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airbikecop
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15 Sep 2005, 7:15 pm

I'll flat-out admit it: I'm atheist. I'm happy, but....

...There's a girl I like, but she's really religous, in fact she only wears long dresses to college. Religious thing? Although I swore I once saw her wearing shorts. I think she's single, I'm 99% positive.

So how can a religous person and an atheist get along? I have no problem with people beleiveing in god -- I'm very liberal, so I don't care just as long as you don't crash planes in to buildings or force your beliefs on me. Any advice would be great!



mikibacsi1124
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15 Sep 2005, 7:32 pm

I would say it varies depending on the personalities of both parties. Me, I'm agnostic, and while I'd be open to dating women who affiliate themselves with religions, I'm not sure if I could take someone who let it take over their life and went to ridiculous extents to follow all of their religion's morals. Open-mindedness about other people's religions or lack thereof is a must too.



julieme
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16 Sep 2005, 8:05 am

I'm a lutheran (very active in my church - currently serving elder for social justice and care of the earth) - at one point I even considered becomming a minister. My husband of 25 years is an atheist.

Since my beliefs center on a relationship with God and how to live a life of love and caring that I am called to- not my partner's belief's - we very rarely have a conflict. In fact we are on the same side of most social issues and he is a good sounding block when I wonder what the right thing to do is.

The key points that make this possible are:

I realize that I am not GOD - don't get to judge or control anyone other than myself.

I most certainly am not responsible for any one else's relationship with God.

Tom also accepts these points

Good luck --- by the way:

it may make a difference what religion she is

or maybe once you get to know here there is a reason she wears long dresses like a big ugly scar on a leg, etc.



Serissa
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16 Sep 2005, 5:22 pm

airbikecop wrote:
I'll flat-out admit it: I'm atheist. I'm happy, but....

...There's a girl I like, but she's really religous, in fact she only wears long dresses to college. Religious thing? Although I swore I once saw her wearing shorts. I think she's single, I'm 99% positive.

So how can a religous person and an atheist get along? I have no problem with people beleiveing in god -- I'm very liberal, so I don't care just as long as you don't crash planes in to buildings or force your beliefs on me. Any advice would be great!


I don't know how old you are, bt am assuming since you're talking about college you're old enough for this to not be grossly inappropraite. But here's a big consideration, honestly:

If you do manage to get into a relationship with her, and she's religious, she may not be willing to have pre-marital sex.

I don't know how much of a consideration that is but it was the first thing that I thought of, reading this. Beyond that, just don't actually bring her into religious debates (or political ones, depending), and if you start to get in one, don't argue too much. Just agree to disagree. You will NOT be able to convert her, more likely than not. Also, be prepared for her to try to "save your soul" or otherwise try to be sure that, in her mind, you'll wind up in heaven. ((This is not guaranteed to happen, of course, but be prepared for it; that's the other biggie you'd have to put up with.))



airbikecop
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16 Sep 2005, 9:16 pm

I'm going to tell you something, I'm going to wait till I'm in a good relationship or be married before I have sex.

I work with some slu*ty women, and they have told me to wait. However, the people who aren't nearly as sexualy active told me to start having sex and not be picky about who I sleep with for the first time. It's funny, that one of the people who told me to be sexually active WAS picky about who he had sex with for the first time. Go figure. :roll:

That and some religous girl who (used to?!) lives down the street got knocked up, but then again she told her boyfriend not to wear a condom, and her boyfriend is NOT what she thinks he is. Yet another case of hook, line, and sinker. Not to mention, they both fell off the ugly tree. No sex before marriage, eh?

Oh yeah, I saw her wearing short shorts once, so I'm at a loss. A friend says she dresses profesional, but I kind of doubt that.



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17 Sep 2005, 6:00 am

There's nothing unusual about an atheist dating a religious person, it's how open minded they are to other religions that's the difference, and that can vary with anyone, regardless of religion (or lack of one). I'm an atheist, but I don't have any problem with other people's religions as long as they don't force their beliefs onto me.


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17 Sep 2005, 11:23 am

I've discovered over time that sharing beliefs with another person (be it friendship or romance) is far less important than that other's ability to understand you and respect your beliefs. If they can do that for me, they've won my trust. To be understood is to be loved.


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airbikecop
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19 Sep 2005, 9:39 pm

I got bad news.

She's moving in a short while, and it's a pretty intresting situtation. One of her sisters is buying a house somewhere up north and taking the whole family along, which is a pretty big one. Guess their parent's don't use birth control rather often, no?

It seems like they move from place to place rather often.

So this is one girl I'm intrested in eliminated... a shame really. I think it could have worked.



eamonn
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19 Sep 2005, 9:46 pm

airbikecop wrote:
Guess their parent's don't use birth control rather often, no?
So this is one girl I'm intrested in eliminated... a shame really. I think it could have worked.


Not if you're liable to hit out with comments like the one above. I have a big family, what is wrong with that?



Serissa
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20 Sep 2005, 7:20 am

eamonn wrote:
airbikecop wrote:
Guess their parent's don't use birth control rather often, no?
So this is one girl I'm intrested in eliminated... a shame really. I think it could have worked.


Not if you're liable to hit out with comments like the one above. I have a big family, what is wrong with that?


I think he meant the fact that she's moving/moves a lot?



airbikecop
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20 Sep 2005, 7:26 am

I don't know of one person who is very religous who uses birth control. Even the adamant religous girl down the street who at first didn't belive in sex before marriage became sexually active, and told her boyfriend not to use a condom. Another case of hook, line and sinker. Slightly back at the topic at hand...

Who would want to have that many kids and realize they have to move on a regular basis to support them?

I don't plan on having that many kids, nor do I plan on doing a lot of moving.



eamonn
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20 Sep 2005, 10:08 am

Maybe they just like moving around a lot as is their choice? I dont know about america but here it is cheaper to stay in the one place. Moving around a lot is expensive unless you are a "traveller" and live in a trailer or something.



airbikecop
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20 Sep 2005, 9:06 pm

They don't live in a trailer. It is cheaper in america, unless you can't find work, and they have good jobs. It's like they're under her sisters control.