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Fed up about my love life

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nick007
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09 Jul 2025, 1:19 pm

babybird wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
She probably thought I was ugly


Not necessarily
It's hard to know what she meant

I'm kind of thinking it was more a case of her standing up for herself
Either case James it's best to quit trying to hit on women a bars, especially when they've been drinking unless your wanting a woman who's an alcholic.


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Jamesy
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09 Jul 2025, 1:22 pm

nick007 wrote:
babybird wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
She probably thought I was ugly


Not necessarily
It's hard to know what she meant

I'm kind of thinking it was more a case of her standing up for herself
Either case James it's best to quit trying to hit on women a bars, especially when they've been drinking unless your wanting a woman who's an alcholic.



She doesn't drink



babybird
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09 Jul 2025, 1:45 pm

She sounds like a sensible person


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Jamesy
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09 Jul 2025, 1:57 pm

babybird wrote:
She sounds like a sensible person


Now I feel bad



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09 Jul 2025, 1:59 pm

Why


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09 Jul 2025, 2:03 pm

babybird wrote:
Why



Because I drink bud light when I go to the pub which has alcohol.in it



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09 Jul 2025, 2:06 pm

I've lost track of this now


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CockneyRebel
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10 Jul 2025, 9:06 am

Jamesy wrote:
Got a ladies number last night in London

She chatted to me on WhatsApp today but the moment I mentioned I volunteer for cancer research and don’t have a proper job she didn’t respond back/stopped texting me :cry:

She’s 25 by the way


Maybe you can tell your next suitor that you work at a cancer research place and not mention anything about not having a proper job.


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10 Jul 2025, 10:07 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Got a ladies number last night in London

She chatted to me on WhatsApp today but the moment I mentioned I volunteer for cancer research and don’t have a proper job she didn’t respond back/stopped texting me :cry:

She’s 25 by the way


Maybe you can tell your next suitor that you work at a cancer research place and not mention anything about not having a proper job.



At least volunteer for a good cause



Summer_Twilight
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10 Jul 2025, 10:24 am

Jamesy wrote:
36 in September still a virgin and never had a proper girlfriend.

Do you think it’s normal too feel fed up at this stage and not have any hope?


I went through that in my 20's as well and it was especially hard when a few of my friends were able to date and get married. Then meanwhile, I kept getting led on by a guy on the spectrum who kept me hooked for years. If you ask me, I was resentful towards him.



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10 Jul 2025, 6:30 pm

^that's why the sunk-cost fallacy is so DANGEROUS in romantic relationships, especially marriage!! !

As I have repeatedly said, the entire purpose of marriage and long-term relationships is to create an emotional & physical attachment to your partner

If you get married, you are forever bound to that person!

This is even more true if you have children together, it just creates further complications

I am saying all of this to give people advice about rushing into a relationship/marriage without first considering all the possible contingencies! !



EDIT: If you don't have children, it's easier to escape the marriage because you don't have to deal with alimony and child support!

But once you decide to have kids, you are creating the perfect conditions for imprisonment!! !

Really think hard and long about if you TRULY want to be married and produce children...



The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Jul 2025, 2:48 am

Jamesy wrote:
36 in September still a virgin and never had a proper girlfriend.

Do you think it’s normal too feel fed up at this stage and not have any hope?


Yes it is normal.

It is time to give up about romance.

Enjoy other stuff in life, and forget about girlfriends, you can still enjoy the booze and company in bars.

If a woman shows interest in you, that's great - but keep your expectations low.

There is a major cultural shift happening among young men worldwide , not just among autistic men , where they are increasingly leaving it up to women to make the first move. Otherwise, they see it as pointless and a waste of time.



nick007
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11 Jul 2025, 7:33 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
If you get married, you are forever bound to that person!
That's the reason I wanted to be married. What you consider to be voluntary imprisonment, I consider to be security & stability. It's easier to be suddenly dumped & abandoned by your partner when your not married. I figured married couples tend to be more willing to put in effort towards making their relationship work like talking things out & trying to find compromises since leaving & ending the relationship can be more complicated due to the legal hurdles. Of coarse there's LOTS of exceptions with this stuff.


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Summer_Twilight
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11 Jul 2025, 8:36 am

I would like to get married to a companion who gets me and accepts me for who I am. I would also like someone who I can love and appreciate as well.



Bensnyder91
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11 Jul 2025, 10:03 am

WantToHaveALife wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
^or "fed up about my love life situation"

I am proof that it IS possible for Autistic people to defy all statistics when it comes to finding a partner!! !

It's not easy but it's definitely possible if you are willing to put out the hard work and put your blood, sweat & tears into it!


definetley more true for men than for women, but yeah over the years, i've noticed that men on the autism spectrum have a high rate of reaching 30+ or older and have never been in a relationship before.

Yeah what adds fuel to fire in terms of resentment, is when i hear of stories of people, especially guys, men, who did not get into their first relationship until later than the societal norm, for example, i've heard of some stories of guys, men, who never had a girlfriend until their early 40s.

I have mixed emotions on stories like that, a part of me is glad they found someone, but at the same time, its depressing and resentful to think about, because its a reminder that not everyone gets to date and have relationships in their young youthful years, around the typical societal timeline.

Yes its a reminder that, obviously life and reality isn't fair at all, it can be very cruel and mean often times.


I definitely can relate to that and know how you feel.



Mikurotoro92
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11 Jul 2025, 11:22 am

nick007 wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
If you get married, you are forever bound to that person!
That's the reason I wanted to be married. What you consider to be voluntary imprisonment, I consider to be security & stability. It's easier to be suddenly dumped & abandoned by your partner when your not married. I figured married couples tend to be more willing to put in effort towards making their relationship work like talking things out & trying to find compromises since leaving & ending the relationship can be more complicated due to the legal hurdles. Of coarse there's LOTS of exceptions with this stuff.


Marriage only really becomes imprisonment when children enter the picture because that makes it harder to escape!! !

Perhaps that is what I meant?