Wow this woman is messed up!

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Ok so before my class I noticed this really hot girl I was attracted to that took the elevator with me to the same floor. We didn't really talk but just said hello and smiled, but then after class I noticed her walking to her car and I was moved to hit on her(usually a feeling I don't get). I sometimes get these urges to just approach women even though I know that I will almost 100% be rejected. I have no idea why it sounds stupid I know. I guess it is just some cynical social experiment for me only just to confirm my place in the world. So that when I am in fact rejected or I creep out a girl, I can just say I told myself so. Anyway, I approach this girl and I actually say this: "Oh hey your the same girl I saw before class." Then she replied that is most likely because our classes start and end at around the same times and I of course agree, but I just mentioned that I usually don't pass by the same person before and after class. Then I ask her if she would like to hangout sometime, but I am totally awkward like I always am so she becomes awkward too and kind of pushes me away with her body language at first and mentions that she has a boyfriend that is overprotective. Right after she says this she can see that I have stopped talking and walking next to her and I guess she realized that I gave up hitting on her and then she did the strangest thing...she actually stopped walking too and then gave me her number. I am assuming she only gave me her number because she felt bad on some level for giving off such a cold reaction towards me and pretended to be somewhat interested to kind of let me down easy. Then I said: "Well you gave me your number, but you tell me your bf is overprotective..."Then she said: "We will see what happens." This kind of statement bothers me on many levels. First off, what exactly does she mean by this and why did she give me her number? Does she possibly mean we will possibly meet up and hangout if things don't go well with her bf or if she somehow can hangout with me without him finding out OR is her statement more of a threat such as: Let's see what my overprotective bf will think and how he will react to this kind of thing? I have been in a very similar conversation with a girl before, so ladies please explain what the heck just happened?

Maybe she's not happy with her relationship and is trying to keep her options open....I don't know why she would give you her number if she does not want you to talk to her. but yeah that is sort of weird.

1. She actually does want to hang out with you, and you should call her.

I am supremely unqualified to advise you on how to do this, so hopefully someone else who knows what the f*ck they are talking about will chime in...

2. She gave you a fake number to get rid of you.

Sorry, but it happens...
(not to me though, because I never ask in the first place)

BTW I honestly admire your courage!

Dude, I'm not female....but that is bold. I applaud you. Don't presume the negative! You got what you wanted, don't turn it into a negative. Now it IS possible things might not work out, but don't get in your mind and rush ahead. Don't over think it! Just go with it.

Call her in a day or so. Set a day or evening to hang out.

Sometimes you just catch a woman who is done with her bf, but can't leave or won't for various reasons. She says he's overprotective, and because she said this, I'm guessing she's tired of it. She might be looking for a change.

Just look at this as practice, come what may. That can take the pressure off.

Good luck.

OK well she didn't reply to my text, so I called and the voice mail message was a guy's voice just lovely. I am assuming that is her bf and that either means she gave me his number to be a b**** or her bf's voice is her customized voice mail message? If hitting on women is a normal thing and men don't know that certain women aren't single until they mention and I even stopped hitting on her after she mentioned that...then why in the world would a woman do something so evil? Why would she actually give me her bf's number? To try to have him beat me up just because I hit on her? Wow if this is the case...this world might not be worth living in. Her bf texted me back asking who I was and I somehow accidentally said that I was a woman! Here is the thing...now he thinks I am a woman and even sent me texts asking me what high school I went to and was like "That is nice, so your a girl." I really hate drama and I really want to just move on from this carp, but the problem is that he sent me a text mentioning that he also goes to the same college and his gf knows what I look like so if they ever cross paths with me, she could point me out to him. I thought of a good idea, but I am thinking that it might just make things worse. I was thinking of pretending to be my own gf and mention to her bf that the relationship between me and myself has been on the rocks lately and that I(gf form) heard from me(real me) that I hit on this girl at college and that I(gf form) found out because I saw the text I(real me) sent to his gf and that would MAYBE keep the guy off my back, BUT this plan could very well just blow up in my face. It is pretty complicated and I could see it going over a simpleton meatheads...head. I also just thought about saying sorry man I thought your gf was single, but as I was walking away from her, she gave me this number. What do you all think I should do?

Thanks for reminding me why I never do that.

If I were in that situation, I would cut my losses and not try anything clever no matter how tempting it might be.

I would "Lose" the number and move on: you've gained valuable life experience and should quit while you're ahead...

Yeah Grisha. Here is the thing I am confident around women in Asia since they are a lot friendlier and they are rarely vindictive unlike women here in the US. I used to teach English in China and I had 4 different girlfriends there and I was only there for 2 years! I have had more experiences with the opposite sex in my 2 years in China, than I have in my entire life here in the US! Yeah this situation has reminded me not to ever try hitting on women living here in the US ever again. I will just focus on getting my BA degree and head back to the far east where I know I will be appreciated by women. What a crazy world we live in. If it weren't for Asia...I think there would really be no place for me. Does anyone on here feel that same way?

Have you tried looking up who the number is registered to? Might take a bit of poking about, but you should be able to get enough info for free. If a woman ever gave me the run around like, I don't know that I'd ever forgive her. Basically, the fact that she told you she had a bf and then gave you her number is an immediate red flag. Either she is playing a game, or she isn't being faithful. Either way, I will avoid her like the plague.

Just in case, I think some NT female perspectives could be useful here.

Well, she DID say her bf is over protective. It is certainly a messed up situation. But here's the thing..she could have been entirely sincere with you. Perhaps her bf is SO overprotective as to put his voice on her phone message to intimidate callers, and he screens her texts to keep her under his thumb. I only say this because I know someone in the exact same situation--but he monitors my female friends emails, checks her phone periodically, etc. The guy she's with is a real a**hole that way.

This girl you met, perhaps she was hoping to get your call directly or perhaps intercept you before her bf. I wouldn't automatically assume she was playing you. You really don't know.

I still think you did good to approach her in the first place. These things will not always work out. Them's the lumps you take.

Why did you say you were a girl? You should have just ignored his text.

She could have made up a number and that guy has nothing to do with her.
Or it could actually be her boyfriend or a friend.

It's weird.. why the f*** would someone do that. She sounds mentally ret*d.

hmmm, I'd be careful about slinging that word around. In addition to a current female friend who's stuck in an abusive relationship and can't get out, I'm also reading a novel manuscript for another friend of mine who, at the age of 14, was seduced by a 27 year old abusive man who so controlled her and verbally tortured her that she became anorexic.

You don't know the intentions of the woman in the original post. I could very well be wrong, but I've seen a few instances where her actions could be considered a 'cry for help' as it were in trying to break away.

Last edited by AsteroidNap on 11 Oct 2011, 1:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

She might need your help with her boyfriend I wish I could share a jail cell with him id teach him a lesson

Oh I am so bad

Well here is the thing...it is definitely not HER number. Also, she was giving off total awkwardness and creeped out vibes the entire time I was talking to her....so I am positive that she was just messing with me. At first, I thought she just gave me a random number, but when the guy texted that he goes to Saddleback college too, I assumed that she was soulless enough to give me his number as a sort of aggressive way also non verbally saying: "Hey, loser, I'm taken and you made such a grave mistake hitting on me. Now face my boyfriend." I will never forgive her for this that is for sure. I don't think it is in my nature to be able to look away from such injustice and repulsive behavior. I hate drama and I just want to let it go, but here it the thing. She pissed me off so much that I honestly do feel like getting back at her in some way. If her boyfriend wants to try to kick my ass, then fine. I have reached my breaking point and I am sick of most of the people in this world. I know that hurting and killing people will ruin my life, but I also ruin my own life being so reserved and meek all the time and never really standing up for myself. Apera...great idea. I have never actually done this before and have no idea how to go about this. Would I possibly be able to find out who the number is registered to online? Well since I want to avoid fighting and violence, knowing that would only ruin my life...what are more subtle anonymous things I could do to at least get back at her for doing something like this to me?

OK well I tried searching on google and also ReversePhoneDetective.com, but of course it is not free, so I guess I will never find out. Sometimes I really fall into this state of mind where I am not sure whether to just let something go or do something. This is especially true when someone does something completely unreasonable and terrible like what she did. The sad thing is that I wasn't even very interested in her at the time. My inner compass is going haywire as I reflect on this. I wonder if any Aspies have backed up other Aspies in bullying situations here. I don't mean within the forums. I mean I wonder if one Aspie actually met another Aspie in real life from this site and defended or helped them out in some way haha. That would be really cool. Anyway, it is a little past 1am and my mind is running away with me again.

Im sorry but it sounds to me like you were given a fake number.

I applaud your courage in asking her and it doesnt seem like she is a person that you´d benefit from knowing(I understand that a female has the choice to turn down males but I think that the whole fake number thing is a bit too harsh since you are giving the guy hope)so you should probably just try to avoid her from now on.

Well like I said...the guy texted me saying he goes to the SAME COLLEGE as me and that girl who gave me the number. Do you mean that she gave me a "fake number" in the sense that the number was just not hers? I highly doubt that she just spouted out random numbers and turns out the number belongs to another student at the same college...that happens to be a male. Knowing this changes the whole situation. She wasn't just trying to "get rid of me"...she was being a b**** on purpose.