A life lesson for the active guys here: never chase.

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quite an extreme
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25 Sep 2020, 6:25 am

Isn't it much nicer to cause the girls to crush on you at first sight then to chase them? :scratch:


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Clueless2017
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29 Dec 2020, 6:12 pm

Interesting thread...I tend to agree with the consensus here that when a lady is interested, she will show in subtle or not-so-subtle ways...The less conservative the lady, the more OBVIOUS she will be...NTs even use the word "aggressive" to described this last type...

Of course, there are always exceptions to the rules...And in this case, i am the exception; i much prefer to be chased than to chase...Boyfriend #1 chased me for 4 years...I felt deeply in love with him...Boyfriend #2 chased me for more or less the same amount...Boyfriend #3 chased me--long-distance--for appx 7 years...With boyfriend #4, i felt pressured to date him by our mutual friends, so he did not have to chase me...The draw-back of preferring to be chased than to chase is that I DID NOT CHOOSE THEM; THEY CHOSE ME...And so, all above attempts to LOVE failed grossly...

Looking back, i am glad that i learned my lesson...And by the time i was chased by he who became my beloved (Aspie) husband, i was mature enough to have a say on the future of our relationship...And i was able to help him per se...That is only after he convinced me...And he was very persuasive...And as i have stated here in WP before, i ended-up falling in love with his superior logical brain... :D :D :D



hurtloam
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03 Jun 2021, 2:26 am

Boo posted a link to this thread in another thread and I didn't want to go off topic there.

Is this not anecdotal evidence?

I know couples where the woman made the first move and where the man made the first move. It's not consistent.

I know more women than men who have been consistently rejected for making a move. Me being one of them. I've been gently made fun of by my friends for consistently trying.

It's laughable to me that there's people out there who think women have all the power in this. I am so powerless.



The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Jun 2021, 2:54 am

hurtloam wrote:
I know couples where the woman made the first move and where the man made the first move. It's not consistent.


Are you sure he really made the first move without her showing super strong signs of interest? people usually don't tell you the minor details.


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hurtloam
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03 Jun 2021, 3:01 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I know couples where the woman made the first move and where the man made the first move. It's not consistent.


Are you sure he really made the first move without her showing super strong signs of interest? people usually don't tell you the minor details.


Yes, it was the day after he met her. His friends all thought he was mad. He took her by surprise. He was just so smitten with her he felt he had to make a move or someone else would.

I see what you're saying about small signals. They had been on a group of friends on holiday and she had sat and talked to him happily. This wasn't a cold approach

Cold approach never, ever works.



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09 Jun 2021, 9:05 pm

I thought men were hard-wired to chase.



Last edited by magz on 10 Jun 2021, 2:10 am, edited 1 time in total.: inappropriate content removed

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10 Jun 2021, 2:11 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
I thought men were hard-wired to chase.
Turns out it wasn't hardwired, it was mainly cultural.


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13 Jun 2021, 6:54 pm

Fnord wrote:
Play it safe: "No" means "No".  "Maybe" means "No".  "Mm-hmm" means "No".  Silence means "No".

"Yes" means "Maybe".

Fnord is the best!