Do You Think Dating Would Be Easier If You Were Neurotypical

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It was damn hard for me!

Meeting NT girls was easy.....asking them for a date was like public speaking in the nude.

I have various mental & physical disabilities that limit me with various life stuff. It is very hard to have an idea as to what problems are directly due to my autism & what are not especially when you consider the Aspergers comorbids. Is my anxiety & OCD along with my dyslexia & ADD & other related learning problems part of my autism or are they completely separate? Things are so blurred & mixed together that I'm sure I will never know. That said I do think that if I did still have all those things as well as my physical disabilities but did not have autism, dating & romantic relationships would be easier for me. I also woulda had better luck with finding employment & being independent which woulda also helped my dating & relationship prospects. I would be more charismatic & make better impressions if I did not have autism.

Yeah, I remember 2 years ago, joining college clubs which related to my interests.

I play guitar and I was in a band with several girls in it. There were several girls who I had taken an interest in but none of them were receptive towards me. One girl in particular, I tried to reach out to her on social media after talking to her in person for a bit, but she ignored me, which was super depressing. The other girl was a little bit nicer but when I asked her out, she flat out admitted she was not interested in dating me.

Meanwhile, I met a girl in one of my classes and we had near identical interests. Same major, similar upbringing, played the same games growing up, and had the same hobbies. She wasn't interested in me either, in fact she made it pretty well known she wasn't into me, lol. She was very moody and high strung and didn't hesitate to state her annoyance with me trying to talk to her.


Another girl I made friends with rejected me too. This particular girl was in my film club. After she rejected me, she wound up dating some guy 3-4 months later. A 6 ft 2 white guy named "Mark". And yes, I saw it on Facebook, and was quite depressed for a bit. That's a big reason why I deleted Facebook in the first place because everyone is getting into relationships, something i'll likely never get to experience.

All of this happened around the same time and obviously, I was quite depressed about it. I joined ForeverAlone forums and read lots of MGTOW stuff on the internet because these are guys who understand what i'm going through. Other people my age have no difficulty finding a relationship; many of them are starting to get married and settle down, while I can't really relate to any of them. Meanwhile, I struggle to even find a woman interested in me, and I believe that I was trying just as hard as other people. And that's when it hit me, the reason why girls don't like me is because i'm a 5 ft 3 autistic male. That's the cold hard truth! If I were a 5 ft 10 neurotypical male, I woudn't have faced the discrimination in dating that I do now.


Obviously i'm still going to try but to be honest, i'm not sure if i'm ever going to get a girlfriend, let alone get married and have a family of my own. So i'm going to have to figure out how to have a meaningful life without involving a romantic partner because there is a very realistic possibility that i'm going to be single for most of my life. That's just the hand I was dealt in life.

I'm actually a 5ft10 NT male and I was exactly like you in my 20s. I has lots and lots and lots of NT female acquaintances, I was told how good looking I was, how intelligent I was, NT girls liked being my friend. But I had zero luck in the dating game. Honestly there's plenty of NT males who have similar tales of woe when it comes to females.

If you enjoy MGTOW crap, you will never succeed in finding love.

If being blunt is your main flaw to fix with dating, that's easy to fix. Just consider a cab driver or ex military. I have worked with a few ex military at a cab company. They are both extremely blunt and tolerate blunt well.

I voted no...

Idk maybe some things would be easier if I didn't have autism, but like I am autistic I cannot think of myself not having autism. I do kinda feel if the autism was suddnly removed I'd still basically be autistic because I'd still need to learn about social interaction to figure out how to do it like having the autism removed i do not think would just automatically make me get people I would still have jsut as much difficulty reading up and trying to get it right and I mean I figure I'd still have autism in a way because just not having autism would not change my patterns of behavior and how I am that I have developed from an early age with having autism.

Not even sure the autism can be removed if you're autistic.

Had to google that, but yeah that is some gross crap...I mean how many tactics are neo-nazis going to pull to recruit people before someone does something about it. Like hey Mr president I like some of what you have done but for f***s sake find a way to stop these goddamn nazis.

You can't stop the young man from finding solace in the MGTOW web communities if nobody is giving him a chance.

Very good points. I would very likely still have the same exact issues I had before with dating & relationships if my autism were to suddenly magically disappear & only my autism. However I interpreted the question as if I woulda been born NT instead of autistic.

I'm kinda surprised that most guys would have a problem with a woman being blunt when it comes to dating & relationships. Lots of NT guys complain about women playing mind games, women not saying what they really mean, & women playing that hard to get cr@p. Some people think of Aspergers as an extreme male brain. Some things I read on WP by Aspie women & NT guys say that some NT guys find the directness & straightforwardness of Aspie women refreshing because they don't have to try to read between the lines & then make a guess or assumption that is wrong & makes the woman upset with him. Some guys may be shocked or put off by it initially cuz they are used to women being indirect & are not expecting bluntness but if they knew the woman a little 1st or she explained that's just how she is in general, a bit of guys would not be put off by that. A higher percent of NT guys might would still have a problem with a woman being blunt than guys who don't but I would highly doubt that more than 75% or three 4ths of guys would have a problem with a woman being blunt if they knew that's just how she is.

That said they are plenty of exceptions & it is quite possible that being too blunt is a major problem for some women with getting dates & relationships with guys. For those women who do have that problem, I will suggest that they consider seeking guys on the spectrum. Aspie guys are well known for being blunt & there are plenty of Aspie guys who would be very willing to be with an Aspie women & there does seem to be more Aspie guys majorly struggling to get a relationship than Aspie women who do.

I voted yes because not being autistic would probably mean I'd have more chance of noticing when someone was interested in me and knowing what to do in response. Plus I'd also probably be better at making friends and therefore have more chance to meet people. Luckily I'm married now so hopefully it won't be something I need to worry about again.

Yeah but I have no comprehension of how it would be to be born without autism...I mean I suppose I have some perspective because I am the oldest of my siblings and none of them have autism but I still don't know how it is like for them not having autism because well I've never not had autism. Also though both my grandparents on my dads side are dead now....and I never even 'grieved' over it sure I was sad to hear of it but I was never close to either of them so like I mean to be completely honest like I don't care, their passing did not really effect me in any way. And well knowing my grandma on my moms side is a trumper now like now I don't even really care if she dies I don't even like her anymore she is just a racist toxic person who happened to shove my mom out her vagina. LIke why should that be special to me? But like am I a bad person if I don't care about my older family members dying...? When I heard my great grandma died...I felt it was kind of a relief...she was really unhappy in the nursing home and made it quite clear many times she'd rather just be dead so I figured dying was a relief for her and yeah that was about the extent of what I thought about it. LIke cannot remember if I actuaully went to the funeral but if we did I was like the worst kid to bring to a funeral. Like I'd be the weird kid munching on the funeral snacks and monologuing about facts i've heard that pertain to death without realizing that it is the the last thing people actually want at a funeral.

I don't go to funerals though, I lie and say my social anxiety would just make it too much, but really I am afraid of attending and people like noticing that I don't really care about it the way they do. I am sad about a great friend I had dying..but even so never was invited to that funeral but even if I had gone I would not have cried or had any real public reaction. I did for sure cry in private about it because I do miss that guy but yeah I would not have done any of that during the funeral cause the very last thing I would want at such a thing is to have some person try to comfort me about it

How can one find “solace” in the crap all those MGTOWs and PUAs spew?

Are you still in college? What is/was your major? If you've graduated, do you have a job? If so, what general kind of job?

What is your longterm career goal, if different from your current job if any?

Do you have any other interests/hobbies besides music?

It seems to me that music might still be a good potential avenue for meeting people (other than just fellow band members). It's probably not a good career choice, but what are your prospects for obtaining occasional music gigs, either as part of a band or as a solo performer?

The thing is though... I don't want to.

I don't see it as a flaw. I live in the UK. Rules around manners are archaic. I tend to get on better with people from other countries who have moved here because they have a more direct communication style.

I am polite in company, I don't think anyone would say I'm not. My Grandparents were very strict and drummed them in to me, but I need to be myself at home or with my best friends or partner.

It's like my male friend was trying to put up a curtain rail, but was using the wrong drill bit for the Rawl plug. I pointed this out. He looked at the drill, looked at me and said, "dammit Hurtloam, why do you always have to be right."

I'm a woman. I'm English. I'm not supposed to butt in like that. It's not socially acceptable and not ego building for potential suitors. A man wants to be the person who can do the bloke stuff.