"Just be friendly."

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^^you do have that aspect of things.

But I believe, in urban areas (Within a US context, yet probably within other contexts as well), people frequently marry people they meet in college or on the job.

Or are introduced to somebody by friends or relatives.

You find the “church thing” mostly in the South (of the US), or in more traditional rural families in the Heartland.

I’ve had to take unconventional routes to find love. I never would have made it had I stuck to “normal, traditional” routes.

Amen to that!

Bruh! there's plenty of Asian girls to go around. If I had my time again I'd jump straight into that pool when I hit puberty, so many beautiful Asian girls and so little time

I believe in traditional family values up to a point. I guess it depends on what one means by that. I’ve never cheated on anybody.

I believe in relationships based on equality. I don’t believe in clearly defined gender roles, and I’m not that keen on the idea of marriage.

A committed, monogamous relationship would be ideal, though.

I am not against that at all. The problem is that I didn't go to the public school in the city I live in but instead a Christian private school until the second part of the 8th grade where I was made to go to a redneck school so I didn't get to interact with kids from the Asian, Indian, and Arabic communities thus missing out on expanding my social network.

It's kinda hard to have "good family values" apart from a larger sense of community that your family fits into.

Church or another religious body can fill that role for religious people. Nonreligious people need something else to fill that role -- a need that many people in the West don't even recognize, or have no idea how to fill even if they do recognize it.

Mainstream modern mass culture doesn't cut it. It's too superficial, and it's not something the vast majority of people can participate in directly. And it's not a stabilizing influence even on the people who CAN participate directly -- the stars -- who, if anything, have an incentive to have endless drama in their lives, as a way to keep themselves in the news.

There are organizations intended to fill a church-like role for atheists: the Ethical Culture Society, the Sunday Assembly, and various organizations with the word "atheist" or "humanist"/"humanism" in their names. The vast majority of atheists do not feel drawn to participate in these organizations, however.

Another way to fill that role is participation in a subculture of people who face common challenges. Thus the autistic community, if it were to become much better organized, could fill that role to at least some extent. Only problem is, due to its lopsided male-to-female ratio, it wouldn't, by itself, be very helpful to the men in finding partners.

(What MIGHT work, as an indirect way to bring SOME autistic men together with a pool of available women, might be for someone to launch a support organization for single and divorced PARENTS of autistic children and recruit autistic adults to work as volunteers in fund-raising events, etc. The single and divorced parents who join such an organization would, in all likelihood, be mostly women. Of course the only men who could appeal to these women would be men who have steady jobs and an ability/willingness to help care for children.)

I, too, certainly don't believe in traditional "family values" in the sense of fixed gender roles. But I think it's important for a family to have an agreed-upon set of values that can help stabilize the family. Exactly what these values are can vary widely from one family to another, but simply valuing a committed relationship is probably not enough.

One of my detractors on another forum hates Western women because he thinks they are all "sluts" who have become too "feminized" and "liberal" so he went abroad to find a wife in a "non-feminist Christian culture". Oddly, he had no interest in the Bible Belt (He's from the New England area) but even after getting a wife, he came back with her to the US and he praises Trump. It's really odd how his thought processes work.

I think that being in a relationship with someone I love who has similar moral values and ethics and views the relationship as an equal partnership would be enough.

It’s not the end of the world if a relationship ends, either. Long term happiness is what’s important. Sure, there would be bad days, but if there’s more bad than good, what’s the point?

That's at least a good start, in my opinion. Hopefully the "similar values and ethics" are, at the very least, things that both you and your partner have put a lot of thought into, and not just blindly copied from pop culture, which too often lends itself to some intrinsically de-stabilizing values, in my opinion. (An example of the latter is the glorification of "love at first sight.")

I don’t know too much about pop culture so that’s not very likely. LOL

I’m a serious kind of gal.

I do believe, to a certain extent, in “love at first sight.”

Yeah been there done that...divorced women with kids are pickier than single women due to i) having had a bad experience with males and ii) being focused on their children they tend to want a man who can bond with their child which in my experience is damn hard.

There are of course women who ditch their kids for a male partner but they tend not be the caring type and therefore (for obvious reasons) not great choices for a long term relationship

Yeah but it has to be mutual

I figured you are not into "traditional family values" as you are in a defacto relationship. But I guess these days couples improvise and defacto allows a lot of flexibility.

The problem I have with women in this non-traditional mindset (and again don't take this personally) is that there isn't a need for loyalty or commitment on their side when you are first dating them. I remember hanging around with a group of single girls in my early 30s (part of a larger friendship group) and I was hoping that my friendship would make them want to date me but they were constantly dating other men. Freedom means choosing whom they wanted to have sexual relations with and whom they just wanted as friends. I was a friend zone guy despite being 100 times better option for long term relationship than the men they were sleeping with. Any wonder I started avoiding caucasian girls.

Sorry forgot one other factor I cam across (if it's helpful to those reading this thread for tips)

If a single girl has lots of friends then forget it! I have dated girls and found that I was taking second place to their girl-friends. If you think single girls are picky try getting past their f*****g friends. Talk about gate keepers. They will do anything to break up the relationship by feeding your date with lies about why they could do better.

Heck! I'm beginning to sound like Marknis