Asking out a Co-Worker

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For the past couple of weeks, I've hit it of quite well with a female co-worker. We have known each other for almost a year, but only recently started talking much to each other.

We hit it of quite well a while ago at a party at a mutual friend's place, and we've been talking a lot on Snapchat and at Slack (we use that at work). The question is therefore: How do I ask her out without seeming like a creep? I think she knows that I like her, and it hasn't put her of or repulsed her in any way. Plenty of people at work hit on her (she's attractive, kind, and intelligent), and she appears more interested in me than any of them.

I've noticed that she often looks my direction in for example the cafeteria. Although she's shy, she's quite open around me. Although I often make a good impression initially on women, they usually lose interest after around two weeks when my Asperger's becomes more and more obvious.

The only caveat seems to be that she's 8 years younger than me, but I'm also quite young for my age. Our mutual friends are all younger than me, and people are surprised when they learn that I'm 32 years old. Close friends are aware of my Asperger's syndrome, but it's never been a big deal to anyone.

I know that dating a co-worker is (to put it mildly) risky, but I'm a full-stack developer with a very prestiguous education -- and can easily find a job somewhere else should things take a nasty turn. Furthermore, I work in a different project than she does, in a completely different building. It has reached the point where I can't connect with anyone else I've tried to date because I often think of her.

Ask her out to do something, just the two of you. She might know what you mean from just doing that.

That's what I initially planned, and what I'll probably do. Although that would also make it obvious beyond any doubt. I'm not really scared of rejection, but I'm scared that things will be awkward afterwards between us.

Last edited by Kurgan on 22 Nov 2020, 1:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah, there is always that fear of rejection. If you don't cross the line you might just end up getting friend zoned or something.

I don't really believe in the friendzone. Many have gone from friends to relationships; it's not at all uncommon.

Have a second date planned as well. Ask her when you are with her.

Why not ask her out but remember you two both work there. If it doesn't go well, it might be a good idea to just remain friends for the sake of working at the same place.

We live in strange times when simply asking a woman out is seen as creepy.



Her not being repulsed by you is a good start.




I'd suggest you give her a double-barrelled option:
Ask her: Would you like to go out on a date, or go out just as friends?




8 years is nothing.
It is silly to even think about it.



Dating a Cow-Orker is even more dangerous.



Ask her if she would like to go out on a date, or just as a friend, as I said, assuming you are comfortable with possible rejection.
If she isn't into you in that way, why not still be friends?
She might have a girlfriend that may be a better match.

Tried to find a way to ask her out today, but chickened out at last minute. I asked her what she was doing this weekend. She told me what she was doing, but I didn't escalate after this. Then suddenly became very chatty, but didn't really know what to make of it. A sh!tty thing about AS is overthinking. Anyone know what to make of it?

She became chatty? I'd interpret that as interest.