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Might autistic women not be the best match for autistic men?

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IsabellaLinton
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21 May 2024, 4:36 pm

At what point would you have that conversation? Would it be before you start being intimate, or after? How is the woman supposed to predict ahead of time if she's going to have a high sex drive with you, if she hasn't tested your mutual chemistry? Some women might have a really high libido and think they'll want it a lot, but then they might get with you and realize you don't turn them on. Similarly, they might bow out thinking they don't have a high sex drive or that you're being offensive, but in reality if you waited until the relationship was stronger she might love it and come out of her shell. What I'm saying is a person's sex drive isn't set in stone before they test it out with new people.

It's also possible you'll both have a high sex drive but like totally different things, and not connect for that reason.


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WantToHaveALife
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21 May 2024, 5:16 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
There’s nothing wrong with desiring certain things in a relationship or having a respectful conversation about what you both want, but seeming like you’d be pushy about sex would be a huge red flag to most women. The topic shouldn’t seem like an ultimatum.

well sex is a natural or normal part of a relationship, a relationship without sex just doesn't feel or seem like a true relationship to me, sounds more like a friendship to me.

I’m sure many people feel that way, but once again, if you seem like you’d be pushy about sex or if you issue ultimatums, it probably wouldn’t help you get what you want. Most women want relationships that include sex, but they also want to be treated with respect. If someone is demonstrating red flags, most would prefer to keep on looking than to settle for someone who seems like they might not treat them right.


i would imagine that is not unusual or not unheard of, as in, women will go on dates or have some type of relationship with a man, they will be okay with kissing and making out, cuddling, but withhold from sex for some reasons though, and that leads me to think that the guy, man, is doing something wrong that is causing the woman to not want to sleep with him yet.



Mikurotoro92
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21 May 2024, 5:31 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
There’s nothing wrong with desiring certain things in a relationship or having a respectful conversation about what you both want, but seeming like you’d be pushy about sex would be a huge red flag to most women. The topic shouldn’t seem like an ultimatum.

well sex is a natural or normal part of a relationship, a relationship without sex just doesn't feel or seem like a true relationship to me, sounds more like a friendship to me.

I’m sure many people feel that way, but once again, if you seem like you’d be pushy about sex or if you issue ultimatums, it probably wouldn’t help you get what you want. Most women want relationships that include sex, but they also want to be treated with respect. If someone is demonstrating red flags, most would prefer to keep on looking than to settle for someone who seems like they might not treat them right.


i would imagine that is not unusual or not unheard of, as in, women will go on dates or have some type of relationship with a man, they will be okay with kissing and making out, cuddling, but withhold from sex for some reasons though, and that leads me to think that the guy, man, is doing something wrong that is causing the woman to not want to sleep with him yet.


Kissing (making out) and cuddling is what leads to sex but that is what I want right now before the "main event"

David and I are going to get a little bit intimate this Sunday though but the reason I have been withholding sex is because of fear of pain from penetration and fear of pregnancy/childbirth (tokophobia)

If it wasn't for those 2 things I would have had sex and lost my virginity a LONG TIME AGO!! !


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IsabellaLinton
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21 May 2024, 5:43 pm

Kissing, making out, and cuddling don't always lead to sex.
They can happen without sex.
Likewise, sex can happen without any of them.


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Mikurotoro92
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21 May 2024, 5:59 pm

But until I can overcome these 2 things, passionate kissing and cuddling is as far as I am willing to go right now!


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IsabellaLinton
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21 May 2024, 6:55 pm

There's a lot of things to enjoy besides making out or penetration / pregnancy risk.
But of course don't do anything until you're ready, and have contraception just in case.


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21 May 2024, 8:51 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
There’s nothing wrong with desiring certain things in a relationship or having a respectful conversation about what you both want, but seeming like you’d be pushy about sex would be a huge red flag to most women. The topic shouldn’t seem like an ultimatum.

well sex is a natural or normal part of a relationship, a relationship without sex just doesn't feel or seem like a true relationship to me, sounds more like a friendship to me.

I’m sure many people feel that way, but once again, if you seem like you’d be pushy about sex or if you issue ultimatums, it probably wouldn’t help you get what you want. Most women want relationships that include sex, but they also want to be treated with respect. If someone is demonstrating red flags, most would prefer to keep on looking than to settle for someone who seems like they might not treat them right.


i would imagine that is not unusual or not unheard of, as in, women will go on dates or have some type of relationship with a man, they will be okay with kissing and making out, cuddling, but withhold from sex for some reasons though, and that leads me to think that the guy, man, is doing something wrong that is causing the woman to not want to sleep with him yet.


Kissing (making out) and cuddling is what leads to sex but that is what I want right now before the "main event"

David and I are going to get a little bit intimate this Sunday though but the reason I have been withholding sex is because of fear of pain from penetration and fear of pregnancy/childbirth (tokophobia)

If it wasn't for those 2 things I would have had sex and lost my virginity a LONG TIME AGO!! !


are you saying your still a virgin in the sense that you've never had intercourse before? are you comfortable with oral at least? i remember i told me ex partner that i was willing to get a vasectomy to save the relationship, but that wasn't enough, she would argue and say to me "you just want me for my body or as your plaything".



Mikurotoro92
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21 May 2024, 9:56 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
are you saying your still a virgin in the sense that you've never had intercourse before? are you comfortable with oral at least? i remember i told me ex partner that i was willing to get a vasectomy to save the relationship, but that wasn't enough, she would argue and say to me "you just want me for my body or as your plaything".


Yes

Because I am afraid of the pain from penetration

But I want to experience the pleasure of sex so I MUST find a way to overcome this somehow!! !


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IsabellaLinton
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21 May 2024, 10:08 pm

If you have Vaginismus your OBGYN will be able to suggest a treatment plan. ^

Masturbation would likely help too.


Back to the OP, you took the words right out of my mouth FXE.

Well put.


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21 May 2024, 10:10 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
are you saying your still a virgin in the sense that you've never had intercourse before? are you comfortable with oral at least? i remember i told me ex partner that i was willing to get a vasectomy to save the relationship, but that wasn't enough, she would argue and say to me "you just want me for my body or as your plaything".


Yes

Because I am afraid of the pain from penetration

But I want to experience the pleasure of sex so I MUST find a way to overcome this somehow!! !


how long have you been with your partner now? i'm sure you and him will eventually have sex, the closest thing i had to a sexual relationship with a woman was a situationship i had with someone for a few months when i was 29 back in 2017, she had a sexual side her, unlike the other woman i was with.



Mikurotoro92
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22 May 2024, 1:49 am

WantToHaveALife wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
are you saying your still a virgin in the sense that you've never had intercourse before? are you comfortable with oral at least? i remember i told me ex partner that i was willing to get a vasectomy to save the relationship, but that wasn't enough, she would argue and say to me "you just want me for my body or as your plaything".


Yes

Because I am afraid of the pain from penetration

But I want to experience the pleasure of sex so I MUST find a way to overcome this somehow!! !


how long have you been with your partner now? i'm sure you and him will eventually have sex, the closest thing i had to a sexual relationship with a woman was a situationship i had with someone for a few months when i was 29 back in 2017, she had a sexual side her, unlike the other woman i was with.


About 3 months

Sex will happen once he comes to my house although he mentioned something about having a little fun in his bathroom this Sunday... :heart: :heart: :heart:


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IsabellaLinton
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22 May 2024, 7:40 am

Wow. Time flies. I thought your first date was set for Easter weekend which was last month. ^

What kind of fun will he have in the bathroom? :lol: That sounds funny to me like toilet humour.

I hope your brother will be OK with him staying over.


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Mikurotoro92
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22 May 2024, 10:58 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Wow. Time flies. I thought your first date was set for Easter weekend which was last month. ^

What kind of fun will he have in the bathroom? :lol: That sounds funny to me like toilet humour.

I hope your brother will be OK with him staying over.


Yeah

We are going to get a little intimate in his bathroom

He is okay with David coming over


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WantToHaveALife
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22 May 2024, 8:10 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
are you saying your still a virgin in the sense that you've never had intercourse before? are you comfortable with oral at least? i remember i told me ex partner that i was willing to get a vasectomy to save the relationship, but that wasn't enough, she would argue and say to me "you just want me for my body or as your plaything".


Yes

Because I am afraid of the pain from penetration

But I want to experience the pleasure of sex so I MUST find a way to overcome this somehow!! !


how long have you been with your partner now? i'm sure you and him will eventually have sex, the closest thing i had to a sexual relationship with a woman was a situationship i had with someone for a few months when i was 29 back in 2017, she had a sexual side her, unlike the other woman i was with.


About 3 months

Sex will happen once he comes to my house although he mentioned something about having a little fun in his bathroom this Sunday... :heart: :heart: :heart:


at the moment it sounds like you are still uncomfortable with intercourse



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22 May 2024, 8:45 pm

I take it our new friend from Texas won't be contributing further to any discussions?


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22 May 2024, 9:00 pm

I bet that he’s currently posting on a site that’s more attuned to his specific interests and tastes… :lol:


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