Should autists get married through 'trickery'?

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The answers here are interesting. The consensus here seems to be that a marriage needs communication and consideration for the other person that comes naturally, and is thus not done through a fake effort. So if you can communicate and consider the other person's point of view - get married, but if you don't, then you shouldn't.

A lot of Satanists seem to be atheists who still feel the need to rebel against Christianity.

I hope I'm not offensive to anyone but that's the first explanation of satanism that makes sense to me.

I mean it is not wrong, plenty were negatively effected by it growing up so it only makes sense to continue the rebellion.

Especially here in the U.S.A. where Christian nationalists are an actual ongoing threat to everyone else's civil rights and religious freedom.

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 10 Jul 2021, 6:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If it truly has "no effect on their overall life," then they don't have ASD, although their personality might fit the "broader autism phenotype" (BAP). One of the diagnostic criteria for ASD is:

No dispute and Satan is a reasonable mascot, but sometimes it seems unproductive because of how anything connected to Satan triggers certain people who might otherwise be reasonable.

Well yeah for sure that can be a bit of an issue, and cannot speak for every satanist...but on the satanic temple subreddit I follow and post in like we try to be like nice people in public. Maybe your car battery dies, and a Satanist pulls over to give you a battery boost...like in public we try and be decent people that don't cause issue. But of course for more bigger protests or trying to make a point some more extreme imagery comes out. But at the same time a lot of the Christian art work is pretty brutal and shows some rather grotesque things, like depictions of Jesus being crucified, so in a way it is also kind of a response to that.

The1st marriage was really sucked in and manipulated a lot and when she was done moved on.The 2nd wife is really a great lady she puts up with me having autism +dd and never seems to complain.

There is an old saying (with some merit)...

"Men marry women while hoping they will never change, and they do.  Women marry men while hoping they will change, and they do not."

I think some of the "trickery" is self-induced.

Exactly. His kids will be prime candidates for atheism when they discover Adam and Eve isn't in science books.

I'd say prime candidates for militiant atheists - possibly self-identifying as satanists, as mentioned above - in contrast to agnostics full of respect for religion, just not believing themselves.

I disagree with this. No matter how I tried logically getting my being to listen, I just cant thrive healthily with partners who eentually become emotionally unavailable. I've had dozens of relationships with all sorts of people ranging from spectrum to NT and NPD and it's not workable for me. I'm very much better when I'm single. It's not that I entertain that mindset but I can't work through the mental drawbacks which are extreme for me, it caused a range of mental issues for me like for example psychoticism day to day, especially if there was absolutely no seeing my partners. One of the reasons why I seeked multiple partners as well as a lesser attachment factor that couldve affected me in a lesser way. Because why not set myself for success through structure. It aided but not enough and it's not sustainable long-term.

to answer to the thread op, I was tricked all my life, they could have sworn they were the more emotionally intense partner and yet. It never worked out. You've gotta be honest if you want a lasting marriage and to set yourself for a successful healthy and happy relationship. You've gotta be mature and realize there are just some times you won't be doing certain things for your partner whether the sky opens or the ground cracks and pulls you in. There are people out there who desire that kind of attribute and others who don't cope with it. Allow me the reverse question: which one would you rather be with? You can come together on ground minus, ground zero or ground plus. When you share matching needs and abilities for each other's needs, you've got it already halfway figured for you. Relationships should be easy, beautiful and be able to build people up instead of grinding on their negatives, getting back to point one and making life harder. They're supposed to boost the people in them. Maybe im thinking in fairytale terms but some relationships are more set for success than others even strictly because they don't have as many issues or opposites ingrained in them, to necessarily work on, to achieve somewhat balance. If something, even one mismatch can't be fixed it might as well break the bond. But if people can successfully find and go to what is good and productive for them I think they can be successful autistics in marriage.

Last edited by Rexi on 05 Oct 2021, 10:03 am, edited 2 times in total.

I think your whole approach to marriage is very flawed. First you need to understand that marriage isn't a dream land for you to obtain regardlessly with whom and when or if.

First of all you have to be ready and knowledgeable about marriage, maturity and tasks that need to be fulfilled in a household if living with a spouse. There are endless amounts of responsibilities and you arent allowed failure across many days and years. You can't just decide one day you need rest. It's like having a job except it's the whole day, not just what "fulltime" encompasses. Early morning waking, showers, sleeping together and the difficulties these entail. Sharing chores and responsibility as well as fulfilling each other's needs for partnership to keep a dynamic that is able to withold time.

Second, you will realize that genuine marriage doesn't take just wanting to be a married individual, it takes long term work and commitment through issues and hard times with a certain individual regardless of their mental conditions and the way the dynamic between you is, that comes with always policing your behaviour as well as tolerating theirs. Certain relationship and issue fixing skills are necessary for you to stay bonded and strong, forgiving and willful to continue.

Third, this kind of deep connection to a person you don't choose. You are ready only when you are, and with the person that has a chemistry and gives you enough reliability that you can tell that for a lifetime despite changes in the environment and both of you, you will be able to make a life together. And this takes time and it's way beyond technically thinking about things in hindsight, or theoretical. Real life is more different than you can ever plan for. Only when you experience it can you say, this is the right thing for me and my future and I can offer the same to this person who entrusts their life in my hands. It cannot work without consistent readiness, maturity and transparency.

If you break somebody's trust by being dishonest, not only you start from minus by not being actually a person who matches with them in lifestyle which can be a big issue to begin with, but you add trauma to it and only the best prepared couples in the world can deal with such a thing and be successful at fixing that trust issue and trauma that has been created. Not to mention the responsibility this person will take their trauma in their future relationships and you might set them up for failure if they're not the right one for you and your relationship ends.

When you understand the ramifications of your actions and behavior towards this person who entrusts themselves to you, can you truly say it was the right thing to do because you couldn't believe there is success out there for you?

Last edited by Rexi on 05 Oct 2021, 9:50 am, edited 7 times in total.

I agree.

With what?