Going places alone.

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Although it sounds kind of pathetic (it's not actually) I've really had a surprisingly good time "dating" myself recently (I was just FWB before... )

I've done a lot of traveling alone (including international), but now I'm going to restaurants, conventions, concerts, etc alone - things which I really used to think of as "couples" activities, and I'm surprised to find that I enjoy them for what they are instead of feeling like a loser/misfit.

I think it has a lot to do with my diagnosis and the fact that I understand my place in the world a lot better than I used to: I'm Aspergian now, and not just a defective NT - I have my own way of doing things and there's nothing wrong with that. There's an excellent possibility that I will never find someone compatible with me, but that doesn't mean I have to stay at home and not do things that I enjoy just because I am afraid of what people think about me.

Anyone else feel this way?

How does it sound pathetic? Anyway, I have gone to places alone before, but most of the time, it feels like that someone will judge me. I try not to care when I do go somewhere by myself, especially since I will likely never see them again. I sometimes have lots of fun doing things with only myself. It's good to do stuff with others too, but sometimes, I like just doing stuff with no one else in public.

i am in a relationship and i still like to go to places on my own sometimes.
to keep my own sense of person. and i like my own company.

I didn't know I was being pathetic when I went places alone. Thanks for the enlightenment, Grisha.

I have gone to lots of places by myself and I see couples there sharing and experience and just keep thinking thats something I will never experience-going alone all the time and not going with another person is alI I seem to ever do and I can not seem to make a comparison so I don't know if I would like a companion or not but what I see with other couples it looks like they are having a great time.

I think I would still do things alone too even if I had the choice. I just can't believe how many experiences I let pass by because I was afraid of what total strangers would think of me...

I like to dance in the rain by myself in public, what strangers I will never see again think of me isn't really an issue.

Seeing someone do something like that makes me (almost ) want to smile - and I'm sure I'm not the only one: it's probable that you're doing the world a favor!

Yeah, I used to be like that. Being alone didn't stop me from doing anything. The trick for me was unlearning some of those habits and being more inclusive.

Did you find this to be a hard transition?

You mean you had a choice to do things alone that you had to unlearn?

I actually used to do pretty much everything alone before I got into a relationship with my ex. I found the transition quite difficult, only made easier by seeing him (at the beginning of the relationship) once a week or less.

How about concerts? Those feel the weirdest to me when I'm alone. I will be attending my first concert by myself in many years on Saturday night, I'm hoping it feels OK enough to do it more - there's a lot of artists/bands touring right now that I really enjoy...

I've never been to a concert, alone or otherwise. The thought of being in the middle of s crowd of such magnitude freaks me out.

I've seen live bands in bars, though. Alone. That was nice.

Wait... this Saturday? I think my cousin's band, Sucker Punch, is opening.... wait no. That's friday. Nevermind.

Yes and no.

Eating with someone else in public was not my routine. No quiet, no nose in my newspaper. But I adjusted.

And I had to think before just doing something alone without inviting my partner. I'd go see a movie or something and then offer her a review later. If you do that a few times, someone will notice.