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Women aren't attracted to autistic men

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blitzkrieg
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17 Apr 2025, 12:50 pm

Passive, meek men, sometimes who are autistic, often pay the highest price in the dating arena, especially with a societal impetus on men being those who court or 'chase' the women they are interested in. Without delving especially deeply into any gender divide, I think the above is pretty obvious to most people.



Nades
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17 Apr 2025, 1:00 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Nades wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
Pointing out problems with research, puts me under no obligation to cite any of my own. With that being said, I’ve cited data on the rates of sexual victimization before. I won’t do so here although I think they could be at least somewhat applicable. Some autistic women conceive children with their abusers.


You keep derailing the thread. You also need to separate the personal opinions of posters from the research they're paraphrasing. It honestly childish and happens constantly here. It's against the rules too once you've been told by the poster to stop making that insinuation.

I was responding to this statement.
Nades wrote:
Then provide your own sources and stop insinuating research is my personal opinion.

Aside from that, if you have concerns about my behavior, I suggest talking to a mod about it rather than approach personal attack territory. Thanks.


This again. Its gone from me providing a very short paraphrasing of a study to insinuations I have some bigoted agenda for simply linking it after I tokd you to separate the study from the views of the researchers to an SA interjection.

This is clearly a thread derailment and what appears to be a personal attack.

Debate the research, not me.



Nightwing82
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17 Apr 2025, 1:05 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
Passive, meek men, sometimes who are autistic, often pay the highest price in the dating arena, especially with a societal impetus on men being those who court or 'chase' the women they are interested in. Without delving especially deeply into any gender divide, I think the above is pretty obvious to most people.


Thank you. This is what I was trying, and failing to articulate.

To be clear, this is not a problem with women, but rather a problem with the social messaging directed at men and women. Passive men are made to believe we're losers and women are taught to desire socially aggressive men.



TwilightPrincess
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17 Apr 2025, 1:06 pm

^^ The SA was not a mere interjection but a relevant issue with the research you cited. Given the rates of SA and DV among autistic women which I’ve cited before, it’s impossible to know what percentage of their children were conceived consensually. Thus, it’s hard to say how more successful they truly are. It’s a much more complex topic than it seems.

I wasn’t derailing but engaging with posts, research, and now addressing false accusations.


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blitzkrieg
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17 Apr 2025, 1:22 pm

Nightwing82 wrote:
Thank you. This is what I was trying, and failing to articulate.


No worries. :wtg:



Nades
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17 Apr 2025, 1:26 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
^^ The SA was not a mere interjection but a relevant issue with the research you cited. Given the rates of SA and DV among autistic women which I’ve cited before, it’s impossible to know what percentage of their children were conceived consensually. Thus, it’s hard to say how more successful they truly are. It’s a much more complex topic than it seems.

I wasn’t derailing but engaging with posts, research, and now addressing false accusations.

You haven't cited it and it's off topic.

If you're gonna accuse members of bigotry just for citing tepid research, counter it with your own next time.



TwilightPrincess
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17 Apr 2025, 1:30 pm

I already explained to you why it’s not off-topic and why I mentioned it in relation to your own research. You can read back over my previous post if you like. If you’re interested, I could cite sources on this topic.

I’m not saying people are bigoted, but I do think various comments and the overall topic may not be appropriate for WP, but maybe Cornflake will disagree with me on that.


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Escape1894
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17 Apr 2025, 1:39 pm

You’re not wrong OP. I’ve also noticed that even autistic women would rather date a Nt man over an autistic one. Autistic men are at lowest of the totem pole when it comes to dating. Women can tell something is different about us but they aren’t sure exactly what it is. Because of this, the fear of unknown kicks in and they don’t even give us a chance to introduce ourselves. Many autistic men (including me) have live/lived their entire lives never experiencing dating, relationships, sex, etc and it wasn’t by choice.



The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Apr 2025, 1:53 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Actually in the link I posted they do provide a gender divide, those two are very telling:

31% of autistic adults without intellectual disabilities are married, compared to only 1% of those with intellectual disabilities.

Autistic women are more likely to marry than autistic men, with 16% of autistic women married compared to 11% of autistic men

So the first 5% mentioned earlier includes the autistics with intellectual disability - let’s admit it, there’s a world difference between mild autism and sever autism.

16% for women also is still much lower than general population; not much better really than men.



NOTE: NOT every marriage is a good marriage, studies can hardly discern that.



Participant626
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17 Apr 2025, 2:31 pm

Nightwing82 wrote:
I don't particularly care the latest trends. I prefer women who have some awkward quirks, as a find most "typical" people not as interesting.

Though something crossed my mind when I read your response: the women you're talking about might be the ones who are typically in social spaces where it's easier to meet people. Also, it's difficult for me to be the first to start up conversations with strangers. I think it's difficult for two introverts to meet without a third party to break the ice. I've found it easier to meet the kinds of women that interest me at work, though that carries it's own set of obstacles. Besides, it's seems everyone I meet there is already married.


Those are some good points! I also cannot go up to strangers and spark conversation, so it makes sense that two introverts would have trouble meeting each other without a 3rd party. I wonder if there is a way around the barrier.


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17 Apr 2025, 2:32 pm

Participant626 wrote:
I also cannot go up to strangers and spark conversation...


Have you tried?


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AzureChidori
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17 Apr 2025, 2:35 pm

I don't see the point of making sweeping generalizations. All women aren't the same.

For that matter, not all autistic people are the same; and not all of them share your same views and experiences.



Nades
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17 Apr 2025, 2:57 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Participant626 wrote:
I also cannot go up to strangers and spark conversation...


Have you tried?



A difficulty for a lot of autistics it seems. I have terrible trouble with it personally.



Nades
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17 Apr 2025, 2:59 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
I already explained to you why it’s not off-topic and why I mentioned it in relation to your own research. You can read back over my previous post if you like. If you’re interested, I could cite sources on this topic.

I’m not saying people are bigoted, but I do think various comments and the overall topic may not be appropriate for WP, but maybe Cornflake will disagree with me on that.


The overall topic is a generalisation, and a poorly worded one at that by OP. Steering the OP more on course will probably be the best course of action.



funeralxempire
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17 Apr 2025, 3:06 pm

Nades wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Participant626 wrote:
I also cannot go up to strangers and spark conversation...


Have you tried?



A difficulty for a lot of autistics it seems. I have terrible trouble with it personally.


I struggle with it too, but the alternative is even worse so I still try.

If someone constantly flinches from what they find difficult they'll never learn or improve.


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TwilightPrincess
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17 Apr 2025, 3:10 pm

Nades wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
I already explained to you why it’s not off-topic and why I mentioned it in relation to your own research. You can read back over my previous post if you like. If you’re interested, I could cite sources on this topic.

I’m not saying people are bigoted, but I do think various comments and the overall topic may not be appropriate for WP, but maybe Cornflake will disagree with me on that.


The overall topic is a generalisation, and a poorly worded one at that by OP. Steering the OP more on course will probably be the best course of action.
If the overall topic is a generalization, it might be a good idea to just start a thread about another topic. Otherwise, it’s going to keep returning to the same s**t and end up locked anyway. Not that it’s up to me.


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