Fed up about my love life
Double Retired
Veteran

Joined: 31 Jul 2020
Age: 70
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,828
Location: U.S.A. (Mid-Atlantic)
My personal experience...
I was terrible at dating. Very rarely was a gal interested in me, and I found those gals unacceptable (they repeatedly made poor choices...on things like career and finances).
When I turned 40 I gave up on ever getting a true, long-term girlfriend/spouse. I still went to social events but I was not looking for a gal, just for a pleasant few hours.
At one such event I met a gal that definitely interested me until I learned the practical obstacles.
- She lived on the other side of the city, approx. 100km (60 miles) from where I lived.
- A recurring event I managed (and hoped to interest her in) conflicted with her schedule.
I had a wonderful time talking to her that one evening and figured I would never see her again.
Quite a few weeks later she telephoned me at work. When we'd been chatting that past weekend I'd given her enough information to find me and to realize there was a favor I could easily do for her. I quickly agreed to the favor which did not require meeting in person. But, while we were chatting on the phone I realized there was another favor I could do for here and offered to loan her some things that would be useful to her. We agreed to meet in the parking lot of where she worked so I could give her the supplies she could use.
After we agreed to meet to exchange the supplies I asked if I could buy here supper, too. She agreed to supper.
We had a good evening. She was in the process of moving to nearer her job so it was practical to meet her more often. We ended up married; 20+ years later we are still married.
P.S. I'm an Aspie. There was one complication to meeting her in the parking lot where she worked. I couldn't remember what she looked like and wouldn't recognize her if I saw her. I went extra early and stood in the parking lot near my car hoping she would see me, recognize me, and stop. Fortunately she did.
Recommendation: Socialize and do not think of it as hunting trips. Just trying to meet nice people.
_________________
When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.
Glad to hear that the ND community is functioning so well in Belgium.
Hopefully other countries will catch up soon.
Yes indeed.
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- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
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The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,451
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
That seems something related to face blindness more than Asperger's.
Do you still struggle at recognizing her in a crowd?
Double Retired
Veteran

Joined: 31 Jul 2020
Age: 70
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,828
Location: U.S.A. (Mid-Atlantic)
From what I read on the Internet, face blindness frequently occurs with Autistic folk.
Certainly I have both.
And it provided some entertainment when I was getting my Adult Autism Assessment. My bride was not invited to the second appointment and the psychologist had made a significant change to here hair (a wig, maybe?). I honestly did not know whether it was the same person as from the first appointment. And I did not hide that.
(And, like I said, I knew I would not be able to recognize my future bride the second time we met. My bride insists she was the one I was there to meet.)
_________________
When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.
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