Age gap relationships

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It has often been discussed on WP that Aspies often get along better socially with people significantly younger or older than them, especially when they are a relatively independent minded Aspie.

How far could this translate into a better chance romantically, when someone is of a significantly different age? No doubt the partner would have to be similarly independently minded (that is, far from being a herd mentality member of society). If people get along with others not their own age e.g. let's say for the sake of argument I'm 35, and my friends tend to be aged around 20 and around 55-60, can it be the same regarding chances with romantic partners? Most people wish to keep within a conventional age range compared to themselves though.

In one of the popular books about AS, probably Tony Attwood's Complete Guide to Asperger Syndrome, there was a mention of a 22-year old male Aspie who had a girlfriend aged 72, and regularly beat her. Apart from the domestic violence issue, and concentrating on the age difference, a tone of sheer consternation and incredulity was expressed in the publication about the age difference. This sort of tone was unhealthy, as if it was more serious than the violence (if it wasn't in fact Tony Attwood I apologise to him)! Instead I'd encourage the age difference as a healthy thing if this is how people are able to connect as potential partners and if this is what it takes.

Please note I'm talking purely about adult-adult relationships here, of whatever age. Nothing involving underage.

Interesting thread.

I was always more accepted by much younger or older people in terms of life and tolerating me.

As far as relationships go, I don't have much experience, all I can say is age is only a number if you have high compatibility in interests and personality.

i like older men, but i get intimidated by them:/
i dont know why that is because im often ok with older women as friends

people my age-ish or younger seem to be more on my level?

I've so wished I were attracted to older men, because at my age, that's mostly who's looking to date me. I just can't look at a man who's the age of my father like a lover. I just can't. Maybe if he were exceptionally good-looking, but something just feels "off". I love to look at men much younger than me, but I don't think I'd enjoy dating them, except for the stamina.

I tend to have better "luck" with others ten+ years askew of my age currently.
When I was in my twenties the balance was within three to four years of my age. However nowadays I seem to have more "luck" with university students or my friends' parents than people of my own age.
If my so-called luck translated into a proper relationship I'd not complain.
It doesn't, but I still shall not complain.
I do note however that I tend to not gain attraction from people my age or near it.
But then again most people underestimate my age anyway.
I'm interested to hear others' experiences in this regard.

17 year old girls are horrible.
I'd probably prefer to be with someone who's older than me and more mature than the average person of my age. But somebody who's 25 now is going to be 30 when I graduate from university...meh.

My ex-wife was 15 years younger than me, but it never seemed to be an issue.

Plenty of other issues though, that had nothing to do with age...

I've always gotten along better with people older than me. Every guy I've ever been romantically interested in has been at least a year older than me. Current BF is 9.25 years older than me and it's going well. I draw the line at 12 years older than me, cause I don't want my significant other to be closer in age to my parents than me, that's just a little weird. If my partner was female, I'd be ok with her being a bit younger than me, but I wouldn't want a big age gap if I'm the older one cause I'd feel like a creeper.

Edited cause I screwed up the math and he called me on it lol.

I dated a 16 year old when I was 19, and everyone around me thought this was too big of a gap. For f**k's sake! Although I think their discomfort had less to do with the age gap and more to do with the fact that he was a minor and I wasn't. It's kind of funny that, as far as the government is concerned, I'm a rapist.

I have almost always dated women who were 5-10 years older than me. Those relationships seemed to work out far better than when I dated women who were my age, or younger. Note that this is a general rule, because my current partner is 2 years younger and we have been together for 14 years now. She's exceptional, as she is able to cope with my AS issues and meltdowns.

FWIW, My husband is 14 years older than me.
We're married 22 years and lived together for 3 years before getting married for a total of 25 years together.
We haven't killed each other yet Seriously though, I think part of why it works is the age difference. We don't expect each other to be the same as us as we are often in different stages of life. We both like our space to some degree and have some common interests and some separate interests. We have 2 children 17 & 21.

I have always related better to people older than me. I can relate to some that are younger, but it takes more work on my part.

My ex-husband was only 4 months older than me. He was an exception, really. I believe the reason for this is because I used to have a buffer age... started at 1 year difference and a few months ago it was 4 years. A couple of weeks ago, I decided this age-range of dateability was kind of dumb and actually limited me as far as those I could possibly be compatible with.

That's neither here nor there, though. I'm not dating anyone for a while. Perhaps sometime in the future, I may consider relationships again. (or if someone really worth it appears out of nowhere... )

I really do not like guys my age. I generally go for a little older. Not sure why, as all my friends are younger than me, and I can be quite immature. But something about guys in their 20s, I am never really attracted to them...
But yeah, its not like I date anyone anyways soooo it doesn't much matter.

honestly anyone my age im not attracted to for some odd reason(realy i have no idea why), im ether attracted to older or younger women

but not to old(4-6 years difference) and not to young(at least 18 )

In my limited experience anything the least bit serious was with someone close to my age. Though at this point I could maybe see myself dating someone significantly younger, as long as she's of legal drinking age But older would be tough for me. I look young for my age and I'm a bit immature too, and probably not quite where I should be in terms of life experience or relationship experience at this age. It would be so weird to date someone who was in her 30s, and looked like she was in her 30s, and acted like she was in her 30s. But then maybe I'm just a little man-child