What's so bad about a complement?

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There was this girl in a class that I had to install printers on and she seemed very interested in what I was doing, and she remarked on how she'd never seen anyone do all of that computer stuff so fast and she was already helping me out by telling me what was wrong with the other stuff. Then I told her that she had really pretty eyes and I just thought she should know that, then and her and the guy next to her looked at me like I was really strange. And then she replied "But my eyes are just brown", and then I said that they're really shiny and stuff. And she didn't really say anything to me after that but she would still look at what I was doing on the computer.

wtf

Perhaps the guy next to her was her boyfriend or something?

ok I can't speak for anyone else, but personally I kinda dislike such compliments, i.e. compliments about stuff that I had nothing to do with. I'm always happy when f.ex. my clothes get complimented (I pick them myself) or my hair (I cut it myself) or even better - my work. but it would feel weird to thank for a compliment like "you have pretty eyes" because I didn't make the eyes... maybe my parents could be complimented about that, but then you'd have to compliment all my other ancestors with this particular eye gene, ad infinitum

so yeah, I guess it's safest to compliment people about stuff that they've done themselves, it's always nice to be appreciated. compliments about appearance can make one feel objectified.

Complememnting a girl's looks is hitting on her. She didn't want that.

Well, my theory is that the guy next to her was her boyfriend, or maybe she wasn't expecting the compliment. Some girls go very shy.

I highly doubt the guy next to her was her boyfriend, but rather just another classmate.

Maybe I just shouldn't bother to complement people anymore because that's too big a of a f**king deal for people to just accept it and not get offended.

Well, I'm really shy and I'd still say "thank you" if someone complimented my eyes. (I think my eyes are my best feature...)

But maybe she was taken off guard. It sounds like it was kind of random. Maybe you should've complimented her expertise first and saved the eyes for later? The conversation might've at least continued then.

So let me get this straight, you and this lady were having an in-depth technical discussion about printers, and how to hook them up. Then, out of left field, you make a comment about her eyes. Let me explain why this is so wrong.

One has no control over their eyes. You either have nice eyes or you don't. Mentioning eyes is sort of a standard pick-up line that men use on women because it involves no creative thought. By saying, "You have nice eyes" it ends whatever conversation that is going on at the time and focuses the attention on beauty, the type of beauty that is a gift from god, not necessarily anything this lady may have created herself, like muscle or nice hair color.

So here this lady is appreciating your efforts to fix all her technical problems and she might think she is learning something from you and, instead of engaging her in what she wants to talk about, you interrupt the conversation with a thoughtless pick-up line.

Mentioning someone's nice eyes is appropriate when you are about to kiss a woman, or after you made love to her, not when you are fixing her printer in a profession situation. That was an inappropriate comment.

And how was I to know that. I've said it before and it wasn't such a bad reaction, I thought it was a harmless comment. God, it's WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too easy to do something wrong. Why the hell do I bother any more. F**k it.

You could have said:

"Wow, you seem very technically adept!"

"Hey, you seem to know a lot about these printers, maybe I could ask YOU for help sometime."

She would have beamed at those lines. You would be complimenting her on her skillset, something of which she takes great pride.

People don't take compliments as factual statements. Complimenting the eyes is standard cheesy romantic talk.

Does she have pretty eyes? If you were sincere, the 'shiny and stuff' comment was cute. Just because she didn't react well doesn't mean she didn't like the compliment. It was just surprising. But you probably say things 'out of left field' a lot, and people are used to it. They may even find it charming and refreshing.

Although commenting on a person's eyes is usually a little intimate, sometimes it's just a comment about the eyes. I have unusually bright blue eyes, but since I don't look people in the eye very much, and wear photo-grey glasses, people don't see them very much. Sometimes I'll take my glasses off and will look toward someone, or make brief eye contact, and they'll say "wow, you have amazing eyes". It feels very awkward to me, and I'll usually look confused and say "I do?", or an uncomfortable "thanks". I'm pretty sure that most of the time they're not hitting on me.

my god! i feel the same way as you do! i can't stand compliments having to do with my physical appearance because they're trying to make me believe something i'm not.
for me it's pretty sweet to be complimented on my work, my clothes, make-up, or hair. i just don't want anyone saying anything about my eyes, nose, or my body in general.

As a man, I have to disagree. First of all it's moot on commenting on the eyes always being inappropriate - although the timing was way off - he should have waited, and better yet pick something to complement her on that she had some control over.

But the real issue is as I see it he has to hi-light that he likes her OTHER than in a work situation. If he just keeps the area of their connection to "business" and only complements her on her expertise within the computer area she might not know that he wants more - hell = I'd predict it would be taken as a peer complement having no sexual undertone whatsoever. If you do go that route you MUST seque it to something that hints at romantic interest.

By hiding your intentions from a woman you are really deceiving her - so honesty (even with utter rejection) is the best policy, else he just friendzones himself (and later might have to hear endless reports of how her boyfriend is cruel to him, all the while the fact that he never told her how he really feels for her is eating away his insides, and she never sees him as a romantic interest and is angry with how he feels and soon one of them would just break off the friendship it would be too intense).

Better to have her your mortal enemy for a brief instant rather than pining away, wasting your emotional energy and your precious time.

Carpe diem.

OK I'll make sure to diss something about your body that would make you feel better I'm sure.

And if you have such a low self-opinion of your looks that the mere mention of you possibly being attractive sends you into a panic, you might seek out some therapy for that issue. GOD men can't win today no matter what. Thank God I have a good girlfriend who just blushes when I complement her beauty and I can see I made her day with the complement (which I truly believe)

it doesn't have anything to do with low self-esteem or anything like that. some people just don't identify with their bodies that much. I certainly don't *hate* such compliments nor find them rude, I'm just as indifferent to people complimenting my looks as I would be to them complimenting some random object that I had nothing to do with