She wants to see me to 'speak'.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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04 May 2019, 5:46 am

My ex - the one who cheated me after 2 years - contacted me via a workaround means, like out of blue (since I blocked her everywhere) - and she said she wanna meet me in person so we can 'speak' and to get her 'peace of mind'. :x
There was no communication between us since January.

I am so upset all over again over this because I was starting to forget her; now it's like she's haunting my mind again now.



Amity
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04 May 2019, 6:34 am

Her peace of mind...

Not yours, if she cared for you, she wouldn't want to hurt you anymore than she already has, that's just it though, it's all about her.
Personally I'd tell her she has been blocked for a reason, and that you want her to stop contacting you. The relationship is over, she has to move on and deal with the mess she made, without the opportunity to use you again to make herself feel better.



nick007
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04 May 2019, 8:05 am

Amity wrote:
Her peace of mind...

Not yours, if she cared for you, she wouldn't want to hurt you anymore than she already has, that's just it though, it's all about her.
Personally I'd tell her she has been blocked for a reason, and that you want her to stop contacting you. The relationship is over, she has to move on and deal with the mess she made, without the opportunity to use you again to make herself feel better.
Well said but Boo shouldn't even give her the dignity of a response. If she contact him online, just ignore & block if possible to block. If she's contracting him through someone else, Boo should just tell the person he won't talk about any of it & leave it at that.


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The Grand Inquisitor
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04 May 2019, 8:09 am

Amity wrote:
Her peace of mind...

Not yours, if she cared for you, she wouldn't want to hurt you anymore than she already has, that's just it though, it's all about her.
Personally I'd tell her she has been blocked for a reason, and that you want her to stop contacting you. The relationship is over, she has to move on and deal with the mess she made, without the opportunity to use you again to make herself feel better.

I agree with the first part of what you said, but if I were Boo, I wouldn't even dignify her message with a reply.

Boo, just keep ignoring and blocking her. Obviously it doesn't sit well with her, so let her guilt fester.



The_Face_of_Boo
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04 May 2019, 11:07 am

My response yesterday was "I'll think about it".

I'll just leave it at that.



BenderRodriguez
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04 May 2019, 12:00 pm

nick007 wrote:
Amity wrote:
Her peace of mind...

Not yours, if she cared for you, she wouldn't want to hurt you anymore than she already has, that's just it though, it's all about her.
Personally I'd tell her she has been blocked for a reason, and that you want her to stop contacting you. The relationship is over, she has to move on and deal with the mess she made, without the opportunity to use you again to make herself feel better.
Well said but Boo shouldn't even give her the dignity of a response. If she contact him online, just ignore & block if possible to block. If she's contracting him through someone else, Boo should just tell the person he won't talk about any of it & leave it at that.

QFT


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Fnord
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04 May 2019, 12:09 pm

I'm guessing here...

She is more interested in either telling you off one last time, or seeing if she still has any emotional "hooks" in you that she can use to manipulate you into doing something for her. Either way, she is more interested in her own well-being than in yours.

Despite your stone-walling, she may show up at any time, at any place, and insist on speaking to (not 'with') you, so be careful. Screen your calls, install a peep-hole or video camera at your front and back doors, and get into and out of your car quickly wherever you go. Always have someone with you in public who can intervene or call the police if things get dicey.

You know ... the usual ...



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04 May 2019, 12:21 pm

Boo why is it that you aren't clear about not wanting any more contact with this woman?
I'm not even asking this for me, but so you think about it for your own sake, because apparently there is something within you that prevents you from acting in a self-loving manner.

She has betrayed you, lied to you, hurt you, proven by herself that there is no love for you on her part, over and over again. And now she has returned once more, trying to manipulate you for yet another round, and your response is "I'll think about it".

Not "I don't want to talk with you. Please never contact me again".
Not "This relationship is over and I have no desire to talk about it. Please stop contacting me".

No, instead "I'll think about it".
I bet she won't stop if you don't put your foot down, but at the same time you don't seem to be willing to.



The Grand Inquisitor
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04 May 2019, 12:34 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
My response yesterday was "I'll think about it".

I'll just leave it at that.

Well she did cheat on you, so if you really wanted to, you could be an absolute pr!ck and arrange to meet her somewhere and just not show up.



Fnord
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04 May 2019, 12:39 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
My response yesterday was "I'll think about it". I'll just leave it at that.
Well she did cheat on you, so if you really wanted to, you could be an absolute pr!ck and arrange to meet her somewhere and just not show up.
No, that's not absolute pr!ck!shness -- such a person would arrange to meet her somewhere that any sensible woman concerned for her health and safety would not go.



The_Face_of_Boo
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04 May 2019, 12:41 pm

Earthling wrote:
Boo why is it that you aren't clear about not wanting any more contact with this woman?
I'm not even asking this for me, but so you think about it for your own sake, because apparently there is something within you that prevents you from acting in a self-loving manner.

She has betrayed you, lied to you, hurt you, proven by herself that there is no love for you on her part, over and over again. And now she has returned once more, trying to manipulate you for yet another round, and your response is "I'll think about it".

Not "I don't want to talk with you. Please never contact me again".
Not "This relationship is over and I have no desire to talk about it. Please stop contacting me".

No, instead "I'll think about it".
I bet she won't stop if you don't put your foot down, but at the same time you don't seem to be willing to.



You're right, It was just totally unexpected at that moment.

I'll just go on with the ghosting if the attempts again.



The Grand Inquisitor
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04 May 2019, 12:43 pm

Fnord wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
My response yesterday was "I'll think about it". I'll just leave it at that.
Well she did cheat on you, so if you really wanted to, you could be an absolute pr!ck and arrange to meet her somewhere and just not show up.
No, that's not absolute pr!ck!shness -- such a person would arrange to meet her somewhere that any sensible woman concerned for her health and safety would not go.

Fair point. Maybe he could tell her he's moved an hour or two away from where he used to be and make her go for a nice drive only to realise that he ain't showing up. She might just get the hint that he wants nothing to do with her then.



The_Face_of_Boo
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09 May 2019, 4:18 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Fnord wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
My response yesterday was "I'll think about it". I'll just leave it at that.
Well she did cheat on you, so if you really wanted to, you could be an absolute pr!ck and arrange to meet her somewhere and just not show up.
No, that's not absolute pr!ck!shness -- such a person would arrange to meet her somewhere that any sensible woman concerned for her health and safety would not go.

Fair point. Maybe he could tell her he's moved an hour or two away from where he used to be and make her go for a nice drive only to realise that he ain't showing up. She might just get the hint that he wants nothing to do with her then.


Well, I was a total prick before, I did ruin her relationship with her current BF because of the revenge thing I did.

When she talked to me, she mentioned she 'got her Karma'.

Bumped into her sister the other day, it turned out she (the ex) is miserable with that new guy, treating her like a pet and not allowing her to have any social life outside him.

Oh well, not sure how to feel about all this.



magz
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09 May 2019, 4:38 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Well, I was a total prick before, I did ruin her relationship with her current BF because of the revenge thing I did.

When she talked to me, she mentioned she 'got her Karma'.

Bumped into her sister the other day, it turned out she (the ex) is miserable with that new guy, treating her like a pet and not allowing her to have any social life outside him.

Oh well, not sure how to feel about all this.

Her life. Her bad choices. Her consequences.
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Fnord
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09 May 2019, 8:32 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
... Bumped into her sister the other day, it turned out she (the ex) is miserable with that new guy, treating her like a pet and not allowing her to have any social life outside him. Oh well, not sure how to feel about all this.
I would feel suspicious if I ever "bumped into" my ex's sister at the same time that my ex would be trying to arrange a meeting with me, especially if the sister related a (false) tale of sadness and regret regarding the ex's feeling toward me. It would be too much more than a mere coincidence.

Be careful, Boo. I think you're being manipulated -- tag-teamed, in fact. Or, to put it another way...

"Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice, shame on me!"

Don't let them fool you.



The_Face_of_Boo
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09 May 2019, 9:52 am

Fnord wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
... Bumped into her sister the other day, it turned out she (the ex) is miserable with that new guy, treating her like a pet and not allowing her to have any social life outside him. Oh well, not sure how to feel about all this.
I would feel suspicious if I ever "bumped into" my ex's sister at the same time that my ex would be trying to arrange a meeting with me, especially if the sister related a (false) tale of sadness and regret regarding the ex's feeling toward me. It would be too much more than a mere coincidence.

Be careful, Boo. I think you're being manipulated -- tag-teamed, in fact. Or, to put it another way...

"Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice, shame on me!"

Don't let them fool you.



I bump into her sister quite a lot because she lives nearby.

But yeah, everything is possible.