Haven't heard from gf in over 2 weeks.

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That is, the girl I've been dating. I guess that anyone here who's seen my previous posts will know that it's long distance. I thought we had made it official the last time that we actually saw each other. I was in the process of organizing to possibly take a day off work so that I could visit her at her house. However, the last time she actually e-mailed me, on about the 7th of September, she said that we will have to postpone any plans that we may have. You see, it looks like she's going through a tough time at the moment and her life also got bit complicated. She said that she would be visiting her grandmother twice a week who was now in ICU, and would have to be looked after in a retirement village for the rest of her life she ever recovers. Work-wise, she also got a new high profile project that she's extremely busy with (she works on web design). She is also a brides made for her friends wedding in October, which I think she's been preparing for as well.

The trouble is, she hasn't contacted me or replied to e-mails since. At first, I wasn't worried because she often takes a week to e-mail me when she's busy. I've left her two voice mail messages on her cell phone (she rarely answers her phone because she leaves it lying all over the place) and I've sent her another e-mail. I'm getting worried. I know that she's been on-line though because she still has friends on OKCupid that she chats to. Even if we don't see each other for a while, I'd prefer it if do at least remain in contact each other. Can you guys please give me advice or at least explain to me what you think she might be going through as to not want to contact me at all because I'm kind of worried.

are you sure she's you're girlfriend:/

being soo busy you can't even leave a quick email or text in 2weeks sounds both unviable and ungirlfriendly

does she have shutdowns?

I thought she was. Although, this is the first time she's ever not contacted me for this long. When I phone her, she rarely answers because she's careless with her phone, but she has always gotten back to me. She usually hates talking on the phone, so she usually e-mails me. I don't know if she has shutdowns but she has told me that she has gone though periods of time when she doesn't want her friends to visit etc. and sometimes she has only e-mailed after a week, usually apologizing. But I wasn't too worried about those things because she's not the kind of person who'll text every second day and I don't really need to be contacted every day but 2 weeks is bit much.

Let's put it this way, she's very similar to me in some ways, even though she's technically NT (she hates that term by the way) and my similar characteristics could be attributed to AS.

Ok, so does anyone else have some advice?

It's long distance and you haven't talked in 2 weeks.. it really doesn't sound like there's anything going on then.. I talk every 2 weeks even to my not so close friends.. or even acquiantences..

I would shoot her an email saying that you hope she's doing well, suggest you are a little worried, and ask her to drop you a note when she has a chance. Then stop contacting her. If she hasn't contacted you in a few weeks, try another if you feel like it, then send an overly polite see-ya. Nothing like being polite to make people feel like s***.

She may be busy and bad at multitasking or she may not know how to end things properly. The details suggest the latter. Let it breathe and see.

I like simon_says' idea. Also, could ask the friend you mentioned if something happened? That's the trouble with long-distance. A person could get run over and killed and never come online again, and nobody online would ever know, failing some serious private investigating.

Long distance relationships require some sort of regular contact to keep afloat; and yes, two weeks is a bit much. Since you know she's chatting with others, you know she's not incapacitated.

Start now assuming that she's lost interest. Continued requests for her to reply to you will feel needy to both you and her.

Don't worry about it. Enjoy and be happy in who you are, and don't allow your personal contentment be contingent on another, because sooner or later, the other person will let you down. Maybe send a feeler, but if she doesn't write back, f**k her. She's just one more fish, with plenty more like her. Remember your initial success, and build on it. Remember you ARE capable of dating, it just didn't work with her.

And DEFINITELY don't be like this crazy b***h:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qg-heCy0CbQ[/youtube]

God you're angry. Have you thought about taking up relaxation meditation?

Not angry. Empowered. I quit worrying about women, and I'm now focused on my own happiness. I LIKE my life, and I've found contentment. If a girl wants to share in that, I might be open to it, but if not, I'm fine with that. I've learned to be happy in myself, and not make it contingent on another, because frankly everyone WILL let you down sooner or later.

I saw this guy who was suffering because the other person evidently doesn't care to contact him. I was him in the past, many, many times, until I quit caring. "She won't write back? Fine. Her loss." I'm trying to convince him that he needs to find contentment first, to be happy as he is, on his own, and not worry so much about women. It made me miserable most of my life, but no longer. I simply enjoy BEING.

You don't sound it.

Someone who is happy with their life doesn't get so angry at others.

The video was boring. I skipped ahead knowing that this wasn't going well any how.

I already have sent her an e-mail. My previous experience suggests that she's just bad at multitasking, at least I hope that's the case because I don't want to end it. I'll see if she replies by the end of the week.

That was totally unnecessary. I'm not angry at all and I don't know if it's over yet. Please don't insult my gf.

Wait, you told HER about WP?



Jono, there are plenty of deep and personal stuff you posted on this site, few of your past posts were little bitter too. This forum is a haven Jono, a confession room, some of the stuff we say here might sound creepy, highly insecure and scare off people....and honestly most of the stuff said here would be under a certain circumstance/mood, and it's unfairly representative of the person as a whole.

You shouldn't disclose such secrets so quickly. She doesn't have to know everything what've passed in your mind.