in either 1997 or 1999
Well, maybe not 20 years, but it wasn't in the 2000-2010 decade, or in 2011-2020 decade, it was 1999.
_________________
When you know you don't have all the answers, you begin to ask the right questions.
-Dr. Erik Selvig, Thor
http://aspiespy.blogspot.com/
Will it kill me?
that wasn't the exact solution I was looking for
It's a reference to the film The Matrix.
Lol..yeah I know.
I was just playing around with RICKY5 a bit
On a side note, can anyone believe The Matrix came out TWO decades ago?
I don't think it's been quite that long yet.
If I remember quickly the first movie came out in either 1997 or 1999
Well, maybe not 20 years, but it wasn't in the 2000-2010 decade, or in 2011-2020 decade, it was 1999.
Oh ok...I see what ya meant now
youcameandchanged
Raven
Joined: 11 Jul 2018
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 106
Location: It's for me to know, and for you to find out
The only aspie guys I know i'm friends with. One of them told me once that he had feelings for me but I was very surprised because he'd never even tried to make a move at me. This is very common with aspergers I think based on all aspies that I have met including myself. If you don't make a move the girl is gonna assume you're not interested in her and move on, but she might still stay friends with you if you're a really good friend.
I, as a woman, have this problem too. I can't tell when the moment is right for making a move or wether the other person would like me to or not so out of respect I don't do anything, and also because I couldn't take the awkwardness if he didn't think the timing was right. In past relationships it was my exes who made the first move but it took much longer than it would probably take for most people because they were so careful, unsure of wether I was truly interested or not because I don't flirt or touch the guy I like a lot like NT girls do.
Aspies I think are often very neutral in their emotions, we're hard to read and that complicates dating. If you get a date - give the girl compliments and give her a kiss at the end of the date if you can tell that she had a fun time.
Us women won't tell you what is okay to do. Asking "can I kiss you" or her going "you can kiss me now" ruins the moment. It's only exciting and romantic if it happens on its own, asking would kill the moment instantly. Usually though if you ask someone on a date and she keeps saying yes to new dates she IS interested so USE that and make a move. It's pretty simple. If someone isn't into you they won't agree to date and if you ask someone on dates but don't do anything it's insulting.
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