Don't put women on a pedestal

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Can we put them on a table instead?

Well if both know it's mutual, neither one acting on it makes it all pointless.

See that girl over there, she likes me and I know it and I like her and she knows it, we could go out and being in a relationship we both want but instead for years we just stare at each other.
Lol

Not at all. That's the best part of it so no sense in skipping that. Once you had sex, moved together and had kids, you have pretty much done everything, so nothing left to look forward to.

Yes, and after that, you are in a relationship for years. While the ones that had sex and moved together within a few months or so have nothing to look forward to.

Except many more years of sex and being together

I don't like being on a pedestal. When a guy puts me on a pedestal and he knows that I'm an F to M who can't afford the surgery and counseling, I get a really sick feeling on the inside. That doesn't happen very often though. Most guys know to stay away from me just by looking at the way I dress topped with a Schultz of one type or another.

I should point out that at a distance can mean a lot more than just staring at each other. There are so many things you can do without sitting down talking. Just use your imagination. The initial issie usually is to figure out each other's habits as that is useful for how to setup meetings. In schools its easy. You could meet during breaks. Maybe in the library or a corridor.

In relationships, many NDs want the company of a partner but also a lot of alone time. The thing is, a distance love story fulfills all these basic needs. The most important thing of a distance love story is to be close to your love, just as it is in a relationship.

When a mind-to-mind connection develops, you can decide where to meet. We meet in places like downtown, in parks, at the sea or at shopping centres. We walk / bike a lot, which keeps us active and fit. In fact, I think few people in relationships have an active lifestyle like this and which brings a lot of joy.

LOL

If only...

In all seriousness, though, sly, I think you’re right. What we want is a warm body in close proximity. That’s just objective reality. Staring across the room—well, ok that’s something, I guess. But “distance relationships...”?

Warm, living bodies in your personal space are REAL. Everything else is just fairies and unicorns. Objective reality or gtfo.

I suppose we have different preferences. I have a lot of warm, living bodies in my personal space, especially when I'm out dancing, but that doesn't mean so much to me. I could just as well cuddle up with an animal if that was all I needed, and you can buy those. Or a prostitute, if you prefer the human variant, although that has a per-usage cost.

And objective reality doesn't give me passionate feelings. After all, objective reality is simply the cold reality, devoid of dreams, strong feelings & passion. Maybe you can live only in the cold, objective reality with real, warm bodies in your personal space, but that is not quite enough for me to consider it worthwhile.

Objective reality is the REASON behind dreams and passion. It’s what motivates us. I don’t care if I just dream about sex. I want to actually HAVE sex. I don’t want to simply have passion. I want to BE PASSIONATE about the object of my desire.

Hopes and dreams are often connected to or associated with something in the physical world that inspire them—work/hobbies, other people, personal possessions, the internet, etc. Without material stimulus, there’s nothing to hope or dream about. There’s no REASON to have strong feelings, nothing to have strong feelings about.

“Strong feelings” without objective reality is delusion.

We don’t want to be delusional here. Warm bodies or gtfo.

So rdos posts tend to take threads off track. We all start trying to figure out what he's actually suggesting.

I'm sure we all have a soft spot for him because he seems pretty genuine, but should we keep on devolving into this conversation.

All the threads in L&D turn into a discussion about the same things and pet points of interest and gripes of a handful of members.

I don't care about thus thread. I regret starting in in the first place. Ive bedn out with this gut agsjn and we had a nice time. We have a really good rapport.

I'm a unicorn and my objective reality has involved several "distance relationships" that were intensely fulfilling and very decidedly REAL. Limiting yourself to warm, living bodies in your personal space really cuts out a WHOLE lot of options. Just saying...

I second that, though I have yet to ascertain what variety of mythical creature best describes me.

Don't put her on a pedestal, stupid, put her in your bed

How is that objective?

I’ve had online relationships through chat and, later on, virtual worlds. I wasn’t exactly looking for meaningful relationship, so I was amused by how women might act all devoted one day and ghost me the next. I even “caught” some of them, um...cheating(?) on me for lack of a better term. There were times I became aware of being catfished. It didn’t upset me so much because it was just time-wasting entertainment for me.

There’s nothing wrong with that and I know firsthand that it CAN in the proper context be enriching.

The problem with it is that some people confuse the fantasy with reality and chase the fantasy like it’s real. They get hurt when they find the girl of their dreams flirting with some other guy. They get hurt when they get ghosted. Or maybe they actually meet up and she’s too fat or he’s to bald or their too old or don’t have enough teeth...

For someone who wants a real relationship in objective terms, this just isn’t good enough. We want to meet f2f, have dinner, see a movie, or whatever IN PERSON. We want to actually hold hands, kiss, or otherwise. We want to actually get married and start a family. There are any number of things we want, maybe not all the same things, but it has to be objectively real. Not phone sex. Not cute text messages. Not X-rated animations in Second Life. I mean actual warm bodies physically, tangibly present.