Judging?

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Auriya
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05 Oct 2010, 1:26 pm

Its very hard for me to meet girls but all I have met of the opposite sex judge you and don't really get to know you.
Is that the case for everyone with AS?
I gather its the social ackwardness and different interests. IE i like video games instead of drinking/going to bars.
I have pretty much given up. I just think its wrong and ignorant of people to be like this.
I've been judged all my life and not understood. I don't think anyone is better then anyone. We are all the same.
I've been told by alot of older people how good a person I am.

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emlion
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05 Oct 2010, 1:33 pm

Auriya wrote:

Not EVERY girl will judge you this way.
You just need to find a place to meet girls who have the same interests as you.
I've never judged a potential boyfriend on a first impression; I always gave them one date chance; if then we didn't 'click' or i thought he was a bad person, i'd not see him again.

You've been told you're a good person; it's only a matter of time before a potential mate tells you the same thing.

Asp-Z
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05 Oct 2010, 1:44 pm

Most NTs judge people for being different to them. They expect every one to conform just like they do. This is true for both sexes.

Erisad
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05 Oct 2010, 1:44 pm

Guys judge me on the first impression and I never get another chance. Also, in the US, there are 5.4 million more women than there are men. So I have to compete against all these women or move to another country. "There's someone for everyone" ha!

nick007
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05 Oct 2010, 2:03 pm

I'm judged by most everyone. Given up is probably a good idea because very few women will ever take a chance on me

emlion
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05 Oct 2010, 2:05 pm

you all have such negative attitudes about it.
it only takes one person to accept you for who you are and you don't have to worry about anyone else then.

nick007
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05 Oct 2010, 2:10 pm

emlion wrote:

:( you all have such negative attitudes about it.
it only takes one person to accept you for who you are and you don't have to worry about anyone else then.

Yes but everyone assumes I'm on pot & the only woman who ever accepted me was on coke & other stuff. I'm straight-edge & I can NOT deal with druggies

Lene
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05 Oct 2010, 2:51 pm

Everyone judges everyone else. Not just women, not just NTs.

emlion
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05 Oct 2010, 3:07 pm

Lene wrote:

Everyone judges everyone else. Not just women, not just NTs.

True. But the judgements shouldn't stop people giving others a chance.

Erisad
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05 Oct 2010, 4:01 pm

emlion wrote:

:( you all have such negative attitudes about it.
it only takes one person to accept you for who you are and you don't have to worry about anyone else then.

Then where the f**k is he? I'm guessing he's on the opposite end of the planet or killed himself already because I haven't found him. Trust me, girls like me do not find happiness. That's for the beautiful people.

emlion
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05 Oct 2010, 4:15 pm

Erisad wrote:

emlion wrote:

:( you all have such negative attitudes about it.
it only takes one person to accept you for who you are and you don't have to worry about anyone else then.

Untrue! I'm not beautiful and I found a lovely guy. Eventually.
Giving up is never an option.
Saying that i've had a few drinks; in the sober light of day I may have a different opinion.

Erisad
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05 Oct 2010, 4:18 pm

emlion wrote:

Erisad wrote:

emlion wrote:

:( you all have such negative attitudes about it.
it only takes one person to accept you for who you are and you don't have to worry about anyone else then.

Untrue! I'm not beautiful and I found a lovely guy. Eventually.
Giving up is never an option.
Saying that i've had a few drinks; in the sober light of day I may have a different opinion.

Look, I don't have that much longer until I'm confined into my family's house and therefore never going to have anything social until I get my license, car and money to move out. When I graduate in May, I suspect it'll take at least 5 years for me to accomplish all that. So 5 years of no interaction but with coworkers (they never want to talk to me because I'm the "weird fat one") and my family. I think I'd shoot myself. D:

Also, it's good to know that your optimism for my situation is only a by-product of alcohol. I'm sure when you sober up you'll find that I'm f*****g hopeless. I wish I had some vodka right now. :/

emlion
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05 Oct 2010, 4:30 pm

Erisad wrote:

emlion wrote:

Erisad wrote:

emlion wrote:

:( you all have such negative attitudes about it.
it only takes one person to accept you for who you are and you don't have to worry about anyone else then.

Untrue! I'm not beautiful and I found a lovely guy. Eventually.
Giving up is never an option.
Saying that i've had a few drinks; in the sober light of day I may have a different opinion.

Look, I don't have that much longer until I'm confined into my family's house and therefore never going to have anything social until I get my license, car and money to move out. When I graduate in May, I suspect it'll take at least 5 years for me to accomplish all that. So 5 years of no interaction but with coworkers (they never want to talk to me because I'm the "weird fat one") and my family. I think I'd shoot myself. D:

Also, it's good to know that your optimism for my situation is only a by-product of alcohol. I'm sure when you sober up you'll find that I'm f***ing hopeless. I wish I had some vodka right now. :/

I didn't mean it like that! D':
I meant i'm not usually so optimistic.
And from all your posts you seem like a lovely person.
People who treat you in a bad way are missing out on you.

Janissy
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05 Oct 2010, 4:36 pm

Auriya wrote:

I gather its the social ackwardness and different interests. IE i like video games instead of drinking/going to bars.
.

I bolded the important part.

Judging is actually a good thing. It prevents people (sometimes) from getting into relationships with people they are incompatible with. You would be absolutely miserable if one of the girls who likes drinking and going to bars gave you a chance. What do you think she would want to do on a date? She would want to go to a bar and drink. And you would hate that and pray for the evening to be over. Her judgement that you shouldn't go out even once with her saves you from that very unpleasant evening with somebody you aren't compatible with.

Look for girls who share your interests. There are girls who like video games too. You are more likely to be compatible with one of them. One of them will look at you and judge that you will not be a man who will drag her to a bar but instead will play videogames with her. And that will be a good judgement.

Erisad
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05 Oct 2010, 4:41 pm

emlion wrote:

Erisad wrote:

emlion wrote:

Erisad wrote:

emlion wrote:

:( you all have such negative attitudes about it.
it only takes one person to accept you for who you are and you don't have to worry about anyone else then.

Untrue! I'm not beautiful and I found a lovely guy. Eventually.
Giving up is never an option.
Saying that i've had a few drinks; in the sober light of day I may have a different opinion.

Look, I don't have that much longer until I'm confined into my family's house and therefore never going to have anything social until I get my license, car and money to move out. When I graduate in May, I suspect it'll take at least 5 years for me to accomplish all that. So 5 years of no interaction but with coworkers (they never want to talk to me because I'm the "weird fat one") and my family. I think I'd shoot myself. D:

Also, it's good to know that your optimism for my situation is only a by-product of alcohol. I'm sure when you sober up you'll find that I'm f***ing hopeless. I wish I had some vodka right now. :/

I didn't mean it like that! D':
I meant i'm not usually so optimistic.
And from all your posts you seem like a lovely person.
People who treat you in a bad way are missing out on you.

Thanks but I don't think they see it that way. Hell, I've had people set me up to try and get me fired just because they didn't like me. I ended up getting laid off by the new manager who forgot who I was. I'm a weird and fat girl with no talents to speak of, who people mistreat for their own amusement. They never loved me and I doubt that anyone else ever will. D:

And for those of you who don't like that I've been feeling emotional lately: f**k YOU. I'm not forcing you to read my posts. If you don't like what I have to say, scroll down. I'm tired of being attacked for how I feel.

emlion
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05 Oct 2010, 4:45 pm

Erisad wrote:

emlion wrote:

Erisad wrote:

emlion wrote:

Erisad wrote:

emlion wrote:

:( you all have such negative attitudes about it.
it only takes one person to accept you for who you are and you don't have to worry about anyone else then.

Untrue! I'm not beautiful and I found a lovely guy. Eventually.
Giving up is never an option.
Saying that i've had a few drinks; in the sober light of day I may have a different opinion.

Look, I don't have that much longer until I'm confined into my family's house and therefore never going to have anything social until I get my license, car and money to move out. When I graduate in May, I suspect it'll take at least 5 years for me to accomplish all that. So 5 years of no interaction but with coworkers (they never want to talk to me because I'm the "weird fat one") and my family. I think I'd shoot myself. D:

Also, it's good to know that your optimism for my situation is only a by-product of alcohol. I'm sure when you sober up you'll find that I'm f***ing hopeless. I wish I had some vodka right now. :/

I didn't mean it like that! D':
I meant i'm not usually so optimistic.
And from all your posts you seem like a lovely person.
People who treat you in a bad way are missing out on you.

if you ever want someone to rant to/talk to - i'd be willing to listen.

i know totally what it's like for everyone to hurt you. It sucks big time.

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