How does someone with issues/problems find somone?

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When discussing relationship stuff here & lots of other sites; I keep hearing how being needy, desperate, dependent, depressed, insecure ect are very negative qualities. I have lots of so-called "negative" qualities & I do have lots of issues/problems but I do NOT think that they make me a horrible person. I think a lot of my problems are because others do not give me a chance or accept me. I'm much more attracted to people who do have so-called "negative" qualities because I can better relate & I think having someone who cares & understands can be a major help. Does anyone have any ideas on how I can find women who also have so-called "negative" qualities

I myself am attracted to 4/5 of the qualities that you listed. "Insecure" being the only one that I'd rather her not have.
As to where you can find any - shouldn't there be plenty on this site?

Some are not attracted to others who have those qualities

nick, I think you need to think about what causes your insecurities, and try to address them. Look for ways to improve yourself, and work on your issues.

And you'd be surprised at how many people out there also have horrible self esteem. Often it's hidden below the surface. I believe that some degree of poor self esteem is just a consequence of being born into a western society, and then with AS on top, well, the sky's the limit.

A lot of my insecurities are because people do not understand or accept me due to AS & physical disabilities. Most all my life I felt ridiculed & like I was a burden. It's very likely that I will have some issues for the rest of my life unless medical science can cure AS & other things. I'm NOT expecting or wanting anyone to fix my problems or take care of me but I want to find someone who I can be close to, who cares about me & is a better person with me in their life.

I think your rite about low self-esteem being part of society here. In some ways thou I feel I have pretty high self-esteem because I'm NOT trying to change my looks or doing things to impress others. I'm fairly comfortable with myself the way I am but it seems society & the dating scene would much rather if I wer to pretend to be something that I'm not instead of being open & honest about myself. I would love to find a woman who has issues/problems but has a realistic view about finding someone instead of looking for someone who's perfect but then settling for someone who abuses her. It's hard to feel good about myself when I'm more undesirable than lairs, cheaters & abusers

The problem is thinking too much and doing too little.

I agree with everything you said nick. I've also been searching for someone with "negative" qualities as well. No luck so far. Just keep looking and you'll find her.

I'm an aspie, but I'm sorry, I don't understand this at all. How can you want someone who's like that? A "hero" complex? If you can't handle your own issues, and try to take on someone else's problems, all that you're going to get is alot of resentment, especially if the other person can't cope with your problems.
There's so many on here that have problems with insecurity and self-loathing, don't you think that shows when you're around other people? You might never love yourself, but you should at least learn to like yourself.

craigslist

I do like myself & I can handle my issues but other people feel I have too many problems to be in a relationship. Lots of people are insecure because they had problems with other people not liking em or accepting em the way they wer. I do NOT see insecurity & lots of other so-called "negative" qualities as problems like most people seem to. Does anyone have any advice on how I can find someone who mite actually be accepting of me

I'm having to let them find me, because I absolutely can't find anything. And they haven't found me yet either.

I don't think I did a good job of explaining why I want someone with problems.
Most my entire life I was extremely misunderstood & I never felt like I fit-in with anyone. When I was 20 I was going true a rough phase & I was really frustrated about everything in life. I felt like I must of been a horrible person & I was probably on the verge of flipping-out & going psycho & I was ranting about stuff online & I started chatting with someone who really seemed to understand me. She had a lot of weird things in common with me; she was dyslexic, had very bad ADHD, was obsessive compulsive & had minor tremors. We really connected & became very close friends. She had some problems as well & I listened to her & her problems started getting better. I realized that my problems wer not as bad either & that I was NOT the horrible person I thought I was. For the 1st time in my life I was actually happy because I had someone who understood me & cared about me. I was able to improve some of my problems because I had someone who I could talk things over with. I was taking steps to be more independent because I did not want to be dependent on her; I wanted to take care of her because I loved her. I also tried to help her be more independent because I wanted her to be able to deal with things herself when I wasn't around(we weren't together offline much because of distance & I was very actively looking for a job so I figured I'd be spending much less time online soon). Things fell apart eventually thou for lots of different rezones. I do not think it was a "hero" complex. I truly cared about her & I didn't want her to be dependent on me but I wanted her to be happy & have the best life possible even if it was not with me. She motivated me to be more independent. Some people would call that codependency & some docs/psychos diagnosed me as codependent(amongst lots of other things) but I honestly think the relationship made me a better person & the relationship was not dysfunctional till towards the end. I think I can connect much better to people who have problems because of everything I have & I know what it's like not to have anyone to turn to when your dealing with things. Talking things over with people helps me sort things out myself

I personally wouldn't bother. Unfortunately a lot of women have a double standard where they expect men to listen to their problems but not vice versa.

This doesn't just apply to relationships but friendships as well.

I know what you mean. I had quite a few women friends online that I only hear from when they have something important they want to talk about & 1ce that's done; they disappear. Some of em keep chasing guys who are completely using em & they keep talking about how they wish their guy was more like me but when I suggest they date me; they get weirded out.

with a very large mallet

A sniper scope is so much more refined.

Your best bet to find a woman with those characteristics may be to volunteer at a battered women's shelter. If it's come to that, they might be the ones who have finally had enough to start actually considering a "nice guy" if they ever decide to have a man again.