What do women really think of autistic men?

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They frighten me.

Sorry guys, it's nothing personal, but I've had one too many bad experiences with abusive guys trying to frame their abusive behavior as "sorry babe I'm just very neurospicy lol lol" So now if a guy tells me on a first date that he's on the spectrum, I'm slamming the "let's just be friends" button.

Online dating is cancer, dude. Try meeting women in real life. Take some art classes or hang out in some bars and eventually you'll meet a woman you click with. I'm also chronically single, but I've found that I get girlfriends really easily when I'm in the psych ward, because it's like the only time when I'm around other people long enough to form a connection with them. People bond through propinquity, which basically means the more time you spend together face-to-face, the more you end up liking each other. Unless you're some super-handsome gigachad, most women on dating apps will automatically swipe left on your face, because there's no human connection on those apps.

I'm gonna address the thread title & say that my opinion is that what women think of autistic men is dependent on the woman being asked as well as any autistic men or other autistic people she's known if she had known some.

There are three different stereotypes of autism. The more positive stereotype is that we are great with technology & have decent jobs in the STEM field; famous examples include Bill Gates & Elon Musk The second stereotype is that we have something like a less sever form of mental ret@rdation; the movie Rain Man might be somewhat responsible for that. The third stereotype is that autistics are something like psychopaths because we lack empathy; there was a site like a decade ago called something like Heartless Aspies for women who've been in abusive relationships with Aspie guys & a lot of the guys being hated on were probably not autistic & the women were confused about what autism was.

I've had three girlfriends & they had different opinions about me but none of them were NT.

My first thought I was very sweet, protective, & funny. But I became unstable & a bit possessive. She had dyslexia & ADHD & I also have those things which is a major reason we connected. We met on a forum for a common interest.

My second thought I was sweet at first. But very immature, unstable, needy, possessive, irresponsible, controlling, & demanding. She was autistic & we met on this forum.

My current thinks I'm usually very sweet, cute, affectionate, funny, protective, loyal, understanding, laid back, easy-going, level-headed, & logical. But Cass also thinks I'm a bit controlling & demanding at times. She's also on the spectrum & we met on this forum as well. Cass has a brother who's been diagnosed with Asergers since he was little & Cass has a much more negative opinion of him than me or other autistics in general. Her brother is the rare actual Aspie that would be complained about on Heartless Aspies but he's been single for most of his life.

As for as what other people think of me, it seems to majorly vary & different people who known me in the same environment at the same time can even have opposite opinions of me, for example~ some think I'm very funny vs me having no sense of humor, very talkative vs very quiet, very smart vs very stupid, hard-working vs lazy, sweet vs a$$hole, caring vs apathetic, mature vs immature, feminist vs misogynist, helpful vs selfish. I think the issue is that people try to categorize me at least on a subconscious level & I do not conform to any stereotype & that throws them for a loop.


I know this thread was asking about what women think of autistic men but I will mention that my second & current girlfriend were very different from each other despite them both being on the spectrum.

My second was in college & had a high desire to be more independent. She was the mature one in the relationship despite me being 9 years older than her. She was talking some courses in college related to disability stuff & looking back I kind of felt like I was a special project for her. Our relationship was very one-sided, hers due to life circumstances & our relationship was not viable long-term. I subconsciously knew that but was very desperate to make it work because I had been single for 8 years straight before getting in a relationship with her. I got frustrated because I felt like I was the only one trying(probably not the case but it felt like that to me) & I took things out on her instead of admitting our relationship was not gonna work & ending things myself.

My current girlfriend has lots of various other issues besides autism & I do as well & some things we have in common & some we don't. We really connect & relate to each other. Cass is about half a year older than me but a lot more on my level in lots of ways than my second girlfriend was. Cass is usually very sweet, loving, supportive, affectionate, loyal to a fault, & has a similar sense of humor as me. But in our relationship she's the moody, unstable, immature, & weird one. For some reason that tends to make my own mental issues better overall, perhaps it's because I feel like I'm needed to be better for her sake. My issues were a lot worse living with my parents & I think a major reason is because I felt like my mom resented me. I'm just not compatible with women who are more independent & want more space in a relationship.

I sadly lost my partner David and miss him so much! !!

I will start over with dating again when I am ready if I still desire to reach the marriage goal!