DataSage’s Alpha Male Guide to Meeting Women (JULY UPDATE!!)

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This isn't, and never was titled, "DataSage's Guide to getting laid."

As for why this method has yet to work for me... Some reasons are clearly outlined in my other posts to this thread. The rest is between me and the women I have talked to/interacted with.

Looks like it should be though.

Yeah maybe, but I also get the impression that the kind of girls that your approach is targeted at are not Aspie. Does that mean we are not good enough for aspie guys to go out with?

you've already asked that question pandora... AS women are a statistical minority.

But probably a majority, in terms
of what this poor fool might love.

I have been thinking about an idea related to this Alpha Male stuff... so I guess by definition there can only be one Alpha Male... and obviously this one male can't be with all women.

I mean he does have female relatives right?

So what do all the other non-Alpha Males do? Aren't there enough women for nearly ever man to have one? Or is the pool of desireable women so small that the only chance of finding someone of quality is to be the Alpha male?

A related idea, assuming the alpha male is the one all women want... wouldn't it be harder to be the alpha male in a larger group of men. And conversely easier in a smaller groups?

Don't think in such a limiting fashion.

[NOTE: I haven't read all 15 pages of replies to this, so forgive me if this is redundant.]

I think there is a lot of value in what you have to say here, but I really dislike the "Cocky-Funny" paradigm of responses. You say that this is not about dishonesty, but C-F says something about the person using it on an emotional level. That's the "cocky" part of the equation -- and what it says is simply not accurate about me. I'm not THAT confident, and I don't WANT to be.

What's more, it's not the only workable approach. It may work the most often. (I'm not sure of that but let's assume so for the sake of discussion.) Also, I think that the point where you get into talking about C-F is the point where you make your most questionable statements about what "women like." The kind of partner I want to find is only going to tolerate a very small amount of C-F before getting fed up, because I'm looking for an extreme in assertiveness and independent-mindedness.

Granted, that might mean I don't come off as quite as interesting to the majority of females out there. But...that's just the thing. I'm not looking for the majority of the females out there. As such, my approach, my natural tendency when I'm relaxed and in a situation like that, is tailored to being more attractive to the (possibly small) subset of women who prefer the way I am to the kind of guy who'd give those kinds of C-F responses. What's more, I think that if I were to adopt C-F, successfully, I'd attract more female attention, but find myself less interested in most of it.

Now, maybe this is just me, but I think there are probably other aspie guys out there for whom this kind of situation is applicable. I think that portion of your guide is a disservice to them, because it leads them into communicating (non-verbally, but still) something that will come back to bite them in the end.

I wouldn't worry too much toranin, out of 15 pages yours is one of the better ones.

It is actually something with which I am struggling as well. The questions you raise are ones I am struggling with at the moment. I have asked DataSage to address a number of these already, which he has already done to some extnet just one or two pages previous in this very thread. Those that are new to your post, hopefully he notices and can get back on. Because right now the only thing I do know is that nothing I have yet tried had worked so... well... mostly anyhow...

THIS is exactly the point that I'm trying to
make. If you put up a false persona, you are
likely to become that person. At least, I've
found it to be the case. When I started acting
the macho ass, guess what - I became a macho
a**hole. Luckily, I was able to move away from that,
and find a nice false vanity, and foppishness, which
works for me.

But this is the whole problem. You have to find your
own route to confidence and happiness with what you
are. If you're like me, you have to fight constantly to
maintain that too. But, I don't want to give up the self-
reflective qualities which make me look down on myself,
either. They have values in other things.

DIAGNOSED aspie women maybe but more and more, it is becoming obvious that women are just as subject to having asperger's as men. They are just not getting diagnosed as much with Asperger's, that's all.

No s**t pandora... but think for just one freaking second... if aspergers features in only 1 in 165 people (it's most prevalent and sketchy estimate) then chances are you WON"T be talking to an AS woman when you meet a woman and try and strike up a conversation!

Statistics is NOT freaking rocketscience!

Actually, the 1 in 165 is an estimate that is rather on the low side. 1 in 10 with discernible aspie traits is more likely. If somebody tells me ONE more time that something isn't rocket science, I swear I will throw something at them! Cliche city.

This is all BS. Every word. There is no exact formula for attracting women.

Every woman, every person, should be treated as an individual.

It is patronising and erroneous to asume that there is one cure-all way of behaving that will have positive results.

And there is no such thing as an "NT woman". Neurotypicals are a myth. Everyone is different, everyone has their own neurological quirks and glitches.

When will you idiots realize that women just want to be treated like people, not strange little creatures that must be hunted and seduced?

And, besides; every man is different, too. These 'methods' of emotional manipulation may work for the author, but not for another man.

The way to form a relationship with anyone, male or female, is to approach them with no uterior motive. Respect that they are a person with their own wishes and agenda; an agenda which may not even feature you.

Focus on getting to know them, on building mutual trust and respect, before you so much as allow the idea of romance to enter your head.

Don't try to control their opinion or feelings for you.

Give them an opportunity to judge you for themselves.

Edit: removed "kick in the nuts" comment. I'm not actually that scary.

Last edited by Aridarr on 01 Sep 2007, 3:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

^ QFSMFTYCBI

I stopped reading here. Thanks for the input.