So my worst fear has come true
It’s doesn’t matter where you find yourself - the point is that your body language and physical presentation give off a friendly, positive, and inviting image. It’s not that you should start juggling lemons, it’s that you have been working on yourself; your dress, your conversational ability, your activities, your awareness of others,.. so that, when you stumble across a possibility, you are ready!!
Making yourself interesting means focusing not on being someone you’re not but realizing that doing what you enjoy is just as important as being an enjoyable person who takes an interest in and finds out what others enjoy in a relaxed and non invasive manner.
There are more (and perhaps better) places you can meet people online than just dating sites.
I've been virtually dating with Theamazinggeek for a few months now after meeting him here at the beginning of the year. Current events kinda put a damper on being able to meet in person for the time being, but it's nice having someone to go through lockdown together with, even if it's just remotely.
It wasn't exactly rocket science to start something up, but "interestingness" was a key component as we have mutually compatible eccentricities.
After many years of heartbreak and misery, I have one overarching piece of advice: put yourself in places (physical and online) where you can meet people who share your interests and obsessions. Getting into random relationships with people with whom you have nothing in common is going to fail 90% of the time for NT people, and 99% of the time for us. That eliminates the supermarket.
Into films and film making? Go to film festivals and join online film groups. Obsessed with history? Go to historical museums and join online groups about the subject. Japanophile? Take courses in the language and try to get a job there. Love cooking? Again, take courses, join online groups, start your own blog.
Do these things not just to find a partner but because you love the subject. But any relationship that does happen to come out of it will have a much stronger foundation than simple loneliness, horniness and desperation.
_________________
"Donkeys live a long time. None of you has ever seen a dead donkey."
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,678
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Into films and film making? Go to film festivals and join online film groups. Obsessed with history? Go to historical museums and join online groups about the subject. Japanophile? Take courses in the language and try to get a job there. Love cooking? Again, take courses, join online groups, start your own blog.
Do these things not just to find a partner but because you love the subject. But any relationship that does happen to come out of it will have a much stronger foundation than simple loneliness, horniness and desperation.
But nooo...
You must be interesting in the supermarket.
Guys must juggle potatoes to woo the passing ladies.
you've been getting alot of good advice. and as I write this reply I may reiderate what others are saying.
What your still going thru is the breakup grief. Depending on how long the relationship was it could take
time. From your replys and your original post Id say your very bitter toward her. Im by no Far an expert Ill
do my best here.
The frist stage getting over someone is called acceptance. Accepting that it happened, accepting that your
single again, and not blaming outside forces. 2ndly in this stage not over analyzing the situation (hard thing
I know.) What you don't want to do is look at this one past mistake and thinking its gonna repeat it self over
and and over and over.
Then theres the Forgiveness stage. YOu forgive her for breaking her up. (no not as in Forgive so you make it ok to get
back together with her.) forgive her for being the person who broke up with you. You post seem to be showing bitterness
toward her. much bitterness toward the world. anger with the world .
then its Retreat and Rebuild. This stage is Where your ready to rebuild your confidence. right now you have the perfect
oppurtunity to rebuild and reinvent your life. (now Im not sure if your working, you might be working or you might be
sitting on your but with your unemployment benifits.) Isolation is the perfect time to restart anew. if you meant always to diet and loose any weight nows is good time, if you planned to work out now you can (youtube has millions of these things and theres tutoritals every where. lockdown workouts depending on how you search). you can spend some time getting to know this years spring and summer fashion styles or market you own. (yes being trendy helps). Skim Magazines and find that one hairstyle that your gonna want done as soon as the lockdown is overwith. pick up a few dating books (Read the Dating and flirting advice section of wrong planet), yes there are For dummie books on dating and flirting. and books specificly aimed at Neurodiverse people. I own several. Bulk up and research till you know it clean. and mostly take there advice. Now is a good time to rebuid and then unviel the new you. Mostly Im trying to get you to
rebuild your confidence. thats your most wrecked thing right this second. Why confidence? women of any type. whether they are neurotypical or neurodiverse, people are atrracted to people who are Genuine and have some form of confidence (in themselves) and who they are. if your proud of your personality, your sense of style (new or old), your ablilities, your skills, your interests, etc, Proud of who you are, it will show and shine thru. it'll make people want to be around you. Mister Pesamistic and bitter will drive those away. (social distancing or not)
Then last open up to oppurtunity. First off don't go looking for love, itll find you. the best relationships by Far the ones that count and last longest are those based on mutualness. Mutual Trust, mutual respect and mutual friendship. So Go to a hobby group, interest focused group, go to a something that theraputic and works with your goals, interest, skills, or specific strengths. find a community that resonates with you. even if its here that works. but don't be lazy about it. find place that uplifts you. don't hang around people who will bring you down or are in such a way they add to your pity party. Ive been there and hung in a singles chat only to be killed by sad story after sad story. Find a project that will help benifit you. it takes time to find this one step and making it happen.
and then you need to be open. open to possibilities. Most people have this perfect person in there brain whom they want to date. that image in your mind is bull. if you dont let go of that you'll never be open to the possiblites someone older, someone younger, Someone who dresses a certain way, or acts a certain way. What Im trying to say is be open to gal whom may cross your path. Online or offline.
You need a mind set that it can happen anywhere. yes there are a bunch evil doers who scam people out of money every day. its an everyday occurance. but that doesn't mean you don't have to fear and write off online dating. Theres a set of rules i and many have learned in delaing with it. (contact me in a PM if your earnest and interested. ive got other advice I can throw your way) Ivve had my boughts with dating, crash and burns.
On a funny note, yes love can happen (A) when you least expect it. (B) and when your not looking for it.
Ive got a pair of short stories to think on, one funny, one not so funny.
the not so funny: Ive got a friend whom is right now living with Someone whom is someone whom he thought he could spend
life with. someone whom couch surf right into his home. Covid hit, He found out that they're not compatible the hard way. shes his
worst nightmare of a Girl and so hes in a sense stuck with her for the duration of covid with her.
in a funny story a friend of mine met his Wife is a funny way. She Tboned (or was it smash into the back of his car) and smashed her car in to his camaro. after exchanging info, repeated calls due to insurance, they end up hitting it off so well they ended up dating. dating led to engagement, and then marraige.
cheers
_________________
*Pour a martinelli apple cider bottle into a wine glass. Puts down momentaryly poetry book next to philosophy book.
"Im search of answers, new marvels, and new questions to ask."
It wasn't exactly rocket science to start something up, but "interestingness" was a key component as we have mutually compatible eccentricities.
**shy twiddles fingers***
Goes to show you opportunity can even happen here. ( i noticed theres a lot of wrongplanet and Twitter users from london. Hint hint). I left an adver 5 years ago on wrongplanet (here)(which i gave up on) and well .. a relationship a loving relationship developed unexpectedly. Lol
_________________
*Pour a martinelli apple cider bottle into a wine glass. Puts down momentaryly poetry book next to philosophy book.
"Im search of answers, new marvels, and new questions to ask."
At the risk of being cliche' :
Dont focus on what you cant do
Dont focus on why you cant
Dont focus on why you shouldn't
Focus on what you can do
Focus on why you should
Focus on why you can
Life like science is trial and error. Dispite how others mock and laugh at you. In the end the journey and discovery is all the worth it.
_________________
*Pour a martinelli apple cider bottle into a wine glass. Puts down momentaryly poetry book next to philosophy book.
"Im search of answers, new marvels, and new questions to ask."
Teach51
Veteran
Joined: 28 Jan 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,808
Location: Where angels do not fear to tread.
Teach51
Veteran
Joined: 28 Jan 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,808
Location: Where angels do not fear to tread.
Into films and film making? Go to film festivals and join online film groups. Obsessed with history? Go to historical museums and join online groups about the subject. Japanophile? Take courses in the language and try to get a job there. Love cooking? Again, take courses, join online groups, start your own blog.
Do these things not just to find a partner but because you love the subject. But any relationship that does happen to come out of it will have a much stronger foundation than simple loneliness, horniness and desperation.
But nooo...
You must be interesting in the supermarket.
Guys must juggle potatoes to woo the passing ladies.
That would certainly impress me, juggling eggs even more
_________________
My best will just have to be good enough.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,678
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Into films and film making? Go to film festivals and join online film groups. Obsessed with history? Go to historical museums and join online groups about the subject. Japanophile? Take courses in the language and try to get a job there. Love cooking? Again, take courses, join online groups, start your own blog.
Do these things not just to find a partner but because you love the subject. But any relationship that does happen to come out of it will have a much stronger foundation than simple loneliness, horniness and desperation.
But nooo...
You must be interesting in the supermarket.
Guys must juggle potatoes to woo the passing ladies.
That would certainly impress me, juggling eggs even more
Teach in the supermarket: Juggle eggs to impress me Boo!
Boo: Oh sure.
*** all eggs ended up on Teach’s hair**
Teach: Wtf is that Boo???? You call this juggling?? Fck you!
Boo: It’s not the Moscow circus here, what did you expect.
I don't think I am bitter, because everything I said is a factual acount of the truth, and if your wonderful relationship had turned out to be a scam like mine was, you would be on here using the same words to describe it as I did, because that's how the English language works. I would say its great being abused, but I'm not full of s**t. so actually no i wont say that.
And I will set a reminder in my calendar to call you bitter when you break up, so dont even try me like that. Like its clearly not helpful. Just one of those words you use to waltz in here showing off how much better u are. maybe i wont take your advice. I dont wanna be like u. insensitive as a plank of wood.
youve all just assumed that i am a liar
that my ex is not a narc
that i am just a loser with no job who doesnt wash AND THAT must really be why she dumped me.
my ex was a narc with no job and poor hygeine and i am a f*****g baller. i make the big bills and have the high level interests to the point where i basically predict world affairs now. I wash more than you, using expensive product.
that my ex is not a narc
that i am just a loser with no job who doesnt wash AND THAT must really be why she dumped me.
my ex was a narc with no job and poor hygeine and i am a f*****g baller. i make the big bills and have the high level interests to the point where i basically predict world affairs now. I wash more than you, using expensive product.
_________________
The mere fact that science may not yet adequately explain an object, event, or experience does not mean the immediate explanation should automatically default to a conspiratorial, extraterrestrial, paranormal, or supernatural cause.
Teach51
Veteran
Joined: 28 Jan 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,808
Location: Where angels do not fear to tread.
Into films and film making? Go to film festivals and join online film groups. Obsessed with history? Go to historical museums and join online groups about the subject. Japanophile? Take courses in the language and try to get a job there. Love cooking? Again, take courses, join online groups, start your own blog.
Do these things not just to find a partner but because you love the subject. But any relationship that does happen to come out of it will have a much stronger foundation than simple loneliness, horniness and desperation.
But nooo...
You must be interesting in the supermarket.
Guys must juggle potatoes to woo the passing ladies.
That would certainly impress me, juggling eggs even more
Teach in the supermarket: Juggle eggs to impress me Boo!
Boo: Oh sure.
*** all eggs ended up on Teach’s hair**
Teach: Wtf is that Boo???? You call this juggling?? Fck you!
Boo: It’s not the Moscow circus here, what did you expect.
The Moscow Circus is awesome lol.
I can juggle.
Alternative scenario:
Teach: "Oops Boo you are smashing all the eggs on my amazing red hair, wtf?"
Boo: "It was your idea, stop complaining."
Teach: :Well bring a frying pan and some flour at least and we'll make some pancakes! OOOH run like hell Boo here comes the owner!"
Boo grabs the rather ancient Teachs' hand and assists her in fleeing from the irate grocer, who is shaking his fist at them angrily. What fun!! !
_________________
My best will just have to be good enough.
