Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

The word "homely"

Page 4 of 4 [ 54 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4

Previous topic | Next topic

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

08 Mar 2020, 4:36 pm

It’s just not a good adjective to use.

Semantics have a way of veering out of your control.

“Homely” has a rather negativity connotation for various reasons. Because of the historical progression of semantics.

“Gentle,” originally, meant “aristocratic, high class.” It did not acquire its present meaning for a while.



Luhluhluh
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Dec 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 755

08 Mar 2020, 5:27 pm

QFT wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
the male form of the word (directed at males) is "unconventionally attractive." but i concede that is meant as more of a euphemism for homely.


Actually, when I learned that "homely" is a bad word, I learned it in context of describing men. In particular, I was reading the following article https://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archi ... py/277256/ and I read the quotes

Quote:
More than eight years after it first aired, the YouTube video of the skit still gets cited in online discussions of sexual harassment as "evidence" that our culture is deeply hostile to socially awkward and homely men.


as well as

Quote:
Others argue that "creepiness" connotes something specific: male homeliness.


What especially shocked me is that -- since the word "homeliness" implies comfort -- how can it possibly be creepy when creepy is the opposite of comfort? So now I have three different questions:

1. Why is homeliness unattractive on the first place? I thought it should be attractive

2. Why is someone who is unattractive perceived is creepy? Why would bad appearance imply bad behavior?

3. How can "homely" be "creepy" anyway? Homely = "comfort", creepy = "lack of comfort".

But in any case, back to what you were saying, apparently "homely" is being used negatively in case of men too, not just women -- as evident by that article.


In the United States, the word "homely" means ugly.

It doesn't matter what it means in England or anywhere else for that matter. If you live in the US, homely means ugly.

It's not that unattractive guys are inherently creepy. What's creepy is that they miss (or ignore) the sometimes obvious social cues that the target of their affection is not interested in their advances.

And yes, guys who are better looking are going to have an advantage. Human beings who are attractive have an advantage. If you aren't attractive you have to make up for it in other ways. That's life for both men and women.


_________________
That which does not kill us makes us stranger.


auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,762
Location: the island of defective toy santas

08 Mar 2020, 11:38 pm

and for those of us who lack the genetic complement to "make up for it in other ways," we just have to accept that "holland" is our home this go-round, that we are being taught some kind of unavoidable lesson.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

09 Mar 2020, 5:18 am

Enough with the “genes” already!

We can transcend our “genes.”

And many people born with “good genes” screw it all up.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,762
Location: the island of defective toy santas

10 Mar 2020, 4:35 am

how?



that1weirdgrrrl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2017
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,090
Location: Between my dreams and your fantasies

11 Mar 2020, 10:44 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Enough with the “genes” already!

We can transcend our “genes.”

And many people born with “good genes” screw it all up.


That's the plot of Gattaca :lol:


_________________
...what do the public, the great unobservant public, who could hardly tell a weaver by his tooth or a compositor by his left thumb, care about the finer shades of analysis and deduction!