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Why dating and love is for some...pointless and empty

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Love...overrated and pointless?
Yes 34%  34%  [ 19 ]
No 66%  66%  [ 37 ]
Total votes : 56

Iza
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17 Oct 2011, 10:00 pm

Ahem...Love as some people seem to think is important and helpful in life.

Idiots them all. For some of us...especially those like me, being alone is the best choice. Being without a bf/gf/spouse/partner is not a bad thing, as love isn't for everyone.

So advice to teens, and especially to those on the spectrum...do not let infatuation or relationships consume you...I did, and it nearly destroyed me. After my last relationship ended in utter disaster, I decided that it is better off for me to remain "self" for the rest of my days. It also protects me from allowing my goals and plans being disrupted, or allowing me to do as I wish without having to be worried about a woman's grip on my choices.

I have always resisted disruption and control over me. And if any of you share that same drive to resist, consider the decisions of love heavily. Is the yoke of marriage, dating, or a relationship worth that freedom you crave?

Not to me.

If anyone thinks I am wrong, please...I encourage you to tell me why.



SadAspy
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17 Oct 2011, 10:43 pm

Love/dating isn't for those of us who could not possibly be loved by anyone.



Fnord
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17 Oct 2011, 10:47 pm

^ Another "Sucks to be me" post?

:roll:

Love will get a person through times of no sex better than sex gets people through times of no love.



Iza
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17 Oct 2011, 10:56 pm

Fnord wrote:
^ Another "Sucks to be me" post?

:roll:

Love will get a person through times of no sex better than sex gets people through times of no love.


uh...no.

I simply do not care anymore about the emotional ties to people. Makes no logical sense to me, and never really has. I tried it, found it wasn't for me, and said "Well that didn't work, next experiment!"

It's like trying cottage cheese, finding it dry, and deciding not to eat it again because it does nothing for your tastebuds.

Romance does nothing for me, only irritated and consumed my focus. I can't in a logical standing be stupid.
I got serious goals, and romance is only a weight to those goals.



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17 Oct 2011, 11:39 pm

If I managed to get in a relationship with someone with whom I have little in common, love may seem more "pointless" and "draining" than if I found someone who at least had an interest in autism spectrum disorders, as well as video games (my major hobby.)


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hale_bopp
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18 Oct 2011, 12:19 am

Love isn't overrated. I've gotten wonderful joy from loving my pets and family.

Romantic relationships, imo, are. Unless it's with the exact right person, It's not worth it. I am happy and a lot less stressed when I am not infatuated with others. It makes life simpler.



bucephalus
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18 Oct 2011, 12:37 am

dating and love is for some pointless and empty... when they have not tried everyone. there's nothing wrong with the OP's choices, apart from cottage cheese. i love cottage cheese

I voted a resounding 'no' tho


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18 Oct 2011, 2:44 am

Iza wrote:
So advice to teens, and especially to those on the spectrum...do not let infatuation or relationships consume you...I did, and it nearly destroyed me. After my last relationship ended in utter disaster, I decided that it is better off for me to remain "self" for the rest of my days. It also protects me from allowing my goals and plans being disrupted, or allowing me to do as I wish without having to be worried about a woman's grip on my choices.

I have always resisted disruption and control over me. And if any of you share that same drive to resist, consider the decisions of love heavily. Is the yoke of marriage, dating, or a relationship worth that freedom you crave?

Not to me.

If anyone thinks I am wrong, please...I encourage you to tell me why.


Relationships tend to be emotionally and physically draining for us and they tend to be very stressful but they can be rewarding. People that tend to be apathetic about love are generally people who have had negative experiences with relationship and decide to close themselves to the concept of it.

For instance if you have an active lifestyle of going to college, working part time, going to the gym in the evening, taking classes, the simple answer is to find someone who shares the desire for an active lifestyle and that wants to achieve something. If you have a girlfriend who sits on Facebook all day, that's your fault.



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18 Oct 2011, 2:50 am

Iza wrote:
If anyone thinks I am wrong, please...I encourage you to tell me why.


There are two types of people in life and love.

A. Those that tend to makes excuses and justify their failures in work or love, blaming it on external causes such as circumstances and justify their apathy. Never taking responsibility and pointing the finger elsewhere so they can wallow in self-pity and negativity.
B. Those that accept their mistakes, take it as a positive learning experience, realize that to grow they need to to encounter loss and struggle and move on without allowing it to affect their attitude or become bitter.



hurtloam
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18 Oct 2011, 4:44 pm

Well, yeah, sometimes I feel like love is a pointless waste of my time because I keep getting hurt, I keep having to walk away and it's hard to believe I won't break this habit of getting into self destructive psuedo-relationships and actually have a real loving relationship with someone.

But there are the glimers of light in these dark disasters that I cherish and I know that it is something that I can't live without.

It was pointed out to me by a close friend that if I really don't believe in love like I keep telling him I don't, the why do I enjoy love songs so much? There is something inside of me that won't let go.



anna-banana
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18 Oct 2011, 4:47 pm

*edit - meh.


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seoulgamer
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18 Oct 2011, 4:58 pm

In my case, I can't and don't wish to master the Alpha-male behaviours and attitudes, so most females whom I get to know will likely experience no attraction to me. However, "giving up" on love is both impossible and counter-productive. You'll make yourself more unhappy by passing up opportunities and trying to deny your desires than by trying and failing.

Relationships are a complicated business, anyway. If one does come your way, it may well prove to be more challenging than you might think, and problems such as infidelity seem very common. It's best to just not bother if you can't find one that suits both your emotional needs and those of a partner.


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Pocket
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18 Oct 2011, 5:44 pm

seoulgamer wrote:
In my case, I can't and don't wish to master the Alpha-male behaviours and attitudes, so most females whom I get to know will likely experience no attraction to me. However, "giving up" on love is both impossible and counter-productive. You'll make yourself more unhappy by passing up opportunities and trying to deny your desires than by trying and failing.


I would say that it is a delicate balance of the two :) Deny some, and fail some. Some say love is a losers game, whatever that means.
Alot of pun
to be spun
from that one
:D

My cousin never really believed much in the stuff, but a few years ago he met someone who is now his wife. I do not know what to believe myself, other than my looks have compensated for my social skills, the few times I have found myself in a relationship. There's certainly no point in overdoing the dating/love/daydreaming stuff, but 21 is maybe a little young to give up. There may be some love and care out there, but you never know where, I guess. Staying open minded helps though.



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19 Oct 2011, 8:17 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Love isn't overrated. I've gotten wonderful joy from loving my pets and family.

Romantic relationships, imo, are. Unless it's with the exact right person, It's not worth it. I am happy and a lot less stressed when I am not infatuated with others. It makes life simpler.


You beat me to the punch - family that is, I stayed alive for my pets :) , glad I stuck around thank god for medication :)


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LikeGreenAndBlue
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19 Oct 2011, 9:09 pm

Love is not for everyone because in the world we live in not everyone can get love from the opposite sex.

There are many people who are involuntary celibates because our societies are highly hypergamous where women often seek rich and high-status men.

Because we live in a world of 7 billion people, some people will always be treated like numbers (or as not so important) whereas others will always get all or most of the attention from the opposite sex and will stand above the crowd.



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19 Oct 2011, 10:24 pm

Aspies in relationships it makes about as much sense to me as Reaganomics spin it all you like I ain't buying it. And if you are be prepared for it to go wrong in a major way surely the last few years should have taught you something?





The unlovable can never be loved surely most of you are now mature enough by now to come to this realisation ?

I blame the parents.


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