Dating Someone YouDont Like Just For Relationship Experience

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What Would You Do? (Read Post Before Voting)
Date her. At least you get romantic and sexual experience which could be beneficial later and you can always end the relationship if you dont like it. 31%  31%  [ 12 ]
Don't date her. It's not worth it to date someone you don't like if you're not attracted to them. Hold out for someone who you are attracted to. 69%  69%  [ 27 ]
Total votes : 39

Rexi
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04 Dec 2021, 2:58 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Aspie1 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
She sounds a little distant.
I did a little bit of thinking over the day or two, and I realized why she was distant: I was acting super-desperate! And there's nothing women hate more than desperation.


Yes this is true, Women like quiet confidence which is an indicator that you are self-assured and in control. They want a man who is in control.

If you show signs of desperation then the best you can hope for is friend-zone.

It doesn't matter to me they are desperate. I just want to help and be by their side and I'm glad it's not me who's getting through it maybe because I trust myself more with being strong through it.


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cyberdad
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04 Dec 2021, 6:20 pm

Rexi wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Aspie1 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
She sounds a little distant.
I did a little bit of thinking over the day or two, and I realized why she was distant: I was acting super-desperate! And there's nothing women hate more than desperation.


Yes this is true, Women like quiet confidence which is an indicator that you are self-assured and in control. They want a man who is in control.

If you show signs of desperation then the best you can hope for is friend-zone.

It doesn't matter to me they are desperate. I just want to help and be by their side and I'm glad it's not me who's getting through it maybe because I trust myself more with being strong through it.


Every guy?



kraftiekortie
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04 Dec 2021, 6:47 pm

It’s true that many women have a nurturing instinct.



cyberdad
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04 Dec 2021, 7:02 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
It’s true that many women have a nurturing instinct.


In my experience its activated when there is some vested interest in the man, not out of some altruistic need to play "Florence Nightingale"



kraftiekortie
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05 Dec 2021, 8:51 am

I’ve seen the Florence Nightingale phenomenon….sometimes for altruistic reasons, sometimes not.



hurtloam
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05 Dec 2021, 9:11 am

cyberdad wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
It’s true that many women have a nurturing instinct.


In my experience its activated when there is some vested interest in the man, not out of some altruistic need to play "Florence Nightingale"


They're mugs who get used. They'll end up sorting everything out for this idiot man who is either too lazy or too incompetent to do things himself and end up burning themselves out because no one does anything for them.



Aspie1
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05 Dec 2021, 9:51 am

hurtloam wrote:
They're mugs who get used. They'll end up sorting everything out for this idiot man who is either too lazy or too incompetent to do things himself and end up burning themselves out because no one does anything for them.
Getting used always take two: one to do it, and one to allow it.

90% of of the time, the person doing it is to blame. But occasionally, the signs are so blatant, the person allowing it should have seen it from the get-go. Now, it's not always their fault; anyone can let their guard down and fall into the user's trap. Heck, even family therapists, who carry a Master's degree in psychology, are very naive about things like emotional abuse by parents and kids being cruel to each other. (Although it's not impossible that they pretend to be naive, in order to gaslight a juvenile patient into thinking the abuse is normal, since the therapist works for the parents and not the patient). Either way, the important thing is to leave the moment you notice being used.

Also, think about which men do most of the using, at least intentionally: it's certainly not your garden-variety Billy the Beta; it's the kind of men women desire and lust after. So when women get used, it's their lustful attraction to the men that allows the parasitic behavior to slip past their emotional guard. Not that women are to blame---far from it---but it provides a plausible explanation for all that.



cyberdad
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05 Dec 2021, 4:17 pm

hurtloam wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
It’s true that many women have a nurturing instinct.


In my experience its activated when there is some vested interest in the man, not out of some altruistic need to play "Florence Nightingale"


They're mugs who get used. They'll end up sorting everything out for this idiot man who is either too lazy or too incompetent to do things himself and end up burning themselves out because no one does anything for them.


:lol: yes that is also risk for women.

Everything in life is a balance between two extremes.



cyberdad
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05 Dec 2021, 4:21 pm

Aspie1 wrote:

Also, think about which men do most of the using, at least intentionally: it's certainly not your garden-variety Billy the Beta; it's the kind of men women desire and lust after. So when women get used, it's their lustful attraction to the men that allows the parasitic behavior to slip past their emotional guard. Not that women are to blame---far from it---but it provides a plausible explanation for all that.


That was my point too. Women rarely play nurse maid to Billy Beta :lol:

Imagine some high powered executive hot chick walking through New York looking for a homeless man to cherish. It doesn't even happen in Hollywood.



kraftiekortie
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05 Dec 2021, 6:32 pm

You’re talking extreme examples.

I’ve seen some pretty attractive women being a nurse to some not-so-good looking men.

It’s not all cut and dry.

I’m a beta man who hasn’t been treated like a beta man.



IsabellaLinton
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05 Dec 2021, 6:36 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Aspie1 wrote:

Also, think about which men do most of the using, at least intentionally: it's certainly not your garden-variety Billy the Beta; it's the kind of men women desire and lust after. So when women get used, it's their lustful attraction to the men that allows the parasitic behavior to slip past their emotional guard. Not that women are to blame---far from it---but it provides a plausible explanation for all that.


That was my point too. Women rarely play nurse maid to Billy Beta :lol:

Imagine some high powered executive hot chick walking through New York looking for a homeless man to cherish. It doesn't even happen in Hollywood.


I dated a man who was unemployed and lived with his mother. After she died, he was homeless. I'm pretty hot and I have money lol, so yeah ... it does happen. It wasn't a great relationship but money wasn't the problem.

We were together for a few years on and off.



cyberdad
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05 Dec 2021, 8:29 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
You’re talking extreme examples.

I’ve seen some pretty attractive women being a nurse to some not-so-good looking men.

It’s not all cut and dry.

I’m a beta man who hasn’t been treated like a beta man.


There are always exceptions to the odds Kraftie. But time and again I've seen young men on this forum recount their experiences approaching women (having high expectations) and expressing their frustration when the women don't reciprocate.



kraftiekortie
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05 Dec 2021, 9:19 pm

“Alpha” men get rejected, too.

It’s not easy out there for anyone.



IsabellaLinton
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05 Dec 2021, 9:40 pm

cyberdad wrote:

There are always exceptions to the odds Kraftie. But time and again I've seen young men on this forum recount their experiences approaching women (having high expectations) and expressing their frustration when the women don't reciprocate.


I agree, cyber. There are a lot of lonely men (and women) on the spectrum. I wish I knew how to help or what to suggest. It's really hard meeting people especially in this generation, and even harder with the onset of internet dating. Men can't exactly hit on women or express interest in every potential partner they fancy.



cyberdad
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05 Dec 2021, 9:46 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I’ve seen some pretty attractive women being a nurse to some not-so-good looking men.

It’s not all cut and dry.

I’m a beta man who hasn’t been treated like a beta man.


IsabellaLinton wrote:
I dated a man who was unemployed and lived with his mother. After she died, he was homeless. I'm pretty hot and I have money lol, so yeah ... it does happen. It wasn't a great relationship but money wasn't the problem.

We were together for a few years on and off.


C'mon guys. Billy beta is going to read your posts and think "oh wow! there's girls out there who will like me for who I am". Then he goes on a dating app and get's zero swipes and thinks "What's wrong with me"

I think it's better to understand the odds. That way the young man doesn't have high expectations when he fails. In my view its easier to develop resilience to failure when you uderstand why rather than carry a "pollyana" view of the world that there are sumpermodels out there waiting for Billy.

Being able to get up after getting knocked back to try again is how you beat the odds.



cyberdad
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05 Dec 2021, 9:49 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I'm pretty hot and I have money lol, so yeah ... it does happen. I.


I never had any doubt you weren't Isabella :wink:

I must say reading your posts over the years you have certainly been through the wars but always manage to have a positive disposition.