Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Reasons women do not date us!

Page 27 of 57 [ 901 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30 ... 57  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,147
Location: Near London United Kingdom

04 Apr 2024, 4:47 pm

DuckHairback wrote:
What do you get out of being at the pub?

It sounds like the people there don't like you.
You say you don't really drink much.
You've never had much luck meeting women there.
You seem to frequently end up in dodgy situations which cause you angst and confusion.

What exactly is the appeal?




Well I do drink a lot when I go out but not during the week


I don’t understand why it so hard to be liked in the pub scene? I am nothing but a happy drunk



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,300

04 Apr 2024, 5:28 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Over the years, there’s been a tendency to focus on physique and employment WAY too much in L&D. Sometimes those things should be pretty far down a person’s list of priorities. Sometimes they are so far down it’s absurd to even mention them. A lot of people here can’t work due to disabilities and being overweight/out-of-shape isn’t that unusual these days. It hasn’t stopped many from finding partners, including some on WP.


Ask yourself who this message is going to? Yes I acknowledge this is a vulnerable population but young autistic males (and females) want (aspire) for the same things as NTs. This includes aiming to have the best version of themselves + getting the best job.

Jamesy has siblings, he often compares himself to his brother and his friends who he describes as successful. These are his personal role models (not some idealistic "be yourself" personal version of himself). These are the people whom he sees every day and probably why he is drawn to the bar/pub culture (I noticed there's a few UK WP members who go to bars as well). I don't think hes going to stop his lifestyle even after 9 years of telling him on WP.

A lot of aspies meet their partners in their place of employment. Maybe if Jamesy develops his career he might find work in a new environment where he might meet his new female friend or partner. There are literally endless possibilities but simply casting normal needs/wants as absurd isn't (I don't believe) fair on folks like Jamesy. He just wants to be part of the crowd.



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,147
Location: Near London United Kingdom

04 Apr 2024, 5:30 pm

The some reason or another I am not liked in the pub scene :?



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 23,587
Location: Hell

04 Apr 2024, 5:31 pm

cyberdad wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
Over the years, there’s been a tendency to focus on physique and employment WAY too much in L&D. Sometimes those things should be pretty far down a person’s list of priorities. Sometimes they are so far down it’s absurd to even mention them. A lot of people here can’t work due to disabilities and being overweight/out-of-shape isn’t that unusual these days. It hasn’t stopped many from finding partners, including some on WP.


Ask yourself who this message is going to? Yes I acknowledge this is a vulnerable population but young autistic males (and females) want (aspire) for the same things as NTs. This includes aiming to have the best version of themselves + getting the best job.

Jamesy has siblings, he often compares himself to his brother and his friends who he describes as successful. These are his personal role models (not some idealistic "be yourself" personal version of himself). These are the people whom he sees every day and probably why he is drawn to the bar/pub culture (I noticed there's a few UK WP members who go to bars as well). I don't think hes going to stop his lifestyle even after 9 years of telling him on WP.

A lot of aspies meet their partners in their place of employment. Maybe if Jamesy develops his career he might find work in a new environment where he might meet his new female friend or partner. There are literally endless possibilities but simply casting normal needs/wants as absurd isn't (I don't believe) fair on folks like Jamesy. He just wants to be part of the crowd.
Instead of responding to a portion of my post out of context as you seem to do most of the time, I suggest that you read and consider the entire thing carefully.

Many members have disabilities. Careers are not within everyone’s reach. Many women do not care about that stuff. It’s not hopeless.


_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven — Satan and TwilightPrincess


Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 04 Apr 2024, 5:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,300

04 Apr 2024, 5:38 pm

Jamesy wrote:
I don’t understand why it so hard to be liked in the pub scene? I am nothing but a happy drunk


As somebody who lived in bars/clubs in my late 20s/early 30s it was a mix of my most memorable experiences and also my most miserable lonely. I guess it for me it was a "cool" phase, and perhaps one I had to experience in my personal growth.

I understand the pub culture in UK is different from Australia and the US. Local pubs are part of the culture of the area and its perfectly normal to spend your free time chatting to locals. I also get it, women who enjoy a drink are more open and friendly after a few drinks so are more amenable to chatting to social awkward folk. I really hope you get lucky Jamesy after all these years. BTW how goes your luck on dating apps? if you dont want sex you might attract an asexual woman who won't mind a male friend who just wants a hug/cuddles?



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,300

04 Apr 2024, 5:40 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
Over the years, there’s been a tendency to focus on physique and employment WAY too much in L&D. Sometimes those things should be pretty far down a person’s list of priorities. Sometimes they are so far down it’s absurd to even mention them. A lot of people here can’t work due to disabilities and being overweight/out-of-shape isn’t that unusual these days. It hasn’t stopped many from finding partners, including some on WP.


Ask yourself who this message is going to? Yes I acknowledge this is a vulnerable population but young autistic males (and females) want (aspire) for the same things as NTs. This includes aiming to have the best version of themselves + getting the best job.

Jamesy has siblings, he often compares himself to his brother and his friends who he describes as successful. These are his personal role models (not some idealistic "be yourself" personal version of himself). These are the people whom he sees every day and probably why he is drawn to the bar/pub culture (I noticed there's a few UK WP members who go to bars as well). I don't think hes going to stop his lifestyle even after 9 years of telling him on WP.

A lot of aspies meet their partners in their place of employment. Maybe if Jamesy develops his career he might find work in a new environment where he might meet his new female friend or partner. There are literally endless possibilities but simply casting normal needs/wants as absurd isn't (I don't believe) fair on folks like Jamesy. He just wants to be part of the crowd.
Instead of responding to a portion of my post out of context as you seem to do most of the time, I suggest that you read and consider the entire thing carefully.


I would but this is Jamesy's thread and I am responding to the "sliver" of information you have that might be relevant to him.



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,147
Location: Near London United Kingdom

04 Apr 2024, 5:43 pm

No ones likes a ‘weirdo’



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 23,587
Location: Hell

04 Apr 2024, 5:45 pm

cyberdad wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
Over the years, there’s been a tendency to focus on physique and employment WAY too much in L&D. Sometimes those things should be pretty far down a person’s list of priorities. Sometimes they are so far down it’s absurd to even mention them. A lot of people here can’t work due to disabilities and being overweight/out-of-shape isn’t that unusual these days. It hasn’t stopped many from finding partners, including some on WP.


Ask yourself who this message is going to? Yes I acknowledge this is a vulnerable population but young autistic males (and females) want (aspire) for the same things as NTs. This includes aiming to have the best version of themselves + getting the best job.

Jamesy has siblings, he often compares himself to his brother and his friends who he describes as successful. These are his personal role models (not some idealistic "be yourself" personal version of himself). These are the people whom he sees every day and probably why he is drawn to the bar/pub culture (I noticed there's a few UK WP members who go to bars as well). I don't think hes going to stop his lifestyle even after 9 years of telling him on WP.

A lot of aspies meet their partners in their place of employment. Maybe if Jamesy develops his career he might find work in a new environment where he might meet his new female friend or partner. There are literally endless possibilities but simply casting normal needs/wants as absurd isn't (I don't believe) fair on folks like Jamesy. He just wants to be part of the crowd.
Instead of responding to a portion of my post out of context as you seem to do most of the time, I suggest that you read and consider the entire thing carefully.


I would but this is Jamesy's thread and I am responding to the "sliver" of information you have that might be relevant to him.
Just because you don’t understand the relevancy doesn’t mean that it all wasn’t relevant.

Your understanding of this topic seems to be extremely limited. Once again, it appears that you are primarily basing stuff off of your own personal experience and don’t seem to appreciate the struggles that others might have or the diverse opinions and preferences of women.


_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven — Satan and TwilightPrincess


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,300

04 Apr 2024, 5:45 pm

Jamesy wrote:
No ones likes a ‘weirdo’


You arent weird Jamesy



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 23,587
Location: Hell

04 Apr 2024, 5:46 pm

Jamesy wrote:
No ones likes a ‘weirdo’

It depends on what you mean by “weirdo.” I prefer people who are weird in some way. “Normal” sounds boring.

People like different things.


_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven — Satan and TwilightPrincess


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,147
Location: Near London United Kingdom

04 Apr 2024, 5:47 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
No ones likes a ‘weirdo’

It depends on what you mean by “weirdo.” I prefer people who are weird in some way. “Normal” sounds boring.

People like different things.



Why do you think it’s not easy to be liked in the pub scene?



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 23,587
Location: Hell

04 Apr 2024, 5:50 pm

Jamesy wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
No ones likes a ‘weirdo’

It depends on what you mean by “weirdo.” I prefer people who are weird in some way. “Normal” sounds boring.

People like different things.



Why do you think it’s not easy to be liked in the pub scene?

Sometimes alcohol can make people behave in ways they shouldn’t and normally wouldn’t. Women might often feel like they need to be especially cautious there.

It’s also hard because everyone is SO different. In a book club or video game club, you’d already have things to talk about and to connect over.


_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven — Satan and TwilightPrincess


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,147
Location: Near London United Kingdom

04 Apr 2024, 5:51 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
No ones likes a ‘weirdo’

It depends on what you mean by “weirdo.” I prefer people who are weird in some way. “Normal” sounds boring.

People like different things.



Why do you think it’s not easy to be liked in the pub scene?

Sometimes alcohol can make people behave in ways they shouldn’t and normally wouldn’t. Women might often feel like they need to be especially cautious there.

It’s also hard because everyone is SO different. In a book club or video game club, you’d already have things to talk about and to connect over.




I am quite posh and the weatherspoons pub I go to is ‘working class’



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 23,587
Location: Hell

04 Apr 2024, 5:53 pm

Jamesy wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
No ones likes a ‘weirdo’

It depends on what you mean by “weirdo.” I prefer people who are weird in some way. “Normal” sounds boring.

People like different things.



Why do you think it’s not easy to be liked in the pub scene?

Sometimes alcohol can make people behave in ways they shouldn’t and normally wouldn’t. Women might often feel like they need to be especially cautious there.

It’s also hard because everyone is SO different. In a book club or video game club, you’d already have things to talk about and to connect over.




I am quite posh and the weatherspoons pub I go to is ‘working class’

You only go there one or two days a week, right? It must’ve been incredibly boring being there from 3 to 1 in the morning. Reducing the hours is a good idea.

What do you do the 5 or 6 days a week you don’t go to the pub?


_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven — Satan and TwilightPrincess


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,147
Location: Near London United Kingdom

04 Apr 2024, 5:57 pm

Volunteering at my local nature reserve during the week.

Also working out in my home gym and playing video games



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 23,587
Location: Hell

04 Apr 2024, 5:57 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Volunteering at my local nature reserve during the week.

Also working out in my home gym and playing video games

Volunteering sounds awesome! Have you made any friends or gotten to know anyone there?


_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven — Satan and TwilightPrincess