Should I try on wedding dresses OR have sex first?

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Mikurotoro92
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21 Feb 2024, 8:31 pm

In order to get to my marriage goal I MUST start by making baby steps and accomplish smaller goals that could eventually get me to my big goal!

I was thinking I should start either by trying on wedding dresses or finally have sex

What do you guys think?


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TwilightPrincess
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21 Feb 2024, 8:37 pm

First you need to find a good man who you really like.

Most women wait until after they are engaged to try on wedding dresses unless they are doing it solely for fun.


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Mikurotoro92
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21 Feb 2024, 9:03 pm

It is solely for fun

That's the point


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CockneyRebel
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22 Feb 2024, 12:19 am

Wedding dresses.


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magz
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22 Feb 2024, 7:31 am

Trying on wedding dresses can certainly be fun but it is not even a baby step towards any functional marriage. It's just fun for fun.


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22 Feb 2024, 9:44 am

Does the dress fit? Are you happy with it? Sex would be difficult when wearing it and would be inappropiate in a wedding until after one has been married, but take the wedding dress off and find some more suitable things to wear if one is going to have sex.
I don't know much about these things as have yet to experisnce proper sex, so am guessing. But wedding dresses do look as if they would be in the way and isn't ones potential husband not supposed to see the dress or see you the night before the wedding?


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22 Feb 2024, 10:08 am

Sex. No question.


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ChicagoLiz
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22 Feb 2024, 6:36 pm

I would start by meeting people. Maybe join an activity group or go to game night at a bar. Ask people you know and trust if there's anyone they'd like to introduce you to. Try going on some dates. See what kind of person is a good vibe for you. Find someone like that, and get to know them better.

There's an expression: don't put the cart before the horse. It's a good one to keep in mind. When you find 'your person', you might agree that you don't want to have sex, or get married, or maybe you want both. The point is, both of those require someone else to be part of the event with you. You've got to find that other person before you can even think about having sex with them or getting married.


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funeralxempire
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22 Feb 2024, 6:46 pm

ChicagoLiz wrote:
There's an expression: don't put the cart before the horse. It's a good one to keep in mind. When you find 'your person', you might agree that you don't want to have sex, or get married, or maybe you want both. The point is, both of those require someone else to be part of the event with you. You've got to find that other person before you can even think about having sex with them or getting married.


In this case the cart and the tack are both being put before the horse, but that might not matter because it mostly seems to be larping for fun (for now).

Trying on dresses is quite low risk, unless you need to pay if you damage them. Then again, finding the perfect one only matters if it still fits and is still seen as perfect when one actually needs it.

Sex carries some inherent risks, but they can largely be managed. Then again, having sex with someone just to have the experience of having had sex doesn't get one closer to marriage either.

I feel like going on a date would actually satisfy more of OP's desires than trying on dresses or getting laid would.


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Mikurotoro92
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22 Feb 2024, 7:42 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
ChicagoLiz wrote:
There's an expression: don't put the cart before the horse. It's a good one to keep in mind. When you find 'your person', you might agree that you don't want to have sex, or get married, or maybe you want both. The point is, both of those require someone else to be part of the event with you. You've got to find that other person before you can even think about having sex with them or getting married.


In this case the cart and the tack are both being put before the horse, but that might not matter because it mostly seems to be larping for fun (for now).

Trying on dresses is quite low risk, unless you need to pay if you damage them. Then again, finding the perfect one only matters if it still fits and is still seen as perfect when one actually needs it.

Sex carries some inherent risks, but they can largely be managed. Then again, having sex with someone just to have the experience of having had sex doesn't get one closer to marriage either.

I feel like going on a date would actually satisfy more of OP's desires than trying on dresses or getting laid would.


The reason I feel that trying on wedding dresses could help me get to my goal is because doing so will send a message to the Universe that I am ready to get married!

I believe in the concept of Manifestation and the Law of Attraction

It is true that sex for fun isn't going to get me to my goal HOWEVER having sex with a man who turns out to be my future husband would be a different story

That is what I mean


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22 Feb 2024, 7:52 pm

You need to take your time and get to know someone first. It’s important to make sure he’s a good person. Sex is not enjoyable with just anyone. There are a lot of jerks out there.


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The Grand Inquisitor
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22 Feb 2024, 8:26 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
It is true that sex for fun isn't going to get me to my goal HOWEVER having sex with a man who turns out to be my future husband would be a different story

That is what I mean

Just be wary that there are a lot of men out there who are interested in having sex, but aren't looking for marriage or commitment. If that's what you want then cool, but if you're looking to have sex with your future husband, I'd echo FXE's advice of focusing on finding someone to date.

More likely than not, if you're having sex right off the bat, that's all they're after.



funeralxempire
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22 Feb 2024, 9:02 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
The reason I feel that trying on wedding dresses could help me get to my goal is because doing so will send a message to the Universe that I am ready to get married!

I believe in the concept of Manifestation and the Law of Attraction


Ah, I think that's what's called performative. That's what I meant when I described it as a larp. I don't really buy into those concepts, but I feel like it's off-topic to get into that debate.

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
It is true that sex for fun isn't going to get me to my goal HOWEVER having sex with a man who turns out to be my future husband would be a different story

That is what I mean


And sometimes that happens. One of my most serious relationships started as a hook-up at a con. There's also another angle, to play devil's advocate a bit: even if having sex with someone doesn't result in being closer to having a marriage, it does at least count as experience with sex, meaning the next time it might happen it's not something entirely new. If it happens but doesn't get you any closer to marriage, that doesn't make it a waste.

As long as it happens on terms you find agreeable, rather than merely tolerable (or worse) seems ideal.


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22 Feb 2024, 9:10 pm

Given the stats for autistic women, I think the OP needs to be really careful with the partners she chooses.


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DanielW
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22 Feb 2024, 9:15 pm

If this is a serious question you are asking, you are not ready to for either of them.



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22 Feb 2024, 9:20 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
ChicagoLiz wrote:
There's an expression: don't put the cart before the horse. It's a good one to keep in mind. When you find 'your person', you might agree that you don't want to have sex, or get married, or maybe you want both. The point is, both of those require someone else to be part of the event with you. You've got to find that other person before you can even think about having sex with them or getting married.


In this case the cart and the tack are both being put before the horse, but that might not matter because it mostly seems to be larping for fun (for now).

Trying on dresses is quite low risk, unless you need to pay if you damage them. Then again, finding the perfect one only matters if it still fits and is still seen as perfect when one actually needs it.

Sex carries some inherent risks, but they can largely be managed. Then again, having sex with someone just to have the experience of having had sex doesn't get one closer to marriage either.

I feel like going on a date would actually satisfy more of OP's desires than trying on dresses or getting laid would.


The reason I feel that trying on wedding dresses could help me get to my goal is because doing so will send a message to the Universe that I am ready to get married!

I believe in the concept of Manifestation and the Law of Attraction

It is true that sex for fun isn't going to get me to my goal HOWEVER having sex with a man who turns out to be my future husband would be a different story

That is what I mean


It is better to meet someone and date a bit to get to know them and if they'd be interested in being in a relationship before having sex if you're looking for a committed relationship. At least that's my opinion based on personal experience.


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