ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
I think a lot of men see their fellow man as falling into three groups: A really good looking minority, a really hideous/deformed minority, and the bulk as just average.
I don't blame women for having a different set of standards for attraction. My criticism is more toward men who fail to comprehend this distinction. I've always said it's a theory of mind problem. If you, as a man, take 100 headshots of "average" men and ask women to rate their attractiveness, you may be surprised how many of these "average" men fall below women's acceptable looks level cumulatively.
If a man falls below this level, I have empathy for him. I wish him well. I'd never be so curt and condescending to tell him it's his fault he's unsuccessful. You see, for every man saying, "But I see a lot of ugly guys with women," or "I think I'm a 7/10, but women don't seem interested in me," you have to realize that men do a piss-poor job at rating other men's appearance (as in, how attractive they are/aren't to women), as well as their own.
For this reason, the advice that worked for one guy, may not work for another if the second man isn't passably attractive in the eyes of women. It's not his fault for being ugly, or the woman's fault for not finding him attractive. It just is.
And I think about being an Aspie. How many times has an NT said, "Making friends is a piece of cake, just be more outgoing," or "You can't be Autistic, you look like a normal person to me?" or even, "Yeah, when I moved to a new school, I didn't have any friends either for a month, I know what it's like." They're assuming that their experience is universal and that the actions that worked for them will certainly work for an Aspie. As most of us know, it won't, but they can't see it. Also, how many of you have had co-workers tell you how great you are, but then make no effort to invite you out to lunch or to their personal get-togethers that they attend with other co-workers? You can't always go by what a person says, actions speak louder than words.
I see a lot of weird parallels in this thread, the way Aspies are attacking a disenfranchised group after being attacked and misunderstood themselves.
I haven't seen anyone really attacking a disenfranchised group, seems to be more criticism of incel ideology. And seems most people specifically mean like people who identify in that ideology when they say Incel, not all men who haven't had success with women and are sad about it.
Some people online might accuse men in that position of being Incels when that is not the case, in a mean spirited kind of way, but I have not seen that in this thread. That I find horrible, because if anything it could encourage someone towards going that direction and it's just mean, just as mean as a girl in my class telling me she was surprised I wasn't the shooter during a lockdown. It just isn't nice to accuse people of being potential psycho shooters. The problem though is there are people identifying as 'incels' and subscribing to toxic and violent incel ideology who are fine with the idea of revenge killings against all those who have committed the crime of having relationship success. and those people should be called out.
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We won't go back.
12 Sep 2021, 6:16 am
